


Fresh Start

by elldell1204



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 59,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22077694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elldell1204/pseuds/elldell1204
Summary: Detective Madeleine Turner is the newest addition to Hank Voight's Intelligence Unit, transferring from New York's Special Victims Unit in need of a fresh start... again. But what happens when a certain green eyed detective spikes her interest? Will she be able to resist? Will she be fired for following her heart?(I own my original characters. All rights for the Chicago PD, Med and Fire characters go to their respective owners, they are not mine.  Any images used are also not mine and their rights go to their respective owners.)
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Original Female Character(s), Jay Halstead/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

I sighed, swirling the last of the golden liquid that I had in my glass, before bringing it to my lips and tilting it, allowing the drink to flow down my throat, burning it satisfyingly in the process. Replacing the cup on the bar, I played with my fingers, my mind focusing on the distant memories of the life I decided to leave back in London. I truly believed a fresh start in New York City was the right medicine for the ache I had, as cliché as it sounds, but now I'm not so sure. There wasn't anything that I particularly ran away from back home, I just knew the life as an Inspector didn't fit me well enough, despite me working my arse off to get it. The call from the Special Victims Unit offering me a job came through at exactly the right time, so I said goodbye to my mother, who is a nurse at Great Ormond Street Hospital, and I left. Simple as that.

We hadn't gotten along very well for a few years at that point, despite idolising her since I can remember. I was used to it being just me and her, and even though I was a grown woman I was still slightly jealous when she met anyone and had a relationship. Although I encouraged her, nothing ever came of every path she went down, until she met a man called Roger Flanagan at work, a well known cardiothoracic surgeon. I liked him at first, I really did, but as time went on, something about him never sat right with me from the get-go. A few months passed, and the feeling grew. Then I found out what it was that bothered me. Or, it was more like he revealed it to me.

_A fundraising gala for an emergency service charity, 4 years ago, back in London._

_I walked outside to the front of the building, desperate o escape the smell of expensive liquors and sickly perfume that filled the ballroom. I delicately lifted the emerald skirt of my satin ballgown and made my way down the front steps, as carefully as possible as I was not used to wearing heels. I brushed away the silky brown curl that had mischievously ventured onto my cheek and began to wander to the left of the building. When I was out of the way, I leaned back against a wall, sighing with relief to catch a moment of peace, away from all the snob--ahem,_ generous _people that suffocated me inside._

_Then I felt a hand on my arm. I turned, finding Roger grinning at me with a darkening in his eyes that seemed deeper than when I had seen it before._

_"What are you doing out here alone?" he questioned, but not in a caring manner._

_"I ... um... just needed some air." I replied, cautiously._

_"Ah, I see." He said, winking, making me feel uneasy. I stared into his eyes, searching for the real meaning behind him following me, but I didn't have to search for long. He moved his hand up and down my arm, caressing it like a child would to a ripped teddy bear. With his other hand, he reached for the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his wandering thumb. I gulped, hard. My mind screamed for me to move but my body wouldn't, it couldn't. I was frozen, like his touch somehow paralysed me. The hand that was on my arm moved to my waist, his fingers slowly crawling up to my right breast, before he began to massage it. I looked away, begging for the tears that welled up in my eyes to leave. Without me realising, he leaned into my ear, whispering, "I know of your purity, and I'm eager to take it from you." All I could think was that I needed to get away, I needed to run. I knew I was right about those times when he watched my arse as I walked by, the times he stared at my chest, grinning and the times he glanced at me whilst biting his lip. They weren't all figures of my imagination. I knew they weren't. Why did I not act upon it? 'Stupid' I reprimanded myself in my mind._

_"Roger, honey?" At last, a saviour. Quickly, Roger retreated, just before my mother appeared from around the corner of the building._

_"There you both are, are you okay?" my mother questioned._

_"Yeah, we're good sweetheart. Maddie here just needed some air and I wanted to make sure she was feeling alright" Roger said sickly, making my heart wretch at the bitter half-truth that escaped his mouth._

_"It's cold out, shall we all go back inside?" my mother smiled. I turned to her, unable to pick my eyes up from the floor and nodded. I heard the clicking of my mother's heels grow fainter and I looked up to see Roger standing like a giant, glaring at me with a murderous grin that warned me to keep my mouth shut, before he too disappeared around the corner, leaving me to slump against the wall and break down in a whirlwind of tears, silent screams and nervous shivering._

I gulped. That night would haunt me forever.

"Another one?" The two words snapped me out of the minefield in my mind, and all I could do was look at the bartender.

"Two." The gravelly voice beside me answered. The bartender turned away, and I looked to my right to see a silver-haired man sat on the stool next to me. "Sergeant Hank Voight." he said, holding his hand out. Offering a small smile, I shook it, "Detective Madeleine Turner, but call me Maddie."

"Nice to meet you, Maddie. I saw you at the Special Victims Unit earlier but never got a chance to fully introduce myself, tough case today wasn't it?"

"Yes, but when is there an easy one?"

"Fair point," he tilted his head, sighing apologetically. "How are things going there?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I will be forever grateful to Sergeant Benson, but there's just something missing. I thought New York would be the right city to move to from London for me, but I guess I was wrong."

"Well, how about Chicago?" My eyes wide, I stared at Voight in shock. Did I just hear what I thought I heard?

"I ... well..." I started, which was returned by a low chuckle from him.

"Yes Maddie, I just offered you a job. Olivia has been talking my ear off about you and your great potential, and I need someone like you in my Intelligence unit back in Chicago. Obviously, you don't have to decide tonigh- "

"Yes!" I interrupted, quickly clamping my hand over my mouth after being so rude. "Sorry." I muttered, a smile beginning to grow on my face.

"Well, I'll have to send some paperwork off to you and your boss, but it'll all soon be sorted on my end."

And for the rest of the hour we continued to talk about it, about what the unit was about, the fine details of the job, when I would start and all the little bits that I needed to know.

There we have it, the night that changed my life for the better, the fresh start after my fresh start about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my first story. I hope you enjoy it, and don't feel shy to comment or leave kudos! I really appreciate it :)


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks later, I stood outside the 21st district admiring its beauty, holding a small brown box between my arm and torso that contained a few items I would like to keep on my desk. I took a deep breath and made my way inside to start my first day. I didn’t feel nervous as such, but I was so damn excited that I had a whole swarm of butterflies dancing relentlessly in my stomach. I walked up to the desk, and the sergeant looked down at me.

“Good morning, Sergeant…” I looked at her badge. “…Platt” She peered down at me with a stern expression that would usually phase me, but I saw a light in her eye that showed she wasn’t as cold hearted as she would first appear. “I’m the new detective in Intelligence, would you mind helping me out as to how I get into Fort Knox?” I smiled, gesturing towards the gate with a hand scanner and a pin pad to its right. 

“Okay, twinkle toes. I’ll buzz you up.” She coldly returned. “But I need to see you before the end of the shift to set up your own handprint, since I’m not too excited to help you out every day. I also need this paperwork back as soon as possible” I continued to smile, stifling a small chuckle that was desperate to escape my mouth. This woman was badass.

After she pressed a button to open the gate, I thanked the sergeant and headed up to meet the new team I would be working with.

As I began emerging at the top of the stairs, I heard the clicking of the keyboards and the quiet chatter of people on phones, but what I enjoyed most of all was the gentle eruption of laughter that calmed my butterflies ever so slightly. If there was one thing I had to have in my workplace, it was a great relationship between all members of the team and a great laugh at times.

Then, the tapping of keys came to a halt when I reached the top, and the gleeful conversations had halted, not that the joyful atmosphere had dissipated, though.

I looked around, seeing 5 pairs of eyes that landed on me, and a sixth that emerged from the office at the end of the room.

“Right everyone, as you know there was a spot open in Intelligence, and that will now be filled by Detective Madeleine Turner.” Voight said, nodding his head towards me.

“Hey everyone, feel free to call me Maddie. I’m looking forward to working with you all.” I smiled warmly, trying not to let the nerves that now surfaced affect my speech too much.

“Wow, love the accent!” The blonde guy with mellow brown eyes who was sat to my right said, before standing up with a comforting smile and walking over to shake my hand, after I placed my box down on the edge of a desk. “I’m Adam Ruzek, nice to meet you.” 

“Likewise.” I said smiling as he pulled away.

The rest of them followed suit, saying their names as they either shook my hand or hugged me. There was Kevin Atwater, Hailey Upton and Kim Burgess.

Then the last one, a tall but welcoming figure came over to me, his brown hair and slightly tanned skin sprinkled with freckles making his gorgeous blue eyes shine like lagoons whilst he cheekily smirked at me, his lean but muscular frame enveloping me in an embrace, tantalising my nose with the smell of eucalyptus and cedar. Not wanting to but having to, I pulled away from him as he did me. I looked at his warm expression as he said, “Welcome to the unit, I’m Jay Halstead, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“As it is you.” I responded, glancing down at the floor for a mere second then looking back up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I heard a barely noticeable whisper from Adam, before I turned to Voight to see him looking at me with an underlying emotion I couldn’t read properly before it flickered away.

“So, where should I set up, Sarge?” I questioned, trying to divert the attention away from my reddening cheeks.

“Here,” he answered, pointing to the only empty desk in the room. Of course it was there. ‘Idiot’ I scalded myself. “Opposite Halstead.” He finished. Brilliant.

I picked up my box and walked over to my new desk, placing it down. I began to sort out my things and the people around me returned to their activities they were doing before I came in. As I decided where to place a few of my things, I felt like I was being watched, but brushed it off as my nerves finally settling.

About 10 minutes later, after turning on my computer and getting a start of the paperwork Platt gave me, Kim came over and sat on the edge of my desk.  
“Want to come with me on a coffee run?” She questioned. I looked behind my right shoulder into the break room, where I remembered seeing a jug of the stuff earlier. I turned back to her, and in answer to my puzzled looked she whispered, “That stuff is vile, and there’s a lovely little coffee shop a few blocks away. Plus, I’d love to get out of here for a few minutes.”

“Sure.” I replied, standing up and grabbing my coat. As we walked down the aisle of the room, I slightly turned my head to catch a glimpse of Jay, working away at something on his computer screen whilst biting down on the end of a pen.

Outside, Kim and I jumped into her car and we drove off.

“So, got your eye on Halstead, have you?” She chuckled. I glared at her, jokingly, pulling a face to attempt to convince her I was innocent.

Knowing she wasn’t falling for it, I gave up. “Who hasn’t. I mean, look at him. But honestly, I doubt I’ll attempt to pursue anything. I assume Voight isn’t a big fan of in-house romance…” Kim nodded in confirmation. “…and I would like to keep my job instead of holding a record for the quickest dismissal of a detective.”

All Kim did was smile. We chatted some more, mostly about what our favourite parts of our jobs were and the common areas like that, but all I could think about was the turquoise glass that pierced my heart from the moment I saw it, the dusting of little sun-kissed spots over his cheeks and the smirk that made my heart flutter like a teenage girl. I knew nothing could happen, I couldn’t let it, but that only made me even more curious…

***

After returning with coffee for the whole team, the rest of the day was a quiet one. We all did some paperwork and some of us did some surveillance and I set myself up and walked around, familiarising myself with the building. With plenty of jokes and laughs throughout the day, I settled in pretty well, eager to continue on with my new life.

As the team began to file out, Hailey said, as she grabbed her coat, “Hey Maddie, wanna join us at Molly’s? It’s a bar a lot of us and our friends go to.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” I replied with a smile, grabbing my coat and walking with her and Kim down the stairs, chatting as we did so.

We soon arrived at Molly’s, and as we walked in, we were greeted by people from the fire department and the hospital who were friends of my colleagues. I greeted many, and I was welcomed in like part of a big family. After meeting everyone, I looked around and my eyes fell on Jay, who gestured to me to sit with him at the bar, along with Adam, who quickly excused himself as I began to walk towards them, but not before he threw a wink at Jay that he thought I wouldn’t be able to see.

“What would you like to drink?” Jay asked as I made myself comfortable on a stool. I smiled, an exaggerated undecisive look on my face.

“Very important question, Halstead. Why don’t you guess? Put those detective skills to some use.” I winked.

Squinting his eyes, he turned his body to face me and put his index fingers to his temples, evoking a laugh from me. Then, he said, “Herrmann, a Sex on the Beach and whiskey off the rocks, if you don’t mind.”

I continued to smirk, not wanting to give anything away. When the drinks were placed down in front of us, I looked at him and declared, “Not really my thing, detective.” referring to the cocktail in front of me. 

“Hold your horses there,” he chuckles, and then he switches the two drinks around. “The cocktail was for me!” he exclaims, taking a sip of it and wincing dramatically at the sweetness of it.

Unable to suppress my amusement any longer, I laughed wholeheartedly at the dorky character who accompanied me, which he joined in on.

We laughed away the night, with friends from all departments coming and going from the seats around us, joining in on our fun. But Jay and I didn’t move for a good few hours, until I decided to call it a day.

“I had fun tonight.” I admitted, swinging my legs out and hopping off the stool.

“You’re saying that as we had a first date and wouldn’t dare go on a second.” He said, tilting his head playfully.

“Well, if it was a first date, I definitely would have a second one, possibly even a third, if you were lucky.” I chuckled. With that, we both just smiled into each other’s eyes for a few seconds.

“I’ll walk you to your car.” He said, joining me standing up. We were inches away now, a yearning growing in my lower abdomen, but it felt so normal, so right, like I’d known this guy for years.

We walked out of Molly’s and over to my car, before I clicked ‘unlock’ on my keys and opened my door.

“Thank you for today. You really made me feel at ease, which is not a simple feat to achieve when I’m in that state of mind.”

“My pleasure.” 

I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to drag him into the backseat of my car and do the things my body craved. The look in his eyes told me a similar story, but I couldn’t do it, that wasn’t me. So, I kissed him on the cheek and got in, before my mind lost control of my body. I smiled and waved as I drove off, turning around a corner before I exhaled deeply, letting go of an excitement that had built up that I hadn’t felt before.


	3. Chapter 3

Afewmonths had gone by since my first day. We'd accomplished many drug busts and solved many homicide cases, with a few major cases along the way. Little nudges of flirtatious behaviour had creeped into mine and Jay's daily lives and although I had to mentally remind myself daily that I couldn't pursue anything, my heart throbbed for me to do so. Overall, I have to say, I was enjoying my time in Chicago greatly.

Half an hour or so into the shift, Voight came out of his office and dragged a whiteboard out in front of us.

"Jimmy Strickland" he said, sticking up a photo of a middle-aged, bald, white male, with dark eyes and a scruffy goatee onto the board as we all stood up, walking to a more convenient spot where we could listen to the case better. "Owns a nightclub downtown where he houses some exotic dancers along with dozens of bricks of heroin, the same strain that has caused eight ODs this month. Some intel we already have is that he pays some of his dancers extra to help package it up."

I heard Hailey scoff behind me, and I felt the exact same disgust.

"Now, we've tried getting this guy before, but he is very particular about who he deals with, keeps his circle tight. He is the sole holder of a key to open the vault where he has the workers and where he stores the product, and only he handles it. But there's a small crack in his defence; word from my CI is that he enjoys flirting with some of the women that accompany his male guests, says he gets off on being able to take them away from their partners, so I reckon that's our best shot at getting hold of the key. We also need to get into the vault and out before he realises and has time to alert his security of what's going on, so we would be best arresting him straight after with as little chaos as possible."

"But wouldn't a fake robbery by us work?" Adam says. "We hold him 'hostage' and force him to open the vault."

"No, his security would be all over us in a matter of seconds and we'd be toast going up against, and I quote, 'dozens of the toughest bouncers on the block', not to mention they wouldn't hesitate to fire, even around that many civilians." I said, summarising some quick research I'd pulled up on my screen. "I'd say our best shot is going in undercover."

"Agreed. Halstead, Turner, you're gonna be a couple. Turner, you grab the key discreetly and slip it to Halstead quietly before distracting Strickland. The rest of you, you're gonna suit up and wait outside the back entrance for the signal from Halstead telling you he's disabled the alarm system. You'll break in the back entrance and infiltrate the vault. After, Turner will lure Strickland outside and we'll grab him up."

We all nodded in response. The look on my face was one of determination, but internally I was so damn excited for this undercover mission.

"Research floor plans, the target's weaknesses, anything you need and get ready. We roll out in an hour"

I got up and walked into the room opposite the lockers to choose from the array of outfits we have for undercover missions to attempt to find something perfect for this one. I knew the type of person Strickland was, and it would take something major to be his centre of attention. It didn't take long before I found the perfect look. It was something I personally wouldn't choose; it was too racy and showed way too much of me that I didn't want the world to see. But for tonight, attempting to catch Strickland's eye, it was precisely the right attire, and it also allowed me to retain at least a shred of dignity. I unhooked the lace bodysuit from the rack, laying it gently over my arm, then I unhooked a pair of smart dress pants and carried them both into the locker room to change. I inspected every part of the locker room, checking for any stray officers that may accidentally catch a glimpse. With it being clear, I walked behind the lockers and began to get undressed.

After I put on my 'uniform', per se, I walked over to the mirror and looked at the person staring back at me. I had to convince myself that the figure I saw was actually me since I looked like I had just walked out of a Playboy magazine, but damn I felt good. There's nothing like dressing up and feeling sexy for yourself. Except, in a way, this was done for Strickland, which made me feel a little queasy.

I jumped slightly when I heard a knock at the door.

"Hey, Maddie, you in there?" Kim's voice came through the wood.

"Yeah, I'm done getting changed, feel free to come in." I replied, stepping back slowly from the mirror and beginning to emerge from behind the lockers.

The door opened and in Kim came, who suddenly stopped in her tracks when she laid her eyes on me.

"Oh my goodness, you look gorgeous!" She exclaimed, inducing a light blush to form on my cheeks.

"Thank you, but is it too much? I mean, I don't know if- "

"No, it looks amazing and its perfect for the task at hand. Strickland might have to fight off many other opponents though with you looking so sexy" She winked. "Lemme do your makeup, we need it to match your whole aura." She offered, placing her hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes. I instantly relaxed and sat down on the bench and allowed Kim to proceed with her masterpiece.

After a few minutes, when Kim said she was finished, I stood up and went back over to the mirror.

"Wow, Kim, you've done such a good job..." The burgundy smoky eye made my blue eyes look piercing, and the nude lipstick made sure all of the attention was focused on my eyes. After a few more seconds of admiring Kim's work, I looked down and realised how exposed I felt. Even though I loved the entire look, I felt very out of character. Noticing I was beginning to tense up, Kim left the room and came back with some burgundy heels and a matching colour leather jacket, offering them to me to put on. I thanked her with my eyes, grateful she was able to read me without me having to voice my insecurity.

We left the locker room together and made our way down to the tech room where I would be fitted with a wire in some form and given a rigged phone to establish an audio connection.

I followed Kim in to find Jay with his head down, picking at a bit of fluff on his pants, being sorted out with a wire by Adam. ' _Damn,'_ I thought. He looked handsome in a long-sleeved, emerald-green dress shirt that had all but its two top buttons done, some black dress pants and a pair of black, suede dress shoes. Adam suddenly stopped his work when I walked in, his eyes along with his slightly dropped jaw indicating his bewilderment. I chuckled nervously, looking down at my feet before lifting my head again to find Jay walking over to me, a more toned-down expression of the same emotion as Adam on his face. He stopped in front of me and gently touched my arm near my elbow.

"You look stunning." He said, softly. I gazed into his eyes, the teal irises full of ripples that reflected rays of light in all directions, whilst a small smile grew on his lips. I didn't realise how close he was to me, but I ached for him to be closer. A hunger built in me that I had felt that night at Molly's, a message from my body to tell me all the things it wanted him to do to me, and I can't say my mind disagreed.

"Well, we have to get Strickland's attention. I'm guessing that shouldn't be a problem." I teased, softly biting my lip subconsciously whilst examining his attire, along with his toned figure, but that wasn't the part I was hinting at. Strickland enjoyed tearing apart a good couple, and it wasn't going to be hard to put on a show, for me, at least

A small cough interrupted my thought process. "So, I should probably fit you with a wire, Maddie." Adam spoke up, holding a necklace that contained a camera in one hand and a small earpiece in the other.

I looked over Jay's shoulder at him. A small nod was all I could muster.

A few minutes later and the whole squad was ready to roll out. Hank was briefing us on the plan, and although I was listening, it was half-arsed listening I must say, as I couldn't stop stealing glances of Jay.

**_Jay's POV_ **

' _Fuck'_ is all I kept thinking. Maddie looked breath-taking, and that was an understatement. The past few months getting to know my partner have been amazing; she was hilarious, she was a badass and she doesn't realise how wonderful she actually is. Since the first time I met her and we spoke, I knew I was fascinated by her. But I didn't expect to be this encapsulated by her. When we were apart, I ached to just drive over to her apartment and just sit with her, snuggling together on the couch or laughing together over dinner. But when the moments occurred, the moments where her eyes revealed the fleeting thoughts of us being together, being intimate, were moments I had never shared with anyone before in such depth as I did with Maddie. We could both sense the feeling was mutual, but neither of us wanted to speak up or act on it, just yet anyway. I wanted to take my time in getting to know her first, I didn't want it to appear as though she was merely a fling, and the more I did, the more these desires grew. And, evidently with the little moment we had in the tech room, the desires were growing for her too.

I ached to release them, to let her know I wanted her, but I needed to wait for the right time.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking into the club, I felt a little uncomfortable. Although I knew I had to act flirty and look like I have four one-night-stands a week, I still radiated the shy introvert I needed to be the opposite of tonight. Like a professional, Jay snaked his hand around my waist, pulling me close to his warm chest, and slowly grazing up and down my side with his thumb to calm me, which was successful. I turned my head to face him and whispered a small thank you, before looking forward once again and putting on the façade as we entered through the rotating doors.

Inside, I surveyed the setting, examining the floor and the people on it. Jay guided me to the bar with his hand grazing the small of my back while I laid my head on his shoulder and we both took our seats on stools. I leaned on the bar in a way that made my body face both my partner and the rest of the club, my eyes flickering between both every few seconds.

After a few minutes of flirtatious chatting and friendly touches, I noticed a bald man with a scruffy goatee in a dark blue, velvet jacket and dark pants sat in one of the round booths with a few of the dancers around him.

“Bingo,” I said to Jay, giggling and leaning forward slightly as if we were continuing our conversation, knowing Strickland was watching me. “Eight o’clock for you, in one of the booths. Don’t look.”

“Is he coming over?” Jay replied, turning his body to face mine slightly.

“No, he is watching but we need to do something more drastic.”

I place my hand on Jay’s shirt-covered bicep and began running my hand up and down it slowly, tilting my head playfully. Playing along, Jay looked down at my thigh and looked back at my eyes, asking silently for permission before I smiled at him to allow it. He put his hand on an area between the top and the side of my left thigh, a weak spot of mine that he had now discovered, and brushed it with his thumb, working his way further up, bit by bit, which elicited a small sigh to escape my lips. With his other hand, he tamed a stray piece of my hair by tucking it behind my ear, allowing his hand to linger on the side of my face. Lost in the moment, I didn’t realise an ominous figure that became closer before a rough hand gripped my shoulder.

“Hello sexy,” Strickland’s gruff voice rattled. I turned to look at his face, the dark abysses growing when he locked contact with my eyes. “What a lovely little pet you have here…” he said to Jay. I mentally gipped at what he called me.

“Isn’t she just?” Jay played along, but I knew he was as sick with disgust as I was.

“A pet with many tricks up her sleeve.” I flirted, biting my lip as I focused on Strickland’s lips and then trailed my eyes down to his crotch.

“Reserved for me.” Jay added, slightly tinged with anger.

“Oh, I doubt that.” Strickland cackled, using his index finger to lift up my chin so we locked eyes once more. “Isn’t that right, sweetie.”

I smirked evilly as I stood up from the stool, my hand on Strickland’s hip, slyly slipping the key out of his pocket.

“Why don’t we go have some fun in one of the back rooms?” His words causing Jay to begin to stand up. I pushed him back down with my free hand, discreetly placing the key in his front pocket.

“It’s over, darling. I prefer a man with some experience anyways.” I scoffed, turning away with Strickland and walked towards the private rooms, the whole time with his firm hand gripping and massaging my arse. ‘ _Don’t be long.’_ I pleaded internally, hoping Jay would be able to read my mind.

**_Jay’s POV_ **

I was disgusted. I was furious, I knew this guy was a weirdo but that was something I never want to see happen to someone ever again, especially Maddie. She did great; it must have been so difficult not to punch him in the face because I know I was desperate to, but she managed to play it off so well and got the key to me without him noticing.

Once they had disappeared from view, I stormed towards the back, continuing the act of a man who just had his girlfriend stolen, and waited for the distraction Hailey was going to cause so I could slip past the guards and through the door into the back and shut off the alarm system, so the rest of the team could go through the door from the alley and infiltrate the vault without anyone knowing.

**_Maddie’s POV_ **

I was ushered into a dimly lit room by Strickland, only to be greeted by a plush king-sized bed, covered with a royal purple velvet throw and plush, violet cushions. To my right there was a stand that held toys of all natures, but I could only make out their outlines due to the sheet that hid them, and to my left there was a long table with short chains at each of the four corners. Before I could comment on all the sexual torture devices, I was pulled back by my necklace, slammed into a wall and attacked violently with kisses. Strickland plastered me with them, planting them along my neck sloppily, before pulling me slightly forward and grabbing my arse once more. I hissed at the contact, but that only fuelled his attack.

“Like it rough, do you?” He cackled, dropping my necklace to the floor that had snapped off when he pulled it. “I’ll show you rough, more than the little pretty boy you came in with ever could.” I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes. This wasn’t anything like I expected. I thought I would come in here, have to kiss him a little then when I was given the go-ahead through the ear-piece I would convince him to go back to his house so we could ‘continue’, meaning I would take him to the front of the club so we could slap some bracelets on him. But this was reminding me too much of the night at the gala, all of the helplessness rushing back in violent waves.

Suddenly he pushed his arm into my throat, cutting of my supply of air. I wasn’t able to breathe, let alone talk, so I couldn’t say the safe-word I had been told back at the district. And the physical indication was impossible, as not only were my hands blocked but they wouldn’t be able to see it anyway.

Strickland was grinding against me now, and I could feel his cock becoming hard against my leg. I closed my eyes, barricading the tears that formed. I didn’t want to be here, but I was trapped and alone. “The more you cry, the more I know you’re enjoying it.” I opened my eyes and looked at him blankly, being met with a devilish grin. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. It was like all of the life had been drained from me by those last few words. I was frozen again like the night at the gala.

I felt his fingers on my crotch, rubbing them up and down, in circles, faster, slower, violating me. I still couldn’t breathe; I was becoming dizzy. I felt the room start to spin when I heard, “CPD, put your hands up!”

Jay and Adam came bursting through the door, their guns aimed at Strickland. Realising he had to do something fast, Jay punched him in the face, forcing him to release me and stumble backwards, before being met with a second fist which knocked him to the floor.

I dropped to my knees, coughing and spluttering, desperate for air. Adam went to handcuff Strickland then viciously dragged him out of the room, glancing at me sympathetically before leaving. Jay knelt beside me, rubbing my back gently, comforting me in the best way he could possibly think of. When I sat back up, I looked at him through the cloudiness that had built up in my eyes, him returning a concerned expression.

Then I just broke down. I disintegrated into a mess of tears, cries and sobs, shaking erratically as he encapsulated me in his soothing embrace, his warm smell of cedar wood and eucalyptus relaxing me as I slowly returned to a semi-settled state. He released his arms, and I sat back.

“Thank you.” I whispered, looking up into his eyes to see a sympathy in them accompanied with a small smile on his lips.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He said, standing up and offering me his hand. I took it, pulling myself up off of the floor. He put his jacket around my shoulders before holding me close with his arm around my back.

We walked out to the front together, greeted by the rest of the unit, blue lights from their cars flashing intermittently on their faces.

“Maddie, I’m so sorry.” Kim started.

“Both the audio and visual cut out for a few minutes, then when it came back, we realised what he was doing and came to you as soon as we could. I am so sorry.” Kevin finished.

“I’m fine, it was no one’s fault. Don’t beat yourselves up about it. I’m just grateful you all did what you could.” I looked round at the rest of the team, who all were either looking down at their feet or picking at their fingers, all feeling guilty for what happened. “So, did you get it all?”

Adam looked up from the floor and smiled at me. “Yeah, we got it.”

I smiled back, and to all the team who began to look up too. “Great. Well done, team.” _‘At least it wasn’t for nothing’_ I thought.

After a few minutes of a quick briefing, the team began to dissipate, but Jay remained by my side.

I gazed up at his face, the streetlights allowing me to see some stubble that had begun to grow around his jawline, giving him a very handsome five o’clock shadow. “Jay…”

“Yeah?” He replied, looking down at me with a light smile.

“Can you take me home?”

“Of course.”


	5. Chapter 5

The ride home was a silent one. I stared out of the window for the most of it, every so often feeling Jay’s little glances. I could tell he felt guilty, but he had nothing to be guilty for. Everything went to plan apart from the last part, but nobody could have seen that coming.

When we arrived at my apartment building, I couldn’t do anything but look at it. I couldn’t get out of the car and I knew I certainly wouldn’t be able to rest easy being alone tonight.

“Jay,” I said quietly, earning a glance from him. “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t think I can be in there on my own.” He nodded, and we both got out and made our way up to my apartment.

When I entered, I threw my keys on the table and walked towards my bedroom. As much as I loved my outfit, I would kill to change into something comfier.

Before going in to get changed, I said, “Help yourself to anything. I won’t be long.” He replied with a smile, and with that I went through my bedroom door and shut it behind me. I searched around in my drawer and found a grey, oversized t-shirt and some black shorts. I rid my body of the undercover outfit and slipped into them. After removing my makeup, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was tangled, and a glassy sheen coated my eyes.

I sorted myself out, then emerged from my bedroom to find Jay sitting on the couch watching the Blackhawks game with a bottle of red wine from my fridge and two glasses on the coffee table. As I sat down next to him, he unfixed his attention from the screen and focused it on me. Guessing I wanted to talk, he turned off the TV and adjusted his position so his whole body face me. I also repositioned myself, turning my body to face him and tucking my legs up behind me.

“How are you?” he asked me, staring deep into my eyes, searching for the truth in case I didn’t give it to him.

“Okay, I guess.” I sighed. He reached out and put his hand on top of mine, reassuring me he was there to listen.

“I’m so sorry, Mads.” I loved it when he called me that. “I shouldn’t have let him take you to that room.”

“It’s not your fault, Jay. I chose to go with him, and I was fine with it at the time. No one knew he would do what he did. I don’t blame you, for any of it, and I never will. If anything, you did a damn good job at fooling him.” I smiled with that last part, trying to bring a light to the conversation.

“It was because it wasn’t really acting. I didn’t want him to take you away from me, we were having such a good time.” He smirked. We both knew exactly what he meant by that.

I chuckled, blushing. “It just threw me off that’s all. When he began to touch me and kiss me, I felt so helpless. I literally just froze, like before.” I trailed off quietly, realising what I had said, turning my head to look at the black TV screen.

“Like before?” Jay questioned, a sad anger lacing his words. I felt tears begin to form and my bottom lip quivered. Without me saying a word, Jay moved closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and inviting me to lay against his chest. I accepted. For the first time, I felt comfortable about telling someone what happened in London. So, I did. And for the next ten or so minutes, Jay listened to me, running his hand up and down my upper arm for comfort when my breath hitched or when I had to stop talking to calm myself before continuing. When I’d finished, I felt like I’d had a boulder lifted off of my chest, one that had been crushing me for years. Silence followed, before Jay quietly said, “I don’t know what to say. I…I’m just so unbelievably sorry. Is that the first time you’ve told anyone?” I nodded. He pulled me closer into his chest, holding me, making sure I knew I wasn’t alone and that he had me.

“What that man did tonight was something Roger wanted to do to me years ago, only Roger wanted to do worse. He was fascinated by the fact no one has ever touched me like that before.”

“Wait, you’re saying you’re a virgin?” I nodded in response. “But, how? You’re breathtakingly beautiful and your personality is stunning.”

I felt my cheeks turning red again. “Thank you. I was just never interested in one-night stands like most of the people in my university, and I never connected with anyone enough to have a relationship with them. Hell, I’ve never even kissed anyone.” I chuckled. Once I started talking, I couldn’t stop. It felt so good just to let everything out.

“Well, we can change that.” Jay smiled, gazing into my eyes then focusing on my lips. I leaned forward, my body’s cravings from the moment I met him being satisfied. I wanted him. I needed him.

He devoured my mouth, my body instantly relaxing and allowing my lips to dance with his. His tongue passed along my bottom lip, begging for permission to enter. I granted it, and soon we were exploring each other’s mouths. I ran my hand through the back of his hair, whilst his caressed my cheek. He bit my lip softly, causing me to moan into the kiss, giving him a window to leave and let his lips travel down my neck, sucking on the spot where it meets my shoulders. “Jay...” I moaned, tilting my head back in pleasure. He made his way back up to my mouth and continued to kiss me until we slowed down and parted, resting our foreheads together. Breathless, we both stayed like that for a few seconds, our eyes closed, enjoying each other’s presence.

When I sat backwards, I stayed still for a while, staring at Jay lovingly as he did the same to me.

“So, what would you like to do now?” He asked, a smile continuing to light up his face.

“Watch the rerun of the Blackhawks game? Then maybe a few episodes of something?” I replied, snuggling up to Jay as he turned on the TV in agreement.

And for the next few hours, there we lay. I was curled up in the nook of his arm, my head resting on his chest in line with his shoulder, my hand place on his thigh. He curled his arm around my torso, his hand landing on my hip and his head rested gently on mine. Perfectly happy.


	6. Chapter 6

I fluttered my eyes open at the hint of sunlight peeking through the gap in the curtains. Still intertwined, me and Jay were both laid in a very similar position on the couch to that we fell asleep in. Slowly turning my head, I admired his face, memorising his features, attempting to fully apprehend how lucky I was to have him in my life. My heart was flooded with happiness when I remembered what happened last night when we got home. Smiling, I checked the clock above the TV. 6:30 am. Plenty of time, seeing as we had to be at work at8. I did have to drop Jay off at home so he could shave and change his clothes, but there was enough time for breakfast.

Carefully, I unlinked myself from Jay, who was still deep in a peaceful slumber, and walked over to the kitchen to make a start on some food. I found some bacon and eggs in the fridge and decided to make scrambled eggs with bacon, shocker. While I was doing the eggs, I heard a shuffle behind me, followed by two warm arms wrapped around my waist from behind and a deep kiss planted at the junction between my neck and my shoulder. I sighed, turning my head to kiss Jay's in response.

"This smells great." He groaned, his voice deeper and gravelly due to just waking up, not that I'm complaining.

"Why, thank you. I was thinking we eat breakfast; I'll go get ready and then I'll drop you at yours around 7:30 so you can get ready too."

"Oh, I have a change of clothes in my car, just in case mine get dirty whilst on a case. I'll go grab them" He replied, pulling away, much to my dismay, and grabbing his car keys.

"Oh okay, that makes this morning a lot lazier." I smiled, turning slightly to face him.

"Won't be long." He said, kissing my cheek and walking towards the door, pulling on his shoes and leaving.

I couldn't stop smiling. It was like everything was fitting into place now I was in Chicago, and I was all here for it. I hadn't been this happy for years, if ever.

I put the finished eggs and bacon on two plates and placed them on the island, ready to be eaten. I sat down and began picking at my eggs, when Jay returned with a pile of clothes in his hands. I smiled and gestured to the plate next to me. He sat, and we ate our food with smiles on our faces, talking about the day ahead.

"I'm gonna have a shower when I'm done." I mumbled through a mouthful of bacon.

"Can I join you?" Jay chuckled, looking up playfully from his plate.

"Cheeky, Detective." I giggled, standing up from my stool and putting my plate in the dishwasher and walking towards the bathroom.

_**Jay's POV** _

Unable to remove the grin from my face, I put my plate in the dishwasher and turned it on, then walked into Maddie's bedroom and began to get dressed. As I was pulling on my shirt, I heard Maddie shout, "Jay Halstead!"

I quickly ran out and towards the bathroom where I was greeted by a sodden Maddie with towels wrapped around her body and her hair. I leaned against the door frame with my hands in my jean pockets, a smirk crawling onto my face when I realised she was okay. The look on her face at first told me she was unimpressed and annoyed, but the corners of her mouth were slightly raised, and her eyes had a lighter nature to them.

Pointing at the dark purple ring at the bottom of her neck, she said, "What the hell is this?"

I attempted unsuccessfully to suppress a chuckle, then I replied, "Well, pairing my excellent detective skills with the evidence of last night..." Her cheeks began to blush as she remembered too. "... I deduce that 'this'..." I walked over to her, planting my hands on her waist from behind and looking at her eyes through the mirror, before kissing her in the exact same spot she pointed at. "... is a hickey."

She bit her tongue in a smile; I knew she did that to stop herself from sighing, but I had other tricks up my sleeve. I looked at her eyes again through the mirror to hint that I also had a burning desire to rip her towel off, then I moved my mouth up to her ear and whispered, "You look sexy in a towel, but sadly, you can't wear that to work." which I finished off with a soft bite of her earlobe. This induced a small moan to escape from her lips, one that she had been so carefully holding in. Then I left the bathroom, satisfied with my teasing, smiling all the way over to the couch.

_**Maddie's POV** _

Jay Halstead. Need I say any more?

I dried my hair and applied some quick makeup to make me look more awake, then I walked through to the bedroom. I had to choose something that would hide the thing on my neck, which I was unable to cover with makeup, but luckily it was in a spot where it wasn't so hard to find something that would do the job. I put on a red and blue flannel shirt and tucked it into some blue jeans at the front. The soft collar covered up the slight tinge of purple that was left on my neck, so I was good to go.

I stepped out of the bedroom and slipped on my shoes, then walked over to Jay and told him we should get going. 


	7. Chapter 7

We walked out of my apartment building, got in Jay’s car and began to drive to the district. You knew you had to say something, but you didn’t know how to say it.

“So, um, that thing last night? I kinda want to keep it quiet for a bit.”

I felt his eyes land on me for a few seconds at a red light, which I then met when I’d built up the courage. I instantly relaxed at the loving smile on his lips and the happiness that radiated from his eyes. “Of course. Does that mean it’s gonna be more than a one-time thing?“ he said with a pretend shocked expression

I lightly hit his arm in response. “Yes, Mr Sarcasm. But I do want to keep it under wraps; I’m last one in so that means first one out if Voight had to choose and I really want to keep my job. But that doesn’t mean I want to sacrifice ‘this’” I moved a hand sporadically side to side to indicate that ‘this’ was our relationship, but I didn’t know what to call it yet.

“I’m good with that. Plus, it’ll be fun to sneak around anyway.” He chuckled, which I also did at the cheekiness of his words. I felt like a silly little teenager with a crush on a guy for the first time.

About two minutes away from the district, I told Jay to pull over so I could hop out. “I’ll see you in there.” I smiled, leaning slightly down to speak through the open window.

“You’re really serious about the sneaking around thing, huh?” He laughed.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you would enjoy it. See you soon, detective.” I smiled, doing a two-finger salute as I walked off along the pavement with Jay passing me in the car seconds later.

I reached the district about ten minutes after Jay and walked inside, saying “Good morning, Sarge.” to Platt as I passed her, putting my pin in the pad at the gate and going up the stairs to the bullpen. It was 7:50am, not everyone was there yet but Jay, Kim, Voight and Kevin were. I said hello to them all and made my way to the locker room to put away my bag. As I was on my way to my desk, I heard Voight call out for me from his office.

“Turner!”

I turned, locking eyes with Jay as I made my way to Voight. “You called, Sarge?”

“Come in, close the door.” I did so and sat when he gestured for me to.

“How are you, after last night?”

“Not bad, a little shaken up but I’m good.”

“Good. I’d like a statement on my desk by then end of the day, but otherwise, if you need anything, let me know.” I realised I was talking to the softer side of Voight now, so I smiled and nodded, thanked him and went back to my desk.

Kim came over and sat on the edge of my desk once I’d settled down, glaring into my eyes like I was being silently interrogated. I smiled, but it kinda creeped me out. “Hey, Kim, use your words, please?”

“I’m trying to gauge how you are, since if I were to ask you, you’re just gonna say you’re fine.”

“That’s because I am. But thank you for checking up on me.” I leaned to my left to grab a file out of my drawer when I heard a gasp from Kim, and I immediately shot back up.

“You have a hickey.” She whisper-shouted at me. I pulled my collar back up, cursing internally that I had been so careless.

“Yeah, um, from last night. Strickland was all over me, remember?” It was the best I could come up with, but Kim was one of the most observant people I knew so that excuse was way too weak.

“You didn’t have one last night when you walked out of the club. So, you got it after.” Dammit. She squinted her eyes at me, attempting to squeeze a confession out of me. I could feel Jay’s eyes burning into the side of my skull, knowing he was enjoying this a little too much. No words were coming out of my mouth, all I could do was gulp.

“You went on a date, didn’t you? Or had someone round to your place?” I couldn’t meet her eyes anymore, and I knew my cheeks were going red. I just laughed; it was all I could do.

“I’m flattered, but I must have just hit it off the bedside table or something last night. I did wake up on the floor around 3am but I didn’t realise I’d hit anything on my way down.” This was one of those moments where you wanted the ground to open up beneath you. I weakly laughed again, and finally looked her in the eye. It seemed like she was satisfied with that lie as she got up and slowly walked back to her desk, her eyes on me until she sat down. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and looked up to see Jay was on the verge of breaking down in laughter. I rolled my eyes at him, realising we were in for one hell of a ride with sneaking around.

***

It was a relatively quiet day; we all just did some paperwork regarding the Strickland case and a couple of us went to go see some Cis, but apart from that, there was little to do.

A few hours into the shift, I got a call from Officer Harrell, one of the patrolmen downstairs, saying he and his partner had found a car we had a BOLO on from last week. I noted down the plate and location, thanked him and hung up.

“Guys…” I said loudly, rising my voice above the quiet work and chatter in the room, which made everyone turn their attention to me and Voight emerge from his office. “Officer Harrell just called saying he’s found the car belonging to Benjamin Leonis, the drug dealer that kidnapped his daughter and has been on the run for a week. It’s parked on Patterson Fork Road in front of Davis’ Hardware Store.”

“Well, suit up. We know how dangerous this guy is, and I want everyone home safe tonight.” Voight ordered. With that we all stood up and made our way downstairs.

***

“Where is he?” Jay asked, his leg bouncing up and down in anticipation. We’d been sat in the car outside of the hardware store for over ten minutes, with Kim and Adam checking both inside the car and in the store, and still no sign. I reached over and put my hand on his leg, steadying it. He looked over at me, to which I replied chuckling saying, “It was annoying me.”

I turned back to face out and examined every person near the store, Leonis’ image burned into my memory. And sure enough, there he was, leaving the store carrying a bag. Jay must have noticed at the same time, as we both sprang into action by getting out of the car. We briskly walked over to Leonis, his back turned to us, giving us the advantage, until he turned around.

“CPD, put your hands up!” I shouted, drawing my gun from its holster and pointing it at him. Jay did the same.

Leonis looked like a deer in the headlights, but soon he dropped his bag and, without a second thought, took off running down an alleyway. We both ran after him, Jay radioing it in behind me. Leonis zig-zagged through little passageways and over fences, but we managed to stay relatively close.

“Split up!” Jay shouted, and he took a right when I carried on straight ahead. I kept on giving updates into the radio, telling the team where we were running. When met with a locked gate, Leonis turned around, looking for any possible escape he had. He began to climb a set of stairs which lead to the roof of a building, but I pulled him down them by his jacket. Slightly off balance, he still managed to throw his foot out behind him and kick me in the jaw, causing me to fall down. He then began to climb the stairs again as I began to pick myself up, a little dizzy from the blow, but luckily Jay was able to get up after him quicker than I was and was right on his tail.

We were running along the roofs, chasing after Leonis until he came to a large gap that he knew he couldn’t make. “Dammit, dammit, dammit…” I could hear him murmur under his breath.

“Game’s over, Leonis. Put your hands up and walk towards us, slowly.” Jay shouted, his gun trained on the figure in front of him, me being his shadow and doing exactly the same. He was right, the game was over, but not fully. Leonis reached to his side and began to pull out a gun, seemingly the only option that gave him a chance at life, as attempting to jump the gap would be a death sentence. That’s when I reacted, putting a bullet into his calf, causing him to drop his weapon and fall over, clutching his leg and writhing in pain.

“Nice shot.” Jay laughed as he began to jog towards the screaming ball of agony in front of us. It was a nervous laugh, along with deep breaths, the marathon we just ran catching up with him.

Not only was I out of breath from the running, but the crash from the adrenaline rush of pulling the trigger was exhausting me. Still I managed to tease him; “I know” followed by a wink as I jogged alongside him, eliciting a chuckle from Jay as he cuffed Leonis.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a few weeks since our first kiss, and honestly, my hunger for Jay grew stronger each day. Although we’d only officially been together for a few weeks, it felt like the rest of my life was nothing compared to the time I had spent with Jay; the picnics overlooking Lake Michigan, the morning runs on the Riverwalk, the movie nights at each other’s apartments. I had adored every second, even though we were sneaking around, but Jay was right, it was a lot of fun. We had been careful, but there had been a few times where we were very almost caught…

_I looked over at Jay, who had been watching me chew my pen for the past minute or so whilst I was doing some tedious paperwork and smiled mischievously. He had worn the light grey Henley shirt that made his muscles that little bit more prominent, especially when he crossed his arms like he was doing now. He knew I loved it, and the sinful smirk he pulled didn’t help in stopping the waves of arousal that were washing over me. I stood up and walked towards the locker room, glancing over my shoulder at him once I was out of most people’s view, sending him a mental invitation to join me. It didn’t take him long before he came around the lockers, where I pulled him towards me by a fistful of his shirt._

_I bit my lip, leaning back against the lockers as he put his left hand on my waist and the other holding my cheek in his palm._

_“You really can’t keep yourself under control, can you?” He breathed into my ear, kissing behind it before working his way down my neck. I moaned quietly at the contact, my cravings only beginning to be satisfied. He pulled away and locked eyes with me, allowing me to see the darkening in his irises, the sparkling green even emeralds would envy allowing the shadows of lust to take over. It was then I felt a knot of pleasure growing in my stomach, so I kissed his lips, soft at first, but it soon began to heat up. I was exploring his mouth with my tongue now, enjoying every taste of him I could get. I felt his left hand move to my arse, squeezing it quite roughly, which caused me to moan into his mouth. We began to move against each other, which allowed me to feel his arousal against my core, fuelling mine even more._

_That was until I heard footsteps walking down the corridor, which caused me to quickly pull away from Jay, which I was very displeased about, and pull my phone charger out of my locker_

_“Hey Maddie…and Jay?” Adam said, a little confused as to why we were together._

_“Oh, hey Adam. Don’t mind us, I was just getting Jay my phone charger so he could charge his. What’s up?”_

_Content with my lie, Adam replied “We got a lead from Kim’s CI, Voight wanted me to find you both.”_

_“Cool, be through in a sec.” Jay said, a smile plastered on his face._

_As soon as Adam was out and away from the locker room, I turned to look at Jay. We both erupted in laughter as quietly as possible, still on a high from both the kiss and almost getting caught._

_“Well then… that was close.” He smirked. I nodded, pecked him on the lips and began on my way back out to the bullpen, swaying my hips a little more than normal as I walked and biting my lip in a smirk as I realised how lucky I was._

It was a fairly quiet day today; we’d caught a case earlier in the week but managed to solve it this morning and get our guy within a few hours of shift starting. So now we were all just sat at our desks, except for Kevin who had gone to meet with a CI, in true fashion. I was typing up some reports on the case which I had been convinced out of finishing by the rest of the team because we were all supposed to be going to Molly’s. It didn’t take much persuading, I must say.

Our whole unit was sat in a booth, laughing away about a silly argument between Adam and Kevin that was still going on after a good five minutes.

“Nah, man, there’s no way you could even say a pumpkin is a vegetable. They make pumpkin pies! For dessert! Since when is a vegetable used in a dessert?”

“You just said it; in pumpkin pie!”

The rest of us were just looking around at each other with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard; these boys were acting like five-year-olds, but it was hilarious to watch.

“Right,” I said standing up, the first words to be spoken for a while from someone other than Adam or Kevin. “I’m gonna need a drink if this conversation continues. Next round’s on me.” With that, I walked over to Herrmann at the bar and ordered another lot of beers and a vodka shot for each of us. As I was waiting, I stood with my side to the bar to watch my group of friends. Wow, how did I get so lucky? It had only been 5 months since transferring from New York, but I feel like I’ve known these lot since I was born we were that great of friends. Not only that, but meeting Jay made me feel like a whole new person, one that is so much more confident and happier every day.

Speak of the devil, Adam must have said a particularly funny line because my eyes were drawn to Jay as he did his signature laugh that could be heard in the loudest of rooms. The unique wheeze followed by a hearty chuckle - one of my favourite sounds in the world. I couldn’t help but grin like a Cheshire cat and look down at my fingers, which I was fumbling over the hem of my shirt with.

“Someone’s happy.” I looked up and was greeted by twinkling brown eyes that were very similar in nature to his brother’s.

“Hey Will.” I smiled and leaned my elbows on the bar.

“Hey Maddie. Didn’t know my little bro could make someone do that.”

“Huh, do what?”

“Smile that much. You’d think you two were dating.”

I foolishly let the shock of his comment show on my face, but it was met with a chuckle.

“Relax. I gathered as much, he doesn’t shut up about you when we’re together, it’s starting to get annoying, if I’m honest.”

“What? Hearing about me? Annoying? Never.” I joked.

“You make him really happy, the happiest I’ve seen him in a while.”

I blushed. “Thank you, he makes me happy too, so it’s a win-win situation, I guess.”

Just then, Herrmann put down the tray full of drink in front of me, which I then paid for and began walking back to my table, but not before saying goodbye to Will.

When I shuffled in again next to Hailey, I realised the argument had stopped and now they were talking about something else.

“Wait, so, you haven’t slept with her yet?” Kevin asked Adam, whilst Hailey just laughed at my surprised expression. What? It was a very abrupt sentence to hear after returning.

“Hey Mads, don’t mind the boys, they’re just talking about the last time they got laid.” She said, laughing.

“Why am I not surprised...” I joked in a monotone voice, rolling my eyes, causing a laugh from the girls and then myself.

“What do you mean?” Jay asked, a smile only his eyes showed as he was trying to remain serious.

“She means…” Kim started, speaking for me whilst I recovered from laughing. “That about 80% of what you guys think about is sex.”

“And 10% of what’s left is about football.” I added, which again us girls laughed at, but this time the boys also joined us.

“Yeah, well, what about you lot, surely you think about it too?” Adam questioned. It was then I felt something running up and down my leg from my ankle to mid-calf. I glanced at Jay, a lustful smirk on his face that he directed at me. I looked away but bit my lip, his teasing causing a desire to grow between my legs.

“Of course, but we aren’t obsessed like you lot.” Kim chimed in response. I could barely giggle as Jay’s foot was so distracting. I fought back, using his own game against him and used my free foot to do the same to him, which was met with a little cough from him out of surprise. We locked eyes once more, this time we both just smiled at each other, feeling mischievous and hoping no one noticed our antics.

“Furball, Jay?” Hailey chuckled.

“He was probably reminiscing about his last time, right buddy? I mean it was so long ago, even thinking about it makes him excited.” Adam taunted whilst nudging Jay’s arm. We all laughed as Jay’s face turned into a shade of red, which he attempted to draw attention away from by swatting Adam’s arm.

“I’m just waiting for the right person, that’s all. I don’t enjoy picking up random ‘Charmaines’ from the club like you.” Jay teased back at Adam, and this time Adam went red. Again we all laughed, but this time I shared a look with Jay for him to let me know that he was talking about me, in the first half, which I thanked him for with a smile.

We all continued laughing and chatting for a few more hours before we all left, eventually, when we were all tired out.


	9. Chapter 9

If there's one thing that I hated about my job, it would be paperwork. I sometimes wish we just got to play cops and robbers and just do that all day and not have to type up reports or recounts of events but unfortunately it just comes as part of the job.

As I was typing up a report for what felt like the hundredth time today, I heard a buzz as the bullpen gate opened followed by the echoes of steps as someone climbed the stairs. After a few seconds, Sergeant Platt emerged holding a gorgeous vase of flowers, containing an arrangement of white freesia and yellow roses held together by beige tissue paper with a white card peeking out. _'My favourite'_ I thought.

"Wow, Sarge, you shouldn't have." Adam says, holding out his arms jokily. Platt scoffed and continued stalking down the aisle before stopping at my desk and smiling at me with her eyes. She had really grown to like me in the five months I've been here, drastically more than the first day she met me, and I had found that the feeling was mutual.

"You must have one hell of an admirer, Turner, because these can't have been cheap." She chuckled.

I couldn't pick my jaw up off the floor, not just because of how beautiful the flowers were but also because they were for me. Platt's presence had caused Voight to get up from his desk and loom near the doorway to his office.

"Wow, thank you for bringing them up, Sarge." I managed to say whilst standing up, taking them from her and placing them on my desk.

"So, what does the card say?" Kim asked as she walked to join me at my desk. Everyone had stood up now, them all either leaning against their own desk or joining me near mine.

I took the card out carefully from the side and flipped it over.

 _"Be ready at 8pm, wearing the outfit in the box that your concierge took in from me. Then I will meet you at your door to take you out for dinner at Cité. -H"_ I read aloud, a smile growing with every word.

"Ooh." Kim and Hailey both sang in unison.

"H? Who's that?" Kevin asked. I could sense a smile in his voice.

 _'H for Halstead'_ I thought. Clever, a 'J' would be too explicit. "Just someone I've been seeing." I offered quietly through a grin whilst running my thumb over the card and sneaking a look at Jay, who was sat leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, a smile beaming on his face.

"Must have been seeing them for a damn long time for him to take you to Cité. Have you seen the menu? It's pricey." Adam stated whilst chuckling.

"What's his name?" Kim asked. Oh god, she was excited now.

"A girl can't reveal all her secrets." I laughed as I held her shoulder to let her down gently.

There were a few murmurs as people went back to their seats, but that was to be expected, of course. I also returned to my seat, but not before taking a chance to smell the signature scent of the roses and the sweet aroma from the freesia. I looked at Jay, who I believe hadn't taken his eyes off me since Platt arrived, and mouthed 'thank you' and smiled, which was returned in the form of a silent 'you're welcome' in the same manner, before we both got back to work. I couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the shift, which was ever so kindly pointed out by both Kim and Adam on numerous occasions throughout the day.

***

I'd just walked through the doors to the lobby of my apartment building when I turned to see my concierge smiling at me. I returned the gesture and made my way over to the front desk.

"Hey Jeremy. I've been told you have something for me?"

"Yes, Miss Turner, I won't be a moment." With that he turns to find it.

"Jeremy, really, call me Maddie. I've told you before." I laughed as he passed over a matte black box with a gold ribbon tied in a bow holding it together.

"Of course, _Maddie._ Have a great night."

"You too."

I walked over to the elevator and got in, admiring the gorgeous gift as I went up. He really was making this special. I guess we haven't been on a proper first date, like a candlelit dinner or a trip to the movies. But, honestly, I didn't need that because I enjoyed simply being at his or my place and spending time with him. Not that I'd decline going out and getting dressed up, because my eyes were in for a treat if he wore anything of similar fanciness that I probably will be. Which draws my attention back to the box; I can't wait to see what's inside.

The doors opened and I walked down the hall to my apartment, unlocked the door and went inside. I put the box down on my bed and began unwrapping it. After peeling back a few layers of lemon tissue paper I was met by a sea of crimson sequins in patterns that mimicked those of waves. I carefully lifted it up by the straps and allowed it to flow down before me. The deep v-neck would leave little to the imagination, and the fact it was practically backless, barring a few straps that crossed and tied into a small bow at the base, meant wearing a bra was completely out of the question. ' _Clever, Mr. Halstead'_ I thought. Sequins cascaded down the dress, which would fall at my feet. And I was completely in love. Jay had chosen perfectly.

I checked the time. 6:15pm. Time to get ready. I took a shower and washed my hair, then stepped out and blow-dried it. I applied some makeup, setting for my normal base and tinted chapstick on my lips but a dark smoky eye to make my blue eyes more prominent. I then curled my hair quite loosely and twisted a few strands from the sides and pinned them together behind my head. I walked through into the bedroom and began getting dressed, settling on a red lacy thong for underneath my dress. I wanted to feel sexy tonight, what can I say? Then I stepped into my dress, pulled the straps over my shoulders and smoothed it down to remove any creases. Looking in the mirror, I definitely felt sexy. The dress was gorgeous, and it hugged me in all the right places, I must say. Jay certainly picked a winner.

I picked out a black clutch bag from my wardrobe along with a pair of black heels. I slipped in my phone and some necessities then stepped into my heels, just as I heard a knock at the door.

I walked out of my bedroom, clutch in hand, and walked to the door, checked through the peephole to see Jay waiting for me, breathed out heavily to attempt to rid myself of my nerves and then opened the door...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you for reading, and sorry for the very slow and inconsistent updates. I am one chapter ahead at the moment, and let me tell you, the mature rating definitely comes into play in the next one ;) So, thank you again, and keep your eyes peeled for the next update!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Warning- towards the end. Enjoy <3

_**Smut Warning - towards the end. Enjoy <3** _

"Woah..."

Such a simple little word had mighty power in bringing a flush to my cheeks, especially when it is Jay who says it.

"You picked well, Halstead. A little cheeky, I might add." I stated through a chuckle, tilting my head to the side as I did. The look on his face of mock confusion showed he understood what I meant, especially when his eyes trailed down my body with a sinful spark that I noticed when he met mine mere seconds later. Only then did I take the opportunity to appreciate his attire; a light blue shirt with the two top buttons undone, teasing his freckle-peppered chest and his broad shoulders were hugged by a dark blue blazer, the same colour as his trousers.

"You look gorgeous." His words snapped us out of the silence we'd fallen into whilst slightly _preoccupied._

"Thanks. You look lovely, too." _Ugh, 'lovely'? Really, Maddie, that's the best you can do?_

My face must be transparent and the low laugh he let out confirmed that. "Thank you. Shall we get going?" He smiles, not just using his mouth but his eyes also, as he reaches out a hand for me to take. I nodded and gently placed my hand in his and we walked to the elevator, butterflies dancing like heavy-footed ballerinas in my stomach. I wasn't nervous about the date, but the reality that we'd be out in public as an obvious couple for the real first time certainly began to sink in. Which wasn't something to be nervous about, but, for some reason, I was. I guess it was just because this was so important and special to me.

We walked out together to his car and got in. We drove in a comfortable silence for the most part, a few small conversations here and there but I wanted to save most of it for while we ate, and I felt Jay thought the same. We soon arrived at the Lake Point Tower, where the restaurant was, walked inside and went up the elevator to the restaurant. The whole time I had my hands holding the crook of Jay's arm, comfortably walking in as one. The waiter took us to our table and I had to stop my jaw from dropping at the view we got from our table. I struggle to think of something more mesmerising than the twinkling lights and alluring silhouettes of the Chicago skyline.

"Wow." I gasped as we sat down.

"Yeah." Jay agrees, the same awe I had apparent in his voice.

"Thank you, for doing this. I'm in love with this night already."

"You deserve it, Mads." The nickname that makes me go weak at the knees every time it rolls off his tongue. "You deserve the world." The twinkle that appears in his eye as he says that send a spark down my spine that resonates in my core. I smile widely in reply, unable to express how I feel in words it was that great of an emotion.

***

Conversation flowed easily throughout the whole night. After finishing, we were stood waiting for the elevator side by side, a little closer than ever before, when I decided to say what was playing teasingly on my mind.

"So, this dress? Why this one?" I tilt my head slightly in a playful manner. The doors opened to reveal the empty elevator and we walked in, his arm brushing mine ever so slightly, but still enough that it sent jolts of electricity coursing through me. He stands ever so lightly behind me on my left.

"Well, the burgundy colour? I remembered how _enticing_ you looked when you wore it on that undercover op. And the low cut back..." He trailed a finger up my bare spine. "...along with the very exposed collarbone..." He breathes into the crook of my neck. "...are your weak spots." He's right there. He places gentle whispers of kisses from my shoulder to my neck, causing me to tilt my head to the right to provide him better access, as a sigh escapes me, the first spill of pleasure I had allowed to leave me tonight, even though it had been growing ferociously since I first opened my apartment door. His right hand finds my waist and he holds onto me, starting to fuel his kisses on my neck more so that they became fierier.

The elevator doors began to open, and he reverted back to an upright stance but still kept a hold on my waist as we left the building. I kept my eyes mainly trailing on the floor as I walked out, knowing my face is flushed due to the desire I struggled to keep from bursting out of me. We walked out to the car, and as Jay goes to open my door I pushed his back up against it and locked eyes with him.

"Two can play at this game, Mr Halstead." I glanced at his lips, then his eyes and back to his lips before snaking my hand to the back of his neck and pulling him towards me, roughly ravaging his lips in a passionate kiss. After a moment of shock, his lips began to move with mine hungrily. He swiftly spun us around so that my back was now pressed against his car, our chests touching so he could probably feel the hardness of my aroused nipples through my dress. Our tongues were dancing fiercely, the kiss being deep and feverish. I moaned into his mouth, unable to contain my pleasure any longer. We grinded against each other, and I could feel his arousal against my core, and if I wasn't wet already, I was definitely soaked now. He pulled away, desperate for air as he laid his forehead on mine.

"We should get home. This is a _very_ public place." He smirked. I nodded, our eyes locked in a trance as I bit my lip.

The drive home couldn't go any slower. Jay had his hand on my thigh as we drove, and his thumb was stroking dangerously closer to my heat every second. I decided some payback was in order, so as we pulled up to a red light I slowly took off my lacy red thong and laid it on the dash, his eyes widening at the sight of it. _But I wasn't done yet._ I placed my hand on his thigh, brushing his covered manhood as I went, earning a small shiver from him.

"I _am_ trying to get us home in one piece, Mads, and you're really not helping." He mutters with a smirk.

"Then contain your excitement, _detective._ And keep your eyes on the road. _"_ I smiled sweetly. The games had begun.

We stayed like that as we pulled up at my apartment block. We both quickly jumped out and soon got to my front door. Less than a second after I closed it behind us, Jay had pulled me towards him and captured my lips in a devilishly erotic kiss.

Jay pushed me up against the door, kissing me breathless whilst pulling a strap down teasingly over my shoulder, my dress threatening to expose my breast. I soon kicked my heels off, then quickly unbuttoned Jay's shirt and removed it, running my hands up and down his biceps to his shoulders before clasping them together behind his neck. Jay then lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his hard on through his trousers, our lips barely parting before finding each other again. He spun me round and placed me on the kitchen island, the cool granite a shock as my legs met it. Only then did Jay pull away, his hand cupping my face as we both caught our breath.

"Do you want to do this?" he whispers lovingly to me.

"Yes, yes I do. I want it to be you, Jay."

"Are you sure? Because I don't want it to feel like I'm forcing you, I'm happy to wait, as long as you need me to." He said sincerely.

"I've never been more sure in my life." I replied with a lustful smirk.

With that, Jay kissed me again, his tongue begging for entry as he swiped it across my bottom lip. Unable to keep control of myself, I immediately granted it, and soon our tongues danced again in a feverish waltz. Swiftly Jay lifted me up off the island, expertly carrying me into the bedroom and lowering me down onto my feet. He pulled at the remaining strap that clung to my shoulder and my dress fell around my feet, leaving me completely nude in front of him.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered in my ear, before nibbling at the base of it. I sighed in pleasure at his touch as I began to undo his belt. Before I could pull off his trousers completely, he picked me up, earning a squeal and laugh out of excitement and laid me down gently on the bed. He began to trail kisses down my chest, smirking up at me before licking a single stripe up one of my breasts, passing over my nipple. I sighed heavily, impatient for more and he could sense it. I knew he wanted this as much as I did. He did it again, and again, and again, alternating between each breast before he caved in and wrapped his lips around my nipple and began sucking, swirling his tongue around it in the process. I bucked my hips into him instinctively, grinding my wetness against his so he could feel how much I wanted him, _needed_ him. At this he began to move lower down my body, placing kisses at each landmark on his journey, stopping at each of my hip bones to nip at them gently. He slowly pushed my legs apart then hovered over his final destination. I could feel a strong pulse down there, my body begging for contact, any at all.

"Tell me what you want." His now deeper and gravelly voice – which was extremely fucking hot – awoke something inside me that had been eager to play. I looked down at his lustful smirk and locked our eyes, his as full of need and lust as I imagine mine were.

"I want you. Completely, entirely. And I don't know how much longer I-" Holy Mother of God. That's when he flattened his tongue against my aching nub, trailing back and forth in long, slow strokes that caused my body to tense with each one. I groaned and entangled my fingers in his hair, desperate for more.

" _Fuck..."_ I breathed heavily, and a small chuckle from him vibrated against my vulva. He sealed his lips around my clit and centred all of his attention to it, which made my head spin even more than it was. He moaned against me, and it sent waves of pleasure coursing through my body. I sank my fingers into his shoulders, holding him in place. His eyes were fixed on my face, reading me, able to tell everything that was going on in my head and reacting to it as he went. He drew lines with his tongue around my vulva, sucking and lapping at different spots to elicit a moan or gasp in a moment of bliss. He seemed to want to learn every part of me as he spent a while tracing his tongue up and down the folds that ran from the crook of my thigh down to the centre of my being. I swear I almost saw stars at the sheer pleasure of that sensation. I'd never felt anything quite like it before, and I let out a moan to make sure he understood just how good this was for me. Words had long-since escaped me, but that didn't matter; I could tell him everything he needed to know with the movement of my body, with the panting harshness of my breath.

I felt the pleasure beginning to build, slowly – he seemed in no rush to get out of there, taking his time and lavishing attention over every inch of me. Sliding his hands beneath my ass, he pulled me further onto him, filling his mouth with me as though he could never imagine getting enough. I had never felt so wanted in my entire life. The way he was feasting on me, it was more than I could take, and if I wanted to last any longer I had to say something.

"Jay...I'm too close..." I panted. Understanding what I meant, he licked one last strip from my entrance to my clit then moved back up to my lips, and I could taste myself in his mouth. I reached down and grabbed his pulsing member through his boxers, desperate to escape its confines, and began stroking it. He moaned into the kiss, and I took this moment of weakness to flip us over so he was now underneath me. I began to work my way down his torso, tracing the lines of his muscles with my small kisses, until I met the base of his hips. Slowly I pulled off his boxers and admired his cock as it sprung free. My eyes went wide. It was perfect.

I wanted him to feel the same way I did, see the same stars behind his eyelids, so I leant down to take him in my mouth. But before I could, Jay flipped us over again, so now he was on top of me and I looked at him, bewildered.

He smiled and leant in to my ear, and whispered, "Tonight is all about you, my angel." He nibbled at my ear, and I breathed out softly.

"Condoms are in the top drawer." I whispered, and he reached out and took one from my bedside table. He leant back up, opened the wrapper with his teeth and then pulled the rubber over his cock. Then our eyes connected once more.

"I'm not going to lie, this will hurt. But you have to trust me. If it gets unbearable, or you want to stop, you tell me, okay?"

I nodded in reply and bit my lip. He smirked, then lined himself up with my entrance. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he slowly pushed himself in. I hissed at the sharp pain I felt at first, and slowly Jay pulled almost all the way out.

"I'm okay." I panted, and with those words he slowly pushed in again. He started off slow, and soon the slight pain was overtaken by waves of pleasure.

" _Fuck,_ you're so tight..." he groaned into my shoulder, and he picked up the pace. I adjusted to him quickly and started to move my hips with his. I looked over his body, veins popping out of his arms as he held me, chest and shoulders broad, abs tensing with each thrust, small marks on his chest from my mouth, and beautiful eyes peering down to where our bodies were connected. I had to look away in fear of losing myself too soon. I felt my muscles tensing more and more with each thrust, then he lifted my leg over his shoulder and soon began hitting the perfect spot.

"Oh my god... _there,_ yes, right there." I screamed in ecstasy as my eyes rolled back into my head and my back arched, and he continued to hit it. His rhythm was beginning to falter and I knew he was getting close, as I was too. My legs were shaking, my walls pulsing around his dick and before I knew it, I was screaming his name as waves of release rose and overwhelmed me, crashing through me like a tidal wave, my nerve endings catching light. This caused Jay to tip over the edge, his groans like a music made for only my ears to hear. I crunched up off the bed and cried out once more in pleasure, balling the covers in my hands as I finished riding the wave. 

Jay collapsed next to me, both of us panting heavily as we curled up into each other, limbs entangling in the process.

"That was..."

" _Amazing_." I finished for him, and we both smiled at each other with nothing but love in our eyes, minds and hearts for one another. 


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up to the golden streams of light flowing through the gap in the curtains, its warmth incomparable to that of the arm snaked around my waist, and the legs intertwined with mine. I opened my eyes only to be met by another pair, ones that radiated kindness and affection.

"Morning." I whispered, a small smile forming on my lips as I remember our night.

"Good morning." Man, his morning voice is like nectar from the gods. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and chastely kissed my lips.

"Ew. Morning breath." I giggled as we pulled apart.

"Well, we best get moving. Can I go take a shower?" He smirked.

"Of course, there's a spare towel on the bathroom shelves."

Suddenly he jumped up, his back turned to me, still nude from the night before.

"Hey," he turned his head around and looked at me questioningly. "Cute butt." I laughed as he rolled his eyes with a smirk and walked to my bathroom, stark naked. I sat up, pulling the sheets up around me as I looked around the room. I couldn't see his shirt anywhere; I was gonna put it on just to walk around in before my shower. Then I remembered. _I took it off him just after we walked in the front door._ Wow. Last night brought a smile to my face. It wasn't just the sex, it was also how we both loved one another without falter all night long, showing just how much we meant to one another.

I continued searching around the room with my eyes and decided on my oversized hoodie that was draped over the chair in the corner. I flung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, then made my way over. I definitely felt sore, but I expected as much. Still, it was worth it. I threw the hoodie over my head and made my way out to the kitchen to start work on breakfast. Toast would be fine; quick and simple.

I was broken out of my thoughts by the harsh ringtone blaring from my bedside table. I went back to the bedroom and picked up my phone.

"Hey Mum."

"Hi, sweetie. It has been a while since we spoke last, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess." I replied nonchalantly on my way back to the kitchen.

"Are you busy? Is this a good time?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's good."

"Okay... how's Chicago, sweetie? And your job?"

"Good, everything's good."

"Are you sure this is a good time? You seem distracted..."

I wasn't distracted. It sounds awful, but I Just didn't care to talk to my mum right now. She has been to busy living her life with Roger to be bothered with me, and I don't blame her. I'm on the other side of the Atlantic ocean, and what with the multiple cruises they go on or events that they go to, she 'hasn't had the time' to visit me, even call me, these last few months. I guess you could say it works both ways, that I could always call or go home to visit, but when your mother constantly talks about her boyfriend's latest achievement or is too engrossed in a fancy dinner with him, the man who wanted to rape you, you don't often feel the urge to pick up the phone for a chat, let alone make the eight-hour flight to see them.

"No, no, I'm just tired. Finally finished a long case earlier this week about a man-"

"I'm so sorry, sweetie, I have to go. Have a good day, love you, see you later!"

"Love you too, mum." I sighed, and was quickly greeted by the dead tone of the end of the call. I laid my phone down and leant my elbows on the counter, holding my head in my hands.

"Hey." He said softly as he places a hand on my shoulder. I look up, embraced by a sympathetic smile. "You okay?"

"Mhmm." I nodded, returning his gaze with a grateful one.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, first time she's called in about a month. They've been busy, I guess." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't know where from, I didn't feel that upset, maybe a little.

"Come here." He whispered, and he enveloped me in a tight hug.

"Thank you. For everything."

"Of course."

We relaxed, and I picked up where I left off and put the bread in the toaster. I turned around and leaned against the counter, looking at Jay properly. He was stood there with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his deep v-line prominent and his muscles more emphasised with the few gleaming beads of water that were littered across them from his shower. If it was possible to have an orgasm from looking at someone, I would have been screaming his name in ecstasy right now.

"No, we don't have time for round two." He laughs. I pout jokingly. "Do you know where my overnight bag is from the other day?"

"Yeah, the corner of the bedroom, near the wardrobe."

" _Wardrobe._ " He chuckles. "You're so British."

"Oh, shut it." I laugh. "Go get dressed, the toast is almost done, and, like you say, no time for round two."

"Aye, aye, captain." He says as he walks off into the bedroom. I finish up the toast and am nearly done eating mine when he re-enters, fully clothed. I finish off my breakfast, kiss him on the cheek as I pass and go to get ready. Half an hour later we're walking out the door, getting into separate cars and making our way to the district.

I arrive first, and as I walk up the stairs to the bullpen I can't help but smile. Today is gonna be difficult, keeping the secret whilst also trying to answer as many of Kim and Hailey's questions so I don't look suspicious, but also because I'll want to describe the night in as much detail as possible. Up to the end of the date, of course.

"Look who it is. Miss ' _I had a fancy date last night and now I can't stop smiling'."_ Adam chimes as I make it to the top of the stairs. Suddenly the rest of Intelligence is now fully alert, ready to either tease me or coax out every detail from me.

"That's me." I shrugged, still with a smile plastered on my face as I walk down the centre aisle on my way to the locker room. I can hear footsteps behind me, and before I can open my locker Kim bombards me with questions.

"So, what was it like? What did the dress look like? How was the restaurant? Did he wear something utterly gorgeous? I bet the view was to die for. Oh, the food! How was it?"

"Woah, calm down." I laughed and turned to see both girls watching me closely. "It was amazing, I have a photo of the dress. The restaurant and the view were both gorgeous and I had an incredible night."

I showed them a photo I took of me in my dress from before I left my apartment. I wasn't really in it when we got back. Kim began gushing about how beautiful it was and my cheeks were beginning to hurt with the constant smile plastered on my face.

"You had sex." Hailey's abrupt statement took me aback.

"What?" I was astonished they'd figured it out this quickly.

"Look at your face! You seem really relaxed and way too smiley, it can't just be from the date."

I've always had a terrible poker face, except when I'm interrogating someone. I wasn't gonna get out of this one without telling the truth.

"Okay, you got me. I did."

Kim's squeal was piercing. I didn't have much time to react before I was being almost squeezed to death in an excitable embrace. Even though I felt suffocated, I was warmed by the enthusiasm both of my friends felt for me; I'd never had anyone like this back in England.

**_Jay's POV_ **

I saw Maddie's car out front, so I knew I arrived after her. I made my way upstairs and found Adam and Kev talking about something. When they saw me, though, they stopped and smiled at me.

"Um, hi?" I greeted them, awkwardly.

"Where were you last night? Didn't see you at Molly's." Adam asked, a grin emerging.

"I had a terrible headache when I got home, so I just stayed in and watched some TV before getting an early night."

"Right. So, if we said that we had photos of you and Maddie walking into the Lake Point tower last night, you'd still say the same excuse?" Kevin chuckled. I could tell I wore a shocked expression, so I quickly tried to cover it up. There's no way they would sit on a stakeout just to see who Maddie's boyfriend is. Was there?

"Yes, because its true. Look, if I wanted to go out with Mads, you would all know about it."

" _Mads."_ Adam mocked me. "Dude, don't lie to us. We've caught you red handed."

I sighed, shook my head and walked over to my desk. "I'm not lying."

"Don't even try that shit. You're face says it all."

I was cornered, but I still couldn't give in that easily. "No, my face says I stayed at home all night."

Hearing the girls' laughter on their return from I assume the locker room, I glared at my interrogators and motioned for them to zip it. Adam sighed in defeat as Kevin ran a hand down his face. Internally, I was now the one wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Morning, Jay." Maddie chimed with a warm smile as she rounded the corner, Kim and Hailey hot on her tail.

"Good morning. How was your date last night?"

Kim snorted before she could attempt to stifle it, causing Hailey to also laugh. Maddie's face went red as she continued on her way to her desk, leaning against it as she glared at her amused friends.

"It was great, thanks for asking."

"Wow, _just_ great? Your face didn't say that as you walked in this morning." Adam said.

"I assume neither did your face last night after it, eh, Maddie?" Kim laughed, unable to control herself.

Oh. They knew. And now so did the whole unit, as a wave of realisation washed over their faces.

"I-um..." Maddie coughed quietly, a little embarrassed about the revelation, but soon regained her composure. "Look, if I wanted to talk about my sex life, I wouldn't dream of doing it right here, right now. So, please, lets just get on with our day, yeah?" Damn, she was sexy when she was determined.

"I agree." A gruff voice from behind her caused her whole body to still like she had become encapsulated in ice. However, the look of horror in her eyes was somewhat amusing.

"We've got a case. Let's get going." Voight bellowed from his stance in the doorway of his office, before walking past all of the entertained faces, down the stairs and out of the bullpen. The rest of the team followed suit, each of them murmuring something to their partners or softly laughing, leaving me and Maddie alone.

The sheer embarrassment on her face was too funny, so I couldn't help but chuckle when she turned to face me.

"Don't you dare, Halstead." She warned, pointing her finger at me but with a playful glint in her eye.

"Well, Kim's right. Your face said more than _it was great'_ last night." I laughed standing up and grabbing my coat. I stopped next to her and whispered in her ear. " _Maybe you could show me again later_." I kissed her cheek as I pulled away, causing her to bite her lip in frustration.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Halstead." She said as we walked down the stairs.

"Then game on, Turner."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I know this might not have been the most interesting, but I needed a filler chapter after the last one. Anyways, thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

“You ever worked an arson case before?”

“Yeah, but only a few. Each _just_ as frustrating as the last.” We had been chasing this guy for a few weeks now, an unknown male who set fire to news reporter’s houses and rigged them with homemade IEDs so that the first responders were put in harm’s way as they tried to help. “Though you gotta admit, it _is_ the cleverest way of killing someone.”

“What?” Jay quickly asked, peeling his eyes away from the road for just a second to cast a pointed look my way.

“Well, all I’m saying is if I were to commit murder, I would definitely set fire to the houses after I’d done whatever I needed to do. Best guarantee of leaving no evidence.” I explained, the nonchalance in my voice along with the casual shrug of my shoulders assuring him I was joking.

“Remind me never to leave you alone with matches…” Jay breathed out, causing me to laugh, before he smiled at me and let out a small chuckle too.

Voight had us all returning to the previous scenes, dating back as far as three weeks, for anything that we may have missed or was new. We were sent to the second house, which belonged to a Samantha Granger, a retired news anchor with a pretty bumpy career. She didn’t make it out.

There were no other major links between her and the other 3 victims, other than they all worked in the news industry and for the same company at the same point around two years ago, but that only narrowed it down to a few hundred articles which our team is still meticulously combing through. The only description of the offender was one given by a neighbour who was taking out the trash when she spotted a man dressed in dark clothing who stood at around 6 feet leaving the third house just minutes before it was fully ablaze.

We pulled up to the house a few minutes after our conversation; a seemingly well-kept suburban, if you ignore the charred front and the half caved-in roof as a result of the fire. As we made our way over, Jay’s radio crackled to life.

“5021 – George, do you copy?”

“Go for 5021 – George.”

“Fire truck company 81 and ambulance 61 has been dispatched to your location.” We looked at each at each other.

“This is 5021 – James, is this a request from Sergeant Voight?”

“Negative, 5021, this is from a 911 call from a payphone in a store, 2217 Oakhill Street.”

“That’s four blocks away.” Jay says in almost a whisper. I look around. There’s no fire to be seen, no one out in their front yard ready to wave down the first responders. And even if there was, the location was _our_ exact address, the one of the house that already burnt down. I turned back to face Jay, and our eyes met, a fleeting panic flashing across his eyes before it is gone in a second.

“I see no signs of anything.” I said.

“Me neither.”

“Should we still go in?”

“Yeah, but stay alert. I have a weird feeling.”

We approached the house, looked in both windows then got out our guns before opening the relatively still-intact door. Jay went first, and I followed, flashlights out. Systematically and almost drone-like, we swept the entire house.

“Clear.” I shouted from the last room before returning to Jay on the landing. “Can you smell gas?”

“Yeah, only faintly though. Might be residual from the fire before.” He replied.

We began to walk around the rooms, inspecting everything. I was in the front room, and everywhere I looked there were remnants of a once happy home; the burnt remains of a well-loved couch, smashed photo frames that had fallen off of the mantlepiece, a scrap of polka-dot fabric hanging from a wire frame which once resembled a toy box. How could anyone possibly feel the urge to kill this woman? A mother, a grandmother, a sister.

But what I found next shows me that someone did have that urge. I’d accidentally dropped my flashlight, which then rolled under the couch. When I knelt down to get it, my hand brushed a wire frame that wasn’t part of the structure.

“Jay!” I called to my partner, who was in the kitchen. I heard his footsteps draw closer as I stood back up.

“Yeah?”

“Look.” I held out the wire frame, turning it in my hand to show it off. Jay had no idea why I was showing him it, so I explained. “A few years back, when I was working with NYFD, we came across this arsonist that was filling a cup with fuel and then putting some kind of oxidising agent underneath, like cat litter or something like that. This looks exactly like it.”

“You should probably radio dispatch, tell them to get someone from OFI here to take a look.”

I nodded in agreement and keyed my radio. “This is 5021 – James, requesting for OFI at my location.” In place of the dispatcher’s voice, the rustling noise of static was all that replied. “This is 5021 – James. Main, do you copy?” Again, static. I looked over at Jay, who was now stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “Try yours.”

“This is 5021- George. Main, do you copy?” The same. Jay lifted his head and we exchanged a worried look. “I don’t like this, Mads.”

“Yeah, me too.”

We stood there for a few moments in silence, looking at each other like the answer to this whole unfathomable scenario was buried deep in the other’s eyes, which made the large explosion and the ceiling falling down on us just that bit more dramatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. Sorry, a short chapter AND a cliffhanger. Also, I might be taking a little break from updating, but not long. Just want to get ahead with the story, and I've also been swamped with work so I apologise. Thank you all, though, for reading and the kind messages!


	13. Chapter 13

Wow. Dust particles hurt like a bitch. Who knew the little speckles were capable of ruthlessly scraping your lungs until you struggle to breathe even an ounce of oxygen? I groaned as I attempted to sit up, taking every morsel of strength I had to fight against the pile of ceiling and other shit that had found a new home on top of my body.

I hissed at the pain, definitely a broken rib or two, but also at the heat from the flames that arose from the scraps of insulation that scattered around me.

Fire.

The place is on fire.

My eyes darted around the room, looking for any signs of movement. Jay had to still be in here. Where was he?

Doorway. Kitchen doorway. I looked over, seeing nothing but a mountain of debris.

“Jay!” My measly attempt at shouting was followed by a coughing fit. Smoke was filling the room now, I surely would have been able to hear the roaring of the vicious blaze if not for the pounding of my own heart in my ears. And the sirens.

Sirens.

That’s it. Truck 81 was on their way. The son of a bitch who phoned them must have planted an incendiary device knowing we were coming. Jay was right to have a bad feeling. God, why was I so stupid to think it was safe to waltz right in. It’s all my fault. I don’t know what I would do if he…

No, don’t think like that. You can’t, not right now Mads. Pull yourself together.

The sirens were loud now. And, there were shouts? They had to be outside. I hauled myself the best I could from out under the rubble. A sharp pain in my chest wasn’t going to stop me. Its not like my rib could, you know, puncture my lung or heart. Of course not. But my foot was stuck. I pulled the best I could but nothing, it wouldn’t budge.

A loud bang came next. I assume the door, if not it was probably my eardrum bursting from the pressure of the blood coursing through my head.

“Fire department, call out!” Ah, Casey. Thank goodness.

“Here.” I coughed – wheezed – out whilst waving my arm around, desperate for my voice to overpower the roaring flames and my arm to not disappear into the billowing smoke.

“Oh my god, Maddie.” I felt arms wrapping themselves around my chest, about to drag me out of his hell.

“Casey… my foot… stuck…” I breathed out. He looked over as I did, seeing a large wooden beam pinning down my ankle. What was probably a few seconds felt like minutes as he assessed his options.

“Kidd!” He called out. I could just about make out the few strips of hi-vis that outlined the figure that appeared in the doorway. “Help me lift this beam.”

They heaved it up, taking each of them every bit of adrenaline-induced strength that they could muster, but I was free. I was being dragged out by Casey before I could even render it.

Jay.

“Casey… it’s Jay…he’s still in there! Near the kitchen doorway!” I screamed, my lungs finding the hit of fresh oxygen like a new drug. My eyes widened at the thought as I looked between Casey and the house. Black smoke. Not long before it flashes over. Not long before it erupts into a ball of fire that will envelope Jay. Not long before it kills the love of my life.

I can see in Casey’s face that no one should go in. His eyes radiate sympathy but also remorse, because it is a likely death sentence for anyone who steps foot in the house from now on.

“No…” I whisper. I don’t even register the rest of Intelligence who have arrived on the scene. I don’t even register Sylvie’s light touch on my arm. “No! Casey, you go back in there and you get him!” I’m shouting now, tears flooding my eyes and breaching onto my cheeks. The captain, my friend, that stands before me shows no signs of movement. Just sorrow, pity, empathy. “No! You get him! He can’t die! Casey, please, please, I can’t lose him. I love him! Please!” I screamed. I broke down. I must look in quite a state – psychotic, even – with my limbs flailing about and plaster in my hair, but I don’t care. I try to run forward, to go in myself, if not to save him then to die trying, but I was restrained by two warm arms that were wrapped around my thrashing body. But they weren’t the arms I loved, they were Adam’s, who pulled me into him so I was breaking down in the confines of his arms. I couldn’t lose Jay, I hadn’t told him I love him yet. He helped me treasure life again, and every day I was reminded how lucky I was when I woke up in his arms. But now, I can’t imagine my future without him in it. The unit, his friends, can’t lose him. Will can’t lose him. The world can’t lose Jay Halstead.

“Let’s go! We have thirty seconds.”

The shouts cause me to lift my head out from where it was buried in Adam’s shirt to see Casey and Kidd running in. It felt like a million years passed before I saw them re-emerge, dragging the limp shell of a man behind them. “We need a gurney!”

Brett and Foster sprinted over, meeting the heroes at the closest point that it was safe. Jay’s body was flopped onto the sheet, and he was being pushed towards the ambulance. Adam loosened his grip on me, allowing me to run over as fast as my weakened legs and sprained ankle would let me.

“Partial thickness burn on his upper right calf, definite dislocated right shoulder and a left pneumothorax. I need to aspirate it.” Brett relayed to Foster. He’s alive; his eyes are closed, he is out cold and he’s wheezing. But he is alive.

By now, Foster has cut open his t-shirt and Brett has just aspirated his lung. Now I’m focusing on the scratches and light burns that his chest has adopted, but I’m finding myself paying special attention to the constellation of freckles on his skin, each one just waiting to be kissed. He’s okay.

His coughing brings me back to reality. One of my hands laces itself in one of his and my other is holding his face. “Jay?” His hand squeezes mine as his eyes flutter open, struggling to focus at first but soon locking on to mine. We shared a moment that could never have been matched; one that moved mountains, oceans, worlds and galaxies, all with just one look. “Hey there, sleepyhead.”

“Hey, angel.” He coughed out, a smile growing on his lips. “Mads, you really gotta go easy on the dry shampoo.”

I laughed, but I could feel tears threatening to leave their boundaries. He’s really okay. I leaned down, and our lips locked in a kiss that was full of love for each other, full of relief and gratitude that didn’t need to be spoken, having now been relayed through one look and one touch.

I could hear the cheering as it erupted. The inevitable had happened; our secret was out. I rested my forehead on Jay’s to delay the moment, but soon lifted it to face our family. Kim was smiling, hands clasped in joy, Hailey’s were stuffed in her jacket pockets as she nods with a grin, Adam and Kevin were stood looking smug with crossed arms, the rest of our friends gave an array of celebratory laughs, smiles and claps. And Voight, as soon as I met his eyes he smiled, not as beaming as the others but more accepting. He nodded, which I reciprocated. My tears were now streaming, trickling down my face in streams of delight.

“C’mon, lovebirds, we need to get you both on oxygen then off to Med.”

So now the whole world knew, but I don’t care; I had my whole world in my arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hey, it has been a while. I'm still swamped with work, but I just needed to update for you guys. However, updates are still gonna be a little slow, so sorry about that. Hope you enjoyed this one! Please give kudos and comment, it really motivates me and means a lot.


	14. Chapter 14

To say I was relieved when I got changed out of my plaster-covered and blood-stained clothes and into the hospital gown that didn’t house the lingering smell of smoke would be an understatement. Even though I had scrubbed every inch of my skin and washed my hair more times than necessary, I could still catch a hint of the soot and fumes that reminded me constantly of the death-trap we had narrowly escaped from.

To be honest, if not for strict orders to be checked over and then to clean myself off from Natalie, I would be sat at Jay’s bedside, still covered in remnants of the building, my mind entangled in thoughts about what ifs and whys, my whole body not moving apart from my thumb gently stroking the back of his limp hand.

But I wasn’t, I was sat up, cross-legged in my hospital bed, connected to an IV of fluids like a car in need of refuelling. It was here that I was trapped in the prison of my mind.

The rest of Intelligence had come to see me earlier. Apparently, the doctors were still pricking and poking Jay so they left them to it. I think Kim could tell I needed some space, so they were quick to leave, saying they needed to go do some digging into what the hell it was that happened.

I felt guilty, to say the least. If I’d have let Jay go off of his gut feeling we wouldn’t be in this mess. It would have been my fault if he was stripped prematurely from this world, leaving behind grieving brothers and sisters, his whole family, who would blame me as much as I’d blame myself. I mean, I would deserve it. Only I could fuck up so many people’s worlds by killing the love of my life.

Before I even realised it, I was up, limping down the corridor barefooted in a hospital gown that hung from my shoulders, dragging an IV pole behind me. Soon I made it to his room, and I peered in through the window; if it wasn’t for the machine hooked up to him that was beeping quietly but steadily, you may have thought he was dead. He was that debilitated, with his limbs laid straight, outlining his body, his eyes closed and his lips, that seemed paler than usual, the only island in the vast ocean of ghastly white that had replaced his face.

I walked in and sat down on one of the chairs placed next to his bed. I scooted it closer then took his hand in mine, interweaving my fingers so I couldn’t let him go. Just the feeling of his skin was enough to set off my crying. My body was wrecked by silent sobs, my shoulders shaking as I let go of the tears that I’d held back. I laid my forehead on the mattress, trying to regain my control but it was to no avail.

All it took was a squeeze of my hand and my head shot up, tears still staining my cheeks as I looked at Jay through bloodshot eyes. Etched in his face were marks of worry, mirrored by the words that escaped his lips: “What’s wrong, my angel?”

Angel. I felt as if I was the complete opposite now. How was I supposed to answer him?

“I don’t know, I guess, um, everything’s catching up to me.”

“That’s not it. At least not all of it.”

I shrugged. I can’t say anything without sounding selfish, and let’s be fair, now is not the time, with Jay being the one laid down in a hospital bed.

“Why can’t you look me in the eye, Mads?”

He was right. I can’t bring myself to get lost in his beautiful, sapphire orbs. I didn’t deserve it.

“Mads?”

I was fully crying now, so I had to look up to force the unshed tears back to where they came from, before I could look at him. I kept on stroking his hand with my thumb, drawing small circles on the back of it. I don’t know whether it was to soothe myself or him, but I didn’t care. I looked at him, and I could see the concern he held in his gaze.

“I’m sorry.” I managed to whisper.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“No, I do. It’s my fault we went in, you said you had a bad feeling and I pushed for us to continue. I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if…”

“Oh, Mads. Come here.” He said softly, shuffling over in the bed and holding his arms out. Tentatively, I joined him, curling into his side as he held me, with it being him now drawing the circles with his hand in the small of my back.

“Last time I checked, you didn’t place the IED in the house, and you didn’t force me to do anything. I trust you, and I know you have my back like I have yours. There’s no point dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ because they didn’t happen. I’m okay, and you’re okay, and the world hasn’t stopped turning, so we’re good. If we were walking into a stash house, or even a day-care centre, for God’s sake, I could have a bad feeling. It doesn’t mean its right. And if every time our gut told us to turn around and run when going in somewhere, we’d never get our job done, and we’d have picked the wrong career path.” His soft words were ended with a chuckle.

I finally managed a small smile as I lifted my head to meet his eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No, if anything, I don’t deserve you. You bring out the best in me, Mads. I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy before you.”

This time the tears that welled up in my eyes weren’t from guilt or sadness, but from the overwhelming love that coursed through my veins for this man. And I wouldn’t consider myself an overly emotional person, but he meant so much to me that he could bring me to tears. “Neither do I. You helped me enjoy life again.”

“I love you, Madeleine Turner.”

“And I love you, Jay Halstead.”

And with that he leaned down and met my lips with his, kissing me with so much love I questioned for a second if my heart would spontaneously combust. After a few moments, we pulled apart, smiles lighting up our faces.

“So, what’s up with you, then?” I asked him through a smirk.

“Oh, you know, my spleen’s currently bleeding but they think it’ll stop on its own, stubborn little bastard, but apart from that I’m just peachy. You?”

I chuckled at his sarcasm. “Observation, mainly. I’m supposed to be in my own bed, resting, but it’s a little cold in there. Thought I’d use you as a source of heat.”

He scoffed. “That’s all I am to you? A heater?”

“I mean, if it’s any consolation, you’re a good one.” I said as I held back a laugh and nuzzled further into his side. I looked up at his face; he was feigning a look of astonishment, but the corners of his mouth were tugged upwards and I couldn’t help but laugh, and apparently neither could he.

“You should get some rest, my angel.” He whispered as he moved slightly to get more comfortable, still drawing the circles on my back. All I could do was hum, as I was already halfway there, between the draining events of the day and the calming nature of his touch that lulled me into a blissful sleep.

***

Softly, I awoke, still wrapped in Jay’s arms but now there were mumbles and whispers that filled the room. I slowly opened my eyes and began to twist to see who was here.

“Hey there, Maddie” Kim’s voice was the first I heard properly, and with the other stopping suddenly I knew I had interrupted something. I finished turning and sat up, being met with Kim, Voight and Kevin stood at various points around the bed. A quick glance to my right and I found Jay, also awake, but seemingly more so than I was.

“Hey, what did I interrupt?” The atmosphere changed faster than a chemical reaction, like my words were the energy it needed to occur.

“They were just talking about what happened back at the house.” Jay explained. Oh. Right. I looked around at the people in the room to continue on from Jay.

“We know who planted the IED: some kid messing about it his backyard made one, then planted it in that house to test it. Guess he must have thought no one would care if it had already burned down. But then you two showed up, he got spooked and ran, but his guilty conscience made him call 911 to send a truck company to the house. Some cameras from the local store caught him calling, then we used facial rec to identify.” Voight said.

“But, the radio jammers?” I asked, looking at each of the team and then to Jay. Everyone but him had a confused look on their face.

“I was going to say that, but then you woke up.” He said, before turning back to the team again. “Before the explosion, our radios wouldn’t work. Mads found some evidence, which explained how the arsonist started the fire, so we tried to radio in to get OFI on the scene but neither of our radios would work. Surely the kid wouldn’t have used radio jammers, I can’t see where or why he’d get his hands on them.”

“Maybe they were left over from the previous fire?” Kim suggested, earning a nod of consideration from Voight.

“None were found, but they may have been well hidden if these weren’t found either. But there weren’t any reports of trouble with the radios from the truck companies that showed up at each scene.” Kevin added.

“Well, you two should go check out the second house, and I’ll send Upton and Ruzek to the third.” Voight ordered.

After a nod from each of them, Kim and Kevin said their goodbyes and left, leaving me, Jay and Voight in the room. ‘ _Here goes nothing’_ I thought.

“I’m sorry, sarge, we should have told you from the start…” I began to apologise.

“How long?” He asked. But not angrily. Good start.

“About three months.” Jay confessed. Again, there were no signs of fury from our boss, just a simple nod and a bite of his cheek.

“I have to say, from the moment you two met, I assumed putting you as partners wouldn’t have been the best move in avoiding this,” he gestured between us with one of his hands. “Seeing as you two look at each other like blind people finally seeing for the first time. And I expected it to impact your focus. But something told me that I should at least see how it plays out and I must confess, you have proved yourselves to be one of the best duos in our unit. So, I will say this once, if either one of you lets your relationship affect your job, you will be split up immediately. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sarge.” We both said in unison. And with that, he left the room.

“Wow.” Jay murmured after a moment of silence. I assume he was struggling to believe that just happened, because I sure was.

“I know.” I said as I turned to him. “That was quite a simile, eh?”

He laughed, knowing exactly what I was talking about. And I have to say, Voight wasn’t far off. Every time I look at Jay, he instantly warms my heart. He carries about this aura that once it so much as brushes past you, you’re instantly soothed and everything seems that little bit brighter. And apparently, I seem to have a similar effect on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hey, so I'd like to know if you want me to finished going through this case or just mention a brief summary at the start of the next chapter, because I'm ngl I'm struggling here to make it up. I think I'll be focusing on their relationship more than anything, and I also have some more twists coming up that will make sure this doesn't get stale too quick. Anyways, let me know in the comments what you decide and I'll do my best either way.


	15. Chapter 15

It had been a few weeks since I’d been discharged, and Jay was let out a couple of days after me. We, as a unit, caught our arsonist. Turns out he was an ex-soldier who was stuck in a delusional state after a fire killed his wife and child, blaming the slow response of a truck company for all his pain and suffering. Every reporter who had been a target had written at least one article praising first responders, which, let’s be honest, is rarer than it should be, but I guess bad news sells.

I was laid on the couch, curled up into Jay’s side with his arm around me, his hand caressing my arm as we watched a movie. If you had asked me what it was about, I could tell you it was an action movie, but that was about it. My mind was elsewhere.

As if sensing me being in another world, Jay paused the TV and shifted himself so that he could hug me and look me at the same time. “Talk to me.” He said after pressing a kiss to my hair.

I sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about him. He just did what he thought was right, you know? All he knows for months is a warzone and is left with PTSD, which, let’s be fair, the country he so diligently fought for does fuck all to help with. And when he comes home, his family is ripped from his grasp, which was out of his control, and then he gets stuck in a delusion. And we’re throwing him into jail for the rest of his life. And fair enough if he was a stone-cold serial arsonist, but the guy was doing what in his head was completely justifiable. I know Voight’s pushing for him to go to a mental health institution instead, but what attorney is gonna agree to that when all they see is a murderer and an easy win. It also doesn’t help when I feel like I’m crazy because I’m so desperate for this guy to get some help when he’s spent weeks murdering innocent people.” I was crying at this point, but it wasn’t the type of crying you could hear in my voice, more just tears of anger falling with every sentence.

I could feel Jay hold me tighter before he replied. “That’s why I love you. In these types of cases, you don’t see a criminal, you see a person, troubled so greatly they were driven to do what they have. And I feel exactly the same with this one.” He swallowed before continuing. “When I came back from overseas, I struggled with PTSD and I couldn’t accept that I needed help. I didn’t have a family, really, to fall back on. Will was in New York, my father was an ass and my mother was dead.” I placed my hand over his and squeezed, to let him know I appreciate him telling me this. He struggled to open up, I knew that, but every glimpse I got into the mind of Jay Halstead was enough for a lifetime for me.

“I could have fallen down the road of drink and drugs, I almost did, but instead I was lucky and I dedicated all of my time to the academy. Becoming part of the force gave me that sense of family again, like it was in Afghanistan, especially becoming a part of this unit. And Erin came into my life.” He tailed off at the last part. He’d spoken to me about Erin before, only little parts because I could see it was still painful for him. He was over her, and I knew that, but he was still healing from the way it shook his reality, messed with him as a person. “My mental health took a hit after that. I had been managing my PTSD really well up until then, but when she left it felt like I was knocked back down to where I was before. I made bad decisions, hid things from everyone and I never felt _happy._ I knew I had the rest of the unit, but it also felt like I had no-one. It was like a downwards spiral, and I never truly recovered from it.”

“You aren’t alone, Jay. We all care about you, I care about you. I’m here for anything you need.”

“I know, and when you came into my life it was like I discovered happiness again. You light up my world, Mads, but I’m terrified that I’m gonna frighten you off, and I don’t know if I could cope if I lost you, however selfish that may sound. All it takes is a bad case and I’m having nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night punching a pillow because I’m thinking it’s someone trying to kill me. I can’t put you through that, and I can’t expect you to deal with it.”

I sat up straight, trying to look him in the eye but he wouldn’t shift his gaze from the floor. “Jay?” I held his face with my right hand, encouraging him to look at me. He wouldn’t. So I straddled his lap, and held his face with both of my hands. When he finally looked at me, I gave him a small, comforting smile. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m with you, Jay, and I always will be. Anything you need, whether it’s sitting in silence, holding each other, or listening to you rant whilst you pace around the room, I’m with you.”

I could see the glassy sheen to his eyes, one that didn’t make an appearance often but when it did, it was sincere. Diving deeper, I could see how much my words meant to him, and every single syllable that had left my lips was genuine.

“Thank you.” He murmured.

I leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before we enveloped each other in a hug so tight you’d think we were scared it would be the last time, but really we just wanted to hold each other for support. It was moments like these that reassured our relationship, not that we needed it reassuring. I loved this man with my entire being, and I felt equally as loved by him. Be it the little things, like fluffing up the other’s pillows before climbing into bed or texting to ask if they got home safe, or the larger gestures like planning an unforgettable date to brighten up their week or cooking their favourite dinner after a hard day, we both knew the other loved us unconditionally.

And we just sat there, caught in each other’s embrace for who knows how long, just listening to our steady breaths and feeling our beating hearts, glad to be alive, and grateful we had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, looks like I'm gonna have a lot of free time on my hands now, what with the coronavirus shutting everything down. I will try my best to get these chapters up for you all to do my bit in distracting you. I know this one is a little shorter, but I think we all need some fluff right about now. Thank you for all the reads and kudos, and as always, feel free to comment reviews, suggestions, thoughts, etc as they really motivate me. But also, stay safe out there. X


	16. Chapter 16

“You look so hot between my legs.” I breathed out, the high from my orgasm finally wearing off. It’s official, morning sex is my favourite.

My comment earned a chuckle from Jay, who was spooning me from behind and occasionally pressing little kisses on various parts of my shoulder. Before he could say his witty reply, my alarm started blaring. With a groan, I reached out and turned it off, before throwing my head back onto the pillow and sighing in frustration. Jay began getting up, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down onto the bed and gave him as passionate a kiss as I could. I trailed my fingertips up his thigh, attempting to deepen the kiss whilst I stroked his still-hard cock. He moaned in pleasure, but soon pulled back, which I pouted at.

“As much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day and continue this, we have a job to do.” He smirked as he got up, for the second time.

“That’s right, gotta go _save_ the city!” I said sarcastically, whilst flailing my arms about to make a point. He just continued to smile at me. “Hey, stop staring at my tits and go get ready.”

He continued to chuckle as he walked into my bathroom, his toned back and muscular legs sending another wave of heat to my core. I breathed out heavily and rubbed my eyes. God, how nice would it be to have round two right about now? Pretty fucking nice, I’ll tell you that.

***

“You better not be eating one of those cupcakes, Halstead!” I called out from the bedroom as I finished brushing my hair. I then walked out, finding him leant against the kitchen counter with a coffee in hand.

“I’m not stupid, I know it’d be a death sentence.”

“Ding ding ding.” I said as I walked towards him and the coffee machine to pour some in my to-go cup. I’d baked cupcakes last night to take to Firehouse 51 as a thank you for pulling us out of the fire and taking care of us, but ever since they’d come out or the oven, Jay has been begging me for ‘just one’. In fact, even before they went in the oven, he was begging to lick the spoon like an overexcited child. I’ve gotta say, it was cute, even if his multiple attempts at doing so were a little frustrating.

Once I’d finished pouring the coffee, we both collected what we needed and left my apartment. Outside, we walked over to our cars, which were parked next to each other.

“See you at the district then.” He said, and I nodded, before we kissed each other goodbye and drove off.

It didn’t take me long to reach the firehouse, but when I did, I was pretty disappointed to cut short my ‘jamming out to the radio’ session. I jumped out of the car, cupcakes in hand, and made my way up the drive. Walking out onto the bay floor, a wave of nostalgia hit me. There’s something about diesel fumes mixed with the lingering smell of smoke that makes it imprint into your mind along with all memories associated with it.

Squad wasn’t at their table, so I assumed they must all be having breakfast in the common room. I took a little time to admire the grandeur of the trucks, admiring their proud stance. It’s almost as if they emulated the feelings of the onlookers when they see the heroes do their duty. I continued on, took a deep breath before entering then went through the double doors.

I stood in the doorway of the common room for a few moments, taking in the view ahead. Gallo and Ritter were both working - more friendly bickering than working, if I’m honest - on breakfast, Mouch was in his natural habitat on the couch with Herrmann by his side, Sylvie, Emily and Stella were chatting at the round table and Squad and the rest of Truck were sat at the main table; some talking, some playing cards, some reading.

“Hey, guys!” I spoke up, causing over a dozen pairs of amiable eyes to point in my direction.

“Maddie! It’s so good to see you!” Sylvie said as she dashed towards me with open arms, closely followed by the other girls, and I was soon encapsulated in a group hug.

“It’s good to see you all, too. Sorry we haven’t swung by Molly’s in a while, we’ve been swamped with that arsonist case.” I replied as they all pulled back.

Matt was next; he smiled warmly before wrapping his arms around me in a hug, then said softly in my ear, “How are you doing?”

If I had to name the person I’d grown closest to since moving to Chicago, it would be Matt (apart from Jay, of course). I had never had a brother, or even any cousins, but with him I felt like he was there for me no matter what, and it was definitely reciprocated. I enjoyed the playful banter and the teasing, especially about his love life. He told me about Gabby, and how she left him over a year ago now, and how he was heartbroken and lonely. They had been together for roughly four years, had a child, gotten married, and planned to grow old together. But ultimately, he told me of how they grew apart, how they both wanted different things and how he was now perfectly happy in his life. Well, maybe not _perfectly,_ but he hadn’t admitted it to me yet. Him and Sylvie, in my eyes, are meant to be together. They are such good friends, and the little awkward tension between them is undeniably adorable. According to Emily and Stella, this had been going on for just under a year, and I honestly don’t know how nobody has screamed in their faces to get together yet. I know I sure want to.

“I’m good, thanks. So is Jay. Speaking of, I know I’m a little late, but I brought these to say thank you for saving our arses.” I said, lifting up the tub of cupcakes I had brought. Stella swiftly took them from me with a gasp, earning a laugh from all of us.

“Oh. My. God. These smell amazing, Maddie!” Stella said as she opened the tub and inhaled the chocolate scent.

“Thank you. I hope you all enjoy them. I’d best be going…”

“Don’t you want to stay for breakfast? There’s plenty and it’s nearly done.” Sylvie asked.

“Yeah, you’re welcome to stay.” Severide added, which was followed by murmurs of agreement and smiles from the rest of the crew.

“Um… I’ll have to check with Voight first, I’m due in to work soon, but I’d love to. Give me a sec.” I said as I pulled out my phone and walked out into the empty corridor to call my boss.

_“Voight.”_

“Hey, Sarge. I’m at Firehouse 51, I was just dropping by to say thanks for helping out in that fire a few weeks back- “

 _“I know, Halstead told me.”_ He interrupted.

“Well, is it okay if I stay for a bit? Thirty mins tops, and if we get a case I’ll meet you there?”

“ _Fine. Only thirty minutes.”_

“Thanks, Sarge. See you later.” I hung up, then walked back in. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as everyone was awaiting the verdict.

“I can stay.” I laughed, then cheers and applause erupted around me like I had won an award. I loved this family.

***

“Earth to Sylvie…” Emily cooed. Us four girls were sat at the round table, finishing off our breakfast in light conversation. Except one person seemed to be in a different world, watching a certain blonde firefighter joking around with his friends at the other table, seemingly enjoying the way his already-fitted, white shirt got just that little bit tighter every time he laughed.

“Hey, Sylv?” I said this time, clicking my fingers in front of her eyes. She jumped a little, obviously startled out of her daydream, which caused us all to chuckle a little. Realising she was caught, her cheeks tinted pink quite quickly.

“Why don’t you ask if he wants to go see a movie or have breakfast with you after shift?” Stella suggested.

“What? No. That’s crazy. He’s probably busy anyway, he usually has a construction gig after shift.”

“Don’t start on another fantasy, Sylvie. I know you’ll start imagining him in the sun, wearing a white vest top, showing off his muscles as he hammers a nail into some wood, sweat glistening on his chest.” I said in a jokily-seductive voice, earning a giggle from the other girls and a frustrated sigh from Sylvie before she too found the humour in my joke.

Finishing my breakfast, I stood up and took my plate over to the counter, then walked back over to my chair to collect my coat. On my way, I noticed Gallo sat at the long table cleaning a nozzle.

“Ah, an Elkhart brass nozzle. Is that a 75/100?” I asked him.

Looking up at me in shock, he replied, “Yeah, it is. How did you know?”

By this point, everyone’s attention was on us. I shrugged. “I did my training up in New York. I was undercover, trying to get to this big-shot dealer who had a tight-knit group, and the easiest way to get to him was through his sister who was in the fire academy. I went, trained with her in the same class, became really good friends and so she introduced me to her brother. Long story short, I had a fake relationship with him whilst posing as a firefighter and we were able to take him down. Now, they both hate my guts. But I learnt a new skill thanks to it, and I loved my time as a firefighter.”

“Wow. Well, we’d love to have you on for a few shifts, see if you’ve still got it.” Casey smiled.

“I’d like that. Anyways, I’ve gotta be going. Thanks for breakfast, enjoy your shift everyone!” I said, which was replied to with a mix of goodbyes and see you laters, then I left the firehouse with a smile on my face.

I have actually missed being a firefighter; the family you have in the firehouse, the rush of adrenaline mixed with the heat of the flames. It would be nice to have that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment!


	17. Chapter 17

It was a few days later, and after talking with both the chief and Casey, I was on my way to the firehouse to sign the necessary paperwork for me to do a few shifts when I’m needed. About five minutes away, I began to have the strange feeling that I had forgotten something. Like, something _really_ important. I soon brushed it off and continued on, still having a slight uncertainty buried in the back of my mind.

I pulled up to the firehouse, got out of my car and walked in. Casey was out on the apparatus floor, holding a clipboard and circling his truck.

“Hey Case!” I said, startling him a little as his back was turned towards me. I giggled as he turned around.

“Man, Maddie, you scared me. You’re here to see Boden, right?”

“Yup.” I nodded, stuffing my hands in my jacket pockets.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you there.”

We chatted a little before we made it to the chief’s office, which included him inviting me to stay for lunch, to which I agreed. Casey knocked on the door, causing the chief to lift his head from his paperwork, then opened it up.

“Hey, Chief. Maddie’s here to see you.”

“Ah, yes. Come in.” Boden smiled as he stood and put his hands on his hips.

I walked in, saying a small goodbye to Casey who then shut the door behind me. Boden pulled out some papers from his drawer and placed them on my side of the desk.

“Read over them, if you’d like, but its only restating what we discussed over the phone. Then sign where it says.”

“Sounds good to me.” I said, smiling, then picked up the pen and began signing.

***

After my lunch break, I returned to the district to find everyone sat at their desks either doing some forms or typing up something. The mood seemed fairly light, surprisingly since we had just finished off a few days ago a pretty heavy case involving the rape of a little boy, but there was one smudge on it. Jay was sat with a face like thunder, his knee jumping up and down frantically and he wouldn’t look up to smile at me like he usually would as I enter. _‘Maybe he’s still upset over the last case. It really got to him,’_ I thought. _‘But he was fine this morning, wasn’t he?’_ Even as I approached his desk he continued to stare at his screen, something clearly causing his rainy demeanour.

“Hey, babe, would you like some coffee? I was thinking about going to…” I asked in an attempt to gauge his mood. Only before I could finish, he was up and stalking towards the locker room. I stood there stunned for a moment, before slowly turning around to see everyone’s eyes on me. “Um…did I do something wrong?”

I was met with shaking heads. “He’s been like that for the past twenty minutes. No idea why.” Hailey spoke up, looking at me apologetically. As I was about to go after Jay, Voight came out of his office.

“We caught a case. Armed robbery down on Kensington and Walsh. Two witnesses are en route to Med, so Turner, you and Halstead meet them there. The rest of you, we’re going to the scene.”

Everyone jumped up from their chairs, grabbed their coats and began making their way down the stairs. I continued towards the locker room and almost bumped into Jay, who had emerged and was storming down the corridor towards me.

“Voight said-“

“I heard.” He said coldly, not looking at me once as he walked past.

I sighed, dragging my hand down my face as I chased after him. This is gonna be a long day.

***

As we pulled into the parking lot at Med, the silence that ensued after getting into the car had still not been broken. I glanced to my left. Jay’s eyes were still as fixed as stone on the road, his expression equally as hardened.

“Jay, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Silence.

“Jay?”

“Just peachy.” He said, rather loudly, as he pulled to a stop and got out of the car. I followed suit, then jogged to catch up with him. We walked into the ED and towards Will, who was reading something on a computer screen before he looked up and saw us approaching.

“Hey bro, hey Maddie, I assume you’re here- “

“The victims from the armed robbery. Where are they?” Jay snapped.

After a mild shocked expression washed over Will’s features, he looked between Jay’s stern and my apologetic face then replied, “The male, Joseph Addlington, died in the ambulance, but the female, Sophie Dean, she was rushed into surgery. You’re welcome to wait in the waiting room. Second floor.”

And with that, Jay was off, charging towards the elevators.

“Sorry.” I murmured to Will, who waved his hand in a gesture to say it wasn’t my fault. Now quite irritated, I went over to the elevators, one of which was now open with only Jay inside.

I got on and stood beside my partner, waiting until the doors closed before turning to him with my arms crossed. “Right, out with it.” That earned me a slightly surprised glance from Jay, but then he quickly turned back to drilling holes into the metal doors with his eyes. “Well something is obviously bothering you, so what is it?”

“You forgot about our lunch date.” He murmured, not moving apart from his lips.

That’s when it hit me. I knew I had forgotten something. He had planned for us to go to my favourite diner for lunch today, something he organised at the start of the week, and I just didn’t turn up. Immediately feeling remorseful, I said, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I…I just completely forgot. I was so focused on signing the firefighter paperwork, it slipped my mind. I’m so, so sorry.” I moved to put my hand on his shoulder, but he stepped away.

“No, it’s fine, I bet you had a great time with your firefighter pals. God, if you love Casey so much, why don’t you just get with him already?”

 _‘Okay, a little jab, but he’s annoyed, let him have it’_ I thought. “Honestly, Jay, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. He asked me if I wanted to stay for lunch and I agreed. I just wanted to see him and Severide and Sylvie and the rest of them. But I truly am sorry, I’ll sort it out for another day, I promise.”

“Ooh, Severide now, too. Be careful, they’ll start thinking you’re a whore.” He said, snidely. His words were sour, and as soon as they left his mouth, I could see the regret in his eyes. My jaw dropped, but I soon regained my composure.

“Wow, too far. Look, I’m sorry that I missed lunch. But don’t you dare even say that, just because I wanted to spend some time with my friends. I get that you’re mad, but you don’t get to call me a whore for it.” I shouted.

Before he could reply, the lights in the elevator flickered before the whole thing shuddered and came to a stop.

“Fucking brilliant.” I muttered through gritted teeth. We were stuck, and if this wasn’t something you’d see in a rom-com, I don’t know what is. I began pressing the alarm button. Nothing. I got out my phone to call someone. No service. Feeling defeated, I retreated back to where I was stood before.

We stayed there for a few moments in silence, and this time it was my turn to drill holes into the doors with my eyes. In my peripheral vision I could see Jay glance at me every so often, opening his mouth slightly in an attempt to say something, but soon closed it again.

A few more moments, and he obviously couldn’t take it anymore. “Mads…” Fuck. The nickname that made me weak at the knees. “I’m sorry. I…I don’t know where that came from, and I didn’t mean it at all. I’m not mad at you, just a little annoyed but I…I don’t know, I guess I’m still furious at that last case, so I overreacted. It’s still in my head, you know?”

Taking my defences down, I turned to him, a comforting look on my face, and put my hand on his arm. “I know, Jay. But you can talk to me about it, you know? I want you to. No one deserves to take that home with them.”

He sighed, then looked at me, reluctanct to say what he was going to. He pulled me closer before answering. “Of course I know I can talk to you, Mads. I was going to, but when we got home you were so tired, we both were, and you fell asleep on the couch before I could even ask you what you wanted for dinner.” He laughed the last part, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. 

I snuggled in closer. “I’m sorry. About it all. I don’t like being mad at you.”

He chuckled, “I’m sorry too, and neither do I. But I have to say, it’s pretty sexy when you’re angry.”

I looked up at him, scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Shut up.” I smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips.

When we pulled apart, I could tell he wanted to say something. With a sultry smirk, he murmured, his hot breath tickling my ear, “You know, since no one seems to be coming, we have some time to ourselves. I’ve always wanted to have sex in an elevator.”

I laughed and swatted his arm playfully. “And I’ve always wanted to use handcuffs, but we’re not doing it here,” I said, seductively. I trailed my hand up his thigh to cup his member through his jeans, proud of how he was already semi-hard, causing his shoulders to visibly tense. “I’ll show you how sorry I am when we get home.” I winked.

Stepping back, I admired the man before me. He had moved to lean against the wall, biting his lip and shaking his head, not breaking eye contact with me once. I, myself, continued to smirk, until I heard the hatch on the elevator roof open.

Looking up, I was met by a bright pair of blue eyes and a cheeky smile.

“Thought you’d have seen enough of me for one day, Maddie.” Casey laughed, lowering a ladder down through the hole.

“Yeah, yeah.” I muttered, smiling at him as I made my way up the ladder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment, I really appreciate it!


	18. Chapter 18

_“Hey, girl.”_

“Hi, Sadie, what you up to?”

It was 8pm. I was freshly showered and sat in my pyjamas on the couch in my living room, a glass of red wine in my hand, about to watch a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy when one of my best friends from back in London called. Sadie Hollingshead went to my high school, and we have been friends ever since. I’ve saved her arse more than once, since she went spiralling for six months or so after her mother passed away when she was fourteen, but after that she returned to being the hard-working, resilient Sadie I’ve always known and loved. We went down separate paths in university; I did criminology whereas she did hotel management. Fifteen years later, she has opened eleven hotels in various cities around the world and is a millionaire. It’s funny how life turns out, and she deserves everything that comes her way. Even though she is very well off, she is one of the most humble and down-to-earth people I know.

_“Nothing much. Are you all set for the opening party next Friday?”_

I almost spat out my red wine at that.

“Hmm? What opening?”

_“Did my assistant not call you?”_

“Erm, no?”

_“Damn. Well, I’m opening my next hotel in Chicago next week…”_

“Wait, that new building on East Superior Street is yours?”

_“Mm-hmm.”_

“Damn, girl. Congratulations!”

 _“Thank you! Anyways, you and a plus one are invited to the opening party next week. We’ll be having dinner first in the hotel restaurant, I’ll be doing a little speech and it has a built-in club, so we’ll be having the party in there.”_ She said, and I swear my eyes almost popped out of my head. I wanted to scream I was so excited _. “I’ll also throw in a free night, just because it’s you. The Emperor suite sound good?”_

“Oh my goodness, Sadie, thank you so much! I can’t wait! But you really don’t have to give us a free night.”

 _“Nonsense! You’re my best friend, you’ve done more than enough for me, it’s time I treat you. Plus, you and your boyfriend can make_ as much _noise as you want and no one will be able to hear you.”_ She laughed, and it was almost like I could hear her wink through the phone.

“Sadie!” I chuckled. I’m so glad she couldn’t see me because I’m sure my cheeks were bright red.

_“You better be bringing him as your plus one. I need to meet him.”_

“I will be. I’m sure he’ll be just as excited as me, genuinely. What’s the dress code?”

 _“A suit or tux for men, and sexy club attire for women.”_ She laughed again. “ _I can’t wait to see you, you always looked better than me in a mini dress.”_

“Aha, nice try, I’ll probably be wearing something a little less revealing than what we used to when we were eighteen.”

_“Well, I don’t know who will be drooling over you more, me or Jay. Either way, you’re gonna need that sound-proof suite at the end of the night.”_

I chuckled. “I’m looking forward to it, see you next week!”

_“I’ll send you your invites through the post. Bye!”_

And with that, I ended the call. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t jump up and do a little excited dance to celebrate.

***

It was the next morning, and we were all at the district. We had just gotten started on a drug trafficking case that we have very few leads for, but they were all strong ones. However, this wasn’t your average drug case; one of the main players was a very wealthy, white businessman from the Gold Coast. We had already snatched him up, and he had already asked for a lawyer more times than you can count on your fingers. After I had finished typing up the start of the case report and looking up some of the people that were possibly involved (because we were waiting for the lawyer to get here and I had nothing better to do) I went to the break room to get some coffee.

Jay was already in there, pouring himself a cup, and as I entered he looked up at me and smiled. I returned the gesture as I reached into the cupboard to pull out a mug. He turned around and leaned his back against the counter, sipping his coffee.

“You know my friend, Sadie?” I asked as I began pouring the coffee.

“Your best friend from high school. She’s the one with the hotels, right?”

“Yeah. She invited us to the opening of her next hotel, here in Chicago. We’d be going to the party then she said we can stay the night.”

He nodded in reply, going to take another sip.

“It’s that building on East Superior Street that they’ve been building.” I added, smirking.

His eyes immediately widened in surprise and he slightly choked on his coffee. I laughed at his goofiness.

“Wow. Okay. When is it?”

“Next Friday evening. Suit or tux for men. Do you need help finding one?”

He acted sarcastically offended. “I’m not entirely incapable, you know.”

“I know,” I chuckled. “But I think I have somewhere you can rent a tux from at a pretty good price.”

“Okay, text me the details and I can sort it.”

I saluted at him jokingly as I sipped my coffee, then went to leave the room.

“Hey!” he called as I reached the doorway. I turned around, leaned my shoulder on the doorframe and cocked an eyebrow. “What about for you? What’s the dress code?”

I laughed. “All she said was ‘ _sexy club attire’_ , so I think I’ll wear a jumpsuit or something like that.”

“What about a dress?”

I scrunched up my nose. He smiled at me.

“What? I like you in dresses.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I went back to my desk, nursing my mug in my hands and sat back down in my chair, then placed it on my coaster. Jay emerged mere seconds later and perched himself on the edge of my desk. I looked at where he was sat, then up at his face.

“Make yourself comfy, why don’t you.” I said, sarcastically.

He scoffed. “Oh please, you do it on mine all the time.” I shrugged and leaned back on my chair, crossing my arms. “You should wear a dress. I’ll even come with you to the mall after work and buy you a new one, if you’d like.”

“Aww, thank you. That’s sweet. But I’d honestly rather wear a jumpsuit or a blazer with some trousers.”

Before Jay could reply, the sound of heels clicking on the floor caused us both to turn our heads. At the top of the stairs stood Sergeant Platt with who I assume was our dealer’s lawyer. Even though she could have made it as a model. I can tell I’m not the only person who noticed so, as Adam was practically drooling over her.

As he appeared to be deemed both speechless and motionless, I stood up to take Adam’s place in leading her to the interrogation room, where both Voight and Hailey were having a crack at breaking the dealer. I held my hand out as I approached, as did she, and we shook hands.

“Olivia Wright. I’m here for Daniel Francs.”

“Detective Turner. He’s back here, if you’d like to follow me. Thank you, Sergeant.”

I walked her to the interrogation room and let her in. On my return to my desk, I stopped in front of Adam, put my hands on my hips and said “Keep it in your pants, Ruzek.”

He looked at me dumbfounded, so I just rolled my eyes and went to sit back in my chair. Jay was still in the same position I left him.

“10 bucks says Adam asks her out before she leaves.” I whispered to him.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought about it. “You have a deal, but not for ten bucks.”

I gave him a look that told him to continue.

“So, if he asks the lawyer out, you win, and you get to wear a jumpsuit or whatever you’d like to the opening. If he doesn’t ask the lawyer out, and I win, you have to wear a mini dress. Deal?” He whispered with a mischievous smirk.

I smiled and slightly shook my head at him. “Fine. I’m game.”

And with that he returned to his desk.

***

About half an hour later, both Hailey and the lawyer emerged. I shot a look over to Jay to tell him to be ready, only to see he was already looking at me, probably to say the same.

The lawyer said a small thanks to Hailey and then turned to say goodbye to the rest of us. Before she went to leave, Adam stood up.

“Hey, um, it’s Olivia, right?”

“Yes?”

“I’m Adam, nice to meet you.”

I sent a cocky smile over to Jay.

“And you.”

Awkward silence.

“So…um…” Adam started.

“Would you like to go for a drink later?” she asked him. I thought my eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. I heard Jay’s little snort and I didn’t even need to look over at him, I could feel the waves of cockiness radiating from him.

“Yeah. I’d love to.” Adam replied.

She leant down and wrote out her number on a post-it then said “I’ll see you later then.”

“Yes you will.” Adam smiled, and off she went.

I slowly turned my head to Jay, only to witness him doing a little celebratory fist pump. I chuckled at him, then went back to reading a file on my computer.

Friday will be fun. I guess I’ll have to play a little teasing game to get my revenge…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment! I highly appreciate it.


	19. Chapter 19

It was Friday, the day of the opening, and boy was I excited. The night of our bet, me and Jay went to the mall so I could pick out a dress (he did offer to pay, so I was of course going to hold him to it), but I didn't let him see it. I wanted it to be a surprise. That, and also because it would aid me in my little revenge game. I was also yet to make up for missing our lunch date last week, which I was planning to do tonight.

Voight had given us tonight and tomorrow off after I explained to him where we were going and why. He did, however, tell us we had to work up until 6pm, which made us a little tight for time, seeing as the opening began officially at 7 and we had to get changed before we went. Opting for the safest option, we both decided we should just get ready at the district, so this morning we had both packed what we needed and set off to work.

As I was typing something into the system, I felt two hands being firmly placed on my shoulders, which then proceeded to work out any knots. I sighed, then tilted my head back to look into the crystalline pools of turquoise that I loved so dearly.

"That feels like you wouldn't believe." I smiled.

"Well, I have been told I have magic hands." He whispered with a wink. I rolled my eyes before pressing a kiss to his lips.

"It's 6. Voight said we're free to go." He murmured.

I nodded and stood, then we went to the locker room. Jay went to his locker and pulled out his blue suit, which competed in lavishness with his eyes. I went to mine and pulled out my makeup bag, sat down cross-legged on the bench and proceeded to do a simple brown smoky eye. I have to admit, it did take me longer than usual, given that I had a front row seat to a spectacular view; a shirtless Jay Halstead. I felt like a teenage girl, getting excited over a topless guy.

"Earth to Maddie, do you copy?" he laughed as he began buttoning his shirt.

"Oh, don't mind me, just enjoying the show." I chuckled then when back to my makeup.

Soon, I was finished, and Jay was fully dressed. "I'll be out in two secs. You go ahead and collect your stuff." I told him. He nodded, picked up his overnight bag and walked out.

As soon as the coast was clear, I began getting undressed. There was no way I could wear a bra under this dress, not that I wanted to. In fact, step one of my plan was to wear no underwear at all. So I shimmied out of my pants and unclasped my bra, then pulled my dress over my head. I adjusted it a little, then sat and put on my shoes. I admired the finished result in the little mirror over the sink. Since getting with Jay, I feel like my confidence has soared, thanks to his compliments and the look of both love and lust in his eyes when he sees me. Happy with what I saw, I picked up my overnight bag and left the locker room.

My heels clicked against the floor as I rounded the corner to the bullpen. Everyone looked up, a little surprised. Adam wolf whistled, and Kevin said, "Damn, girl, you're gonna have people fighting over you tonight." I laughed and turned my head to see Jay walking out from the break room, his face a mixture of shock and a smile.

"You look gorgeous." He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my hair.

"Thank you. And you look devilishly handsome."

He chuckled as he loosened his arms. "Thanks. You ready to go?"

"Nearly, just gotta get the invites from my drawer." I walked over to my desk, back turned to Jay, and leant over to open the bottom drawer, giving him a full view of my pussy. It must have been dripping wet already, as both the idea of what is going to happen tonight and how I'm going to tease him was making me unbelievably aroused. As I fished around in the draw, I could audibly hear Jay swallow. I smirked as I stood back up, turning around with the invites in my hand, only to catch him adjusting his pants slightly. I looked up to his face and his eyes met mine. It was like he could read my mind and I could read his, and I immediately knew tonight was going to be fun. Saying goodbye to the rest of the team, who must have not witnessed what happened as nobody looked at us suspiciously or with a knowing smile, we both left out of the side entrance.

The air between us was thick with sexual tension, neither of us speaking a word as we walked to Jay's car, put our stuff in the trunk and then climbed in. It was only as he started the engine that he turned to look at me.

"Do you find it fun to tease me?" he asked with mock seriousness.

"A little." I grinned mischievously.

"Oh, the things I want to do to you, Madeleine." He murmured as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"We have all night, _detective."_ I replied, my words dripping with honey.

***

We had been given the keys to our room for the night when we arrived at the hotel at 6:40pm, so Jay had gone to get our bags from the car whilst I searched for Sadie. The hotel was gorgeous, only heightening how proud of her I was, and way too expensive for a detective's salary, so I was ever so grateful that she gifted us a free night.

I finally found her in the room where we'd be having dinner. Placed strategically around the room were over a dozen round tables, enough to hold eight people at each one. Crimson red table cloths were strewn over them, the same colour in napkins folded neatly next to each plate. In the centre of each one was a bouquet of burgundy peonies, sat in a glass vase with little iridescent crystals trailing from it. At the front of the room was a stage, complete with a stand and a screen behind it. Stood in front of it was Sadie, her head in a clipboard.

"Sadie!" I called out. She looked up from her clipboard and her face brightened when she saw me. We walked, quite fast, towards each other then brought one another into a hug. "It's so nice to see you. I've missed you!"

"Aw, I've missed you too. Look at you though! Girl, you look so hot!" She said as she pulled away, held me by my shoulders at arms-length and looked me up and down with a beaming smile.

"Thank you." I chuckled. "And you look stunning!" She was wearing a royal blue sequin playsuit that complemented her short, blonde hair perfectly.

"Thanks! So, where's lover boy?"

I scrunched my nose up at the name, which caused her to laugh, and right on cue Jay walked into the room.

"Over there." I said, nodding my head over to where he was stood. He found us and began walking over.

"Got 'em." He said to me, slightly lifting the bags in a gesture to show me, before lowering them onto the floor and looking at Sadie. He held out his hand and smiled at her. "Jay Halstead, nice to meet you."

Sadie took his hand and pulled him in for a hug, which surprised him a little but he soon relaxed. 

"Sadie Hollingshead, nice to meet you too. Maddie's told me a lot about you."

They pulled apart, and Jay chuckled. "Of course, that's true Maddie fashion."

Coughing slightly to avoid any interrogation that Sadie may begin (I honestly questioned if she would have been a better detective than me), I looked at her and said, "Well, we should probably take these up to our room. We'll see you in a bit."

"Sure thing. Hope you like it." She smiled, then returned to her clipboard as we left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is about half of what I wrote out intending it to be the whole night in one chapter, but it was waaayyy too long, so the night's probably going to be spread over three chapters. I promise it's worth it :)
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment!


	20. Chapter 20

**_Smut Warning_ **

Waiting in front of the elevator, I looked at Jay, who then looked at me.

"Want me to take one?" I offered, referring to the bags.

"It's okay, I've got them." He replied with a slight smile.

"What a gent." I smiled. The doors opened and we entered. I pressed the button for our floor, and up we went.

I chuckled lightly to myself, which earned a confused look from Jay. "Don't mind me, just reminiscing about the last time we were in an elevator together."

He blushed. "I see."

"I still have some promises I need to... fulfil. And I _fully_ intend to do so." I looked forward, a mischievous smirk on my face. I heard Jay take a deep breath. My plan was working.

"I seem to remember we had a few confessions." He said.

"Mm-hmm." I hummed.

"So, handcuffs? Is it a cop thing?"

I scoffed. "No. Not really. I have always just liked the idea letting someone else take control, if you know what I mean." I looked at him now, and his eyes mirrored my own: dark with arousal.

I first heard the bags dropped to the floor with a thud, then his hand holding my jaw as he kissed me, his mouth full of passion as our lips moved with a fever like no other. Soon my back hit the cold mirror, sending a shiver down my spine. Or maybe that was from the ever-growing heat in my core. I moaned into his mouth as my hands found the nape of his neck and his free hand began to slightly lift the hem of my dress, just before the elevator dinged to inform us that we had reached our floor. We pulled apart, looking at each other playfully before a last-minute attempt at regaining our composure as the doors opened. Jay picked up the bags from the floor and we left the elevator, walking down the corridor with slightly sheepish smiles plastered on our faces. We soon reached our door, and after using the keycard, I pushed down on the handle and opened the door.

In front of our very eyes, a luxurious room appeared, with royal blue furnishings and golden trimmings decorating it.

"This is beautiful." I breathed out, unable to take it all in as I began walking around the room, touching each item to check I wasn't dreaming.

"It sure is." Jay said from his stance in the doorway, just as awestricken as me.

"We should probably put away our stuff then make our way back downstairs." I said, snapping out of my daydream. Jay nodded in agreement.

***

Having met everyone at our table, we sat down, ready for the evening to begin. Jay pulled out my chair for me, and I sat down as I said a small thank you. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. This man loved me, out of all the people in the world, and I couldn't ask for anything more. We were sat towards the back of the room and off to the side, on a table with an array of people, ranging from major names in the hotel business to close friends of Sadie's whom were invited as a thank you for their support.

The lights dimmed and Sadie appeared on the stage to make her speech. Before any words were even spoken, I felt a growing sense of pride in my heart for the girl who was like a sister to me. She had worked immensely hard to get to where she was today, and despite all of the challenges life had thrown at her, she was still standing strong.

"Good evening, everyone. I hope you have all enjoyed yourselves so far. I would first like to say a thank you for coming to the opening of my twelfth hotel. It's honestly a wonder how my hair isn't grey yet. Well, not fully." She winked. Laughter sounded from around the room. "Tonight is very special to me, and not just because I'm opening this hotel, but I get to spend it with my family and the friends I've made throughout the years..."

I was listening very intently to Sadie's speech when I felt a hand on my thigh, the fingers drawing soothing strokes. I smiled at Jay, appreciating the support he gave through the comforting gesture, but apparently that wasn't his only intention.

I turned back to the front to continue listening to Sadie's speech, but every few seconds, his fingers wandered higher. Dangerously close to my heat, he pinched my thigh, causing me to take a deep, sucking breath, which I attempted to cover by doing a small cough. I whipped my head towards Jay and glared at him. "What are you doing?" I whisper-shouted.

With a devious twinkle in his eye and a cocked head, he simply smiled at me. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, stop." I scolded, removing his hand from my leg and turning my attention back to the stage.

A few minutes passed, in which he left me alone. However, he soon had his hand back on my thigh, already trailing his way towards my core once again. Another pinch, and a whine escaped from the back of my throat, thankfully only loud enough for him to hear. I attempted to remove his hand, but he stopped me before I could do so. A moan was threatening to escape its confines, but I swallowed it, waiting in a mixed sense of both anticipation and eagerness for what I knew was coming.

Releasing a shaky breath, I subconsciously opened my legs, granting him access to wherever he wanted. I could feel his cocky smile without even seeing it. His hand danced higher, finally finding their destination, and his finger trailed up my centre before circling my clit.

"You're dripping, babygirl." He purred into my ear, his voice dripping with satisfaction at his effect on me, before going to kiss my cheek to play off him leaning over to me. I bit my lip as I sighed quietly, the nickname only adding to my pleasure. He put more pressure against my clit, keeping up with the circular motions, which made my mouth go dry. I reached for my drink and took a sip, just as Jay inserted a finger into me, causing me to choke on my water.

A man across the table turned around at my coughing fit and looked at me concerned. "Are you okay, miss?"

"Yes, sorry about that." I apologised in a slightly strangled voice as Jay inserted another finger, my cheeks no doubt flushing in the process. The man simply smiled and turned back to face the stage. I desperately grabbed Jay's thigh, sinking my nails in as his fingers moved in and out of me. I felt the heat begin to build, a fiery ball of pleasure growing in me, and audaciously I began to move with his fingers, craving my release. He moved quicker, curling his fingers to hit my g-spot and moving his thumb to rub my clit, causing a choked and hopefully quiet moan to escape me. I leaned forward, laying my elbow on the table, covering my mouth with my hand, trying to breathe through the waves of pleasure that had begun to ripple through my body.

"You're such a bad girl, riding my fingers where anyone could see." Jay murmured into my ear, nibbling at the lobe. I turned my head slightly to look at him through desperate and slightly teary eyes. "I want to feel your pussy clench around my fingers, baby. Go on. Cum for me, cum on my fingers, babygirl." His words alone were enough to make my legs quiver, but along with his ministrations, the fire in my stomach finally flashed over as I let go. I gripped onto his thigh so hard it will leave a bruise and bit my lip so hard the metallic taste of blood invaded my mouth. Jay helped me ride out my orgasm, and then I relaxed back into the chair, slightly breathless, as he slipped his fingers out of me. I turned my head to face him, watching him lick his fingers clean with a grin on his face. "You taste amazing, baby." He whispered.

"Oh, your time's coming, Halstead." I breathed out, sending a sultry smirk his way.

Like I said before, we have _all night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel no remorse in writing this chapter. That is all I have to say :) 
> 
> (Don't forget to vote and comment!)


	21. Chapter 21

**_Smut Warning, again :)_ **

After that little…event…dinner was served. We engaged in light conversation with other members of our table, talking about our lives and theirs. Throughout it all, I kept catching Jay giving me little smirks, which I returned. He was very proud of himself for what he had done earlier, and I can’t decide who won: me or him.

Soon, dinner was over, and we all moved over to the built-in nightclub that would hold the party section of our night. I was getting a little restless, given that this party was definitely not my scene and I also desperately wanted to go to our room. Not only because I wanted to finish what we started earlier, but because, as we were sat having a few drinks at the bar, Jay once again had his hand on my thigh, not allowing me to forget what happened before and what was going to happen. He wasn’t advancing any further than where he was, but that and the little smile his face constantly held was enough.

Sadie finally managed to pry herself away from an older couple who were talking her ear off about their strain of hotels, so she came over to us.

“God, I don’t think my feet can take much more.” She huffed as she sat down next to me and ordered a cocktail.

“I have to say, I don’t envy you.” I laughed.

Spotting Jay’s hand on my thigh, she looked up and gave me a suggestive grin. “Are you enjoying yourselves?”

I blushed. “Yes, we are, thanks for inviting us.”

“Yeah, thank you Sadie, we really appreciate it.” Jay added. If he had picked up on the second meaning to her comment, he sure didn’t show it.

“Well, I feel like I’ve barely seen you tonight, but I’m in town for a few weeks so we should grab coffee or dinner or something.”

“That’d be lovely. I’ll call you to arrange it in the next few days.”

“Great! I guess I have to go talk to someone else about their toilet roll company now.” She murmured, looking around the room. “Have a great rest of your night!”

“Thank you, and good luck!” I laughed. And with a small wave, she was off.

“So…” Jay began.

“Yup.” I said, jumping down from my bar stool, dragging Jay along behind me and out of the club.

I’m surprised we made it to the elevators, never mind our room, without ripping each other’s clothes off. I swear you could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife. But we did, and as soon as the door shut behind us, Jay pushed me up against it, grabbing my jaw in his hand once again, his other placed against the wall for support. I have to say, between Jay and a wall is one of my favourite places to be. I cupped his cheek with one hand and I held onto his shoulder with my other, bracing myself as his lips worked so diligently in exploring mine. He let go of my jaw and removed his hand from the wall as his lips wander along my jaw and down my neck. My hand moved to the back of his head, running it over the short stubble. He slipped the dress off my shoulders and pulled it down with little effort, the slight touch of his fingertips and the kisses he places in the crook of my neck causing me to release a soft moan. Once my dress has pooled around my feet, he pulls back, looking at my naked form with a fire in his eyes, one fuelled by lust and passion.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, our eyes caught in a trance. I dive in for another kiss as he lifts me by my thighs. I wrap my legs around his waist, and his mouth moves down once again. His tongue swirls around my nipple, causing it to raise like a mountain. Pleased, he licks and sucks on it before moving to the other, his hand squeezing my arse roughly the whole time. I was in a dream-like state; my eyes were clouded over in ecstasy and I couldn’t control the little whimpers of pleasure leaving the back of my throat. With what little remnants of consciousness I had left, my fingers worked on the buttons of his waistcoat and then his shirt, dropping them to the floor to join my dress. Moving back up to my mouth, he carried me effortlessly towards the bed and threw me down on it.

Before he could join me, I sat up, kneeling, and kissed him again, trailing my hands down his chest to his belt and working to undo it. I then undid his trousers and let them fall at his feet, leaving him in his very strained grey boxers.

Without another thought I pulled them down his toned thighs, and his throbbing cock sprung free. Every time I saw it, I was in awe. It was perfect. There was no better way to describe it. I looked into his eyes, then got to my knees on the floor in front of him.

“Mads…you don’t have to…” He began.

“I want to. I also said I was going to make up for missing dinner. Plus…” I licked his cock from the base to the tip, causing him to shiver. “You’re going to enjoy this.”

He chuckled quietly before I began to stroke his cock with both hands, causing him to moan quite gutturally. I rolled my tongue over the tip of his cock and then circled it. After each revolution, I moved further down, ever so slightly, before returning to my original position. It made Jay draw in a sharp breath, coupled with a slight gasp.

I took his cock in one hand, holding it like a flute, and teased the foreskin on his shaft as I popped the tip of his dick in my mouth. I bobbed my head slowly, wanting to draw on his pleasure for as long as possible. I put the tiniest amount of pressure on his cock and every few seconds I licked the tip, until it was dripping with a mix of precum and my saliva. I looked up at Jay, my eyes meeting his as I ran the inside of my kiss-swollen lower lip under his cock and then kissed it gently.

I found new ways to pleasure him, licking him one way then sucking him another. I licked his shaft, beginning just above his balls and running my tongue along the full length until his dick throbbed against my nose. His groans and sighs were music to my ears. I continued, my own body responding by increasing the pulsing of my heartrate in my clit. Jay’s body began trembling after a while, and he placed a hand on my head, stroking my hair as I sucked him. I drew my head back and lingered on his little slit. I could feel the throbbing of his cock grow more intense as I held him in my mouth, my slow sucking relentless.

I could feel his head growing more bulbous and the pulsing was increasing. I didn’t stop. I continued on my journey, bringing him to the edge. I gave his cock another series of licks then sucked him again, increasing the pressure and quickening my movements ever so slightly, but it was enough. I felt his cock twitch and his groans became moans of pleasure – gruff and guttural. As I rolled my tongue over his bellend, his legs began to shake and his dick erupted, sending waves of cum down my throat.

When he was done, I kissed his tip, then stood. I could feel my own arousal beginning to drip down my legs, my pussy begging for my own release. Leaving his post-orgasmic daze, Jay pushed me down onto the bed and crawled on top of me, kissing me. He attacked my neck, then sucked the sweet spot behind my ear. He then whispered, “Don’t move.” and got off the bed. I did as he told me.

He returned holding two shining rings joined together by a chain. Handcuffs.

“Did you take those from the district?” I laughed as he returned on top of me.

“Maybe.” He smirked.

His fingers danced down my forearms before harshly yanking my hands over my head. He pinned my wrists there with his left hand whilst his right cuffed me to the bedframe.

I tugged a few times, then closed my eyes and sighed, “Fuck.”

A smirk was plastered on his face, not leaving for anything. When he had examined my immobile form, my chest rising and falling with deep breaths in an attempt to control my pleasure, he leaned down, achingly slow, and began to plant whispers of kisses at landmarks on my body. He pushed my legs apart, which I had very little resistance towards, and began trailing his tongue down one thigh and then the other, skipping over the area he knew I needed him the most.

“Jay…please…” I whimpered, desperation oozing from my voice, my eyes connecting with his, which were enjoying the show of helplessness from between my legs.

“I love when you moan out my name.” He murmured, his voice gruff and deep, and he stop teasing. He licked a stripe from bottom to top, eliciting a gasp from me, prematurely, I must say. Because when he began lapping at my clit whilst holding my thighs open with a tight grip, that is when I began squirming.

“Oh, yes, just like that.” I said in a voice that was almost a scream. All he did was smirk and continue, causing the heat in my core to build. His tongue delved into me, and I shuddered. It was a tease of what was to come, and I couldn’t wait much longer.

“God, Jay, I need you i-inside me, _please…”_ I was laughably desperate.

He had no reaction to my words, only continuing his ministrations.

“I swear, Jay, I will-“

“Don’t make me laugh.” He had stopped what he was doing now and had moved up so that his lips were brushing mine, our eyes locked, a smirk gracing his mouth. “You’re handcuffed to the bed. From where I’m standing, you can’t do anything but let me do what I want to you.”

I groaned in frustration. He was right. All I could do was tell him what I wanted, but it was up to him whether he does it or not. I stared deep into his eyes. “Then fuck me.”

With no words, he thrust his hips forward and was immediately inside me, such a shock that I would have screamed if not for his lips on mine.

“Holy shit.” He groaned. He let out in a breath as he started moving his hips, building up to the perfect pace, hitting the perfect spot. I was getting lightheaded, the stars beginning to form in constellations behind my eyelids, and I knew I was near the edge.

“Jay… _Jay…_ I’m gonna…”

And he stopped.

“No, no, no, Jay, please, _please…”_ I was practically begging now, and yet he still wouldn’t grant my wish.

“Only cum when I let you.” He said into my ear, nibbling at the lobe, then down my jaw, then to my lips where he kissed me slow and sweet…

He began moving again, and it was _heavenly._ I let out a low and dragged out moan as my back arched off the bed. He’s buried so deep inside me, further than I thought was possible. But he’s moving so slowly that I can feel every inch, relishing every movement. He picked up the pace, and I was a shaking, writhing mess. I was pulling at the cuffs so hard I could have broken the bedframe; my hair was fanned out around me like a halo and I was moaning like there was no tomorrow. I was falling apart and Jay was _living_ for it. I began to clench around him, and I was close again.

“Jay, please, _please_ let me cum, _please…”_ I whined.

He moved one hand and began rubbing my clit, then whispered in my ear “Cum for me.”

I let out a strangled moan mixed with a scream, my walls clenching and squeezing around his cock as I came, which made him fall over the edge too.

Jay let go with a godly groan, thrusting his hips out of rhythm until we were both done, then he fell to my side. We had a moment where we both caught our breath, and then Jay got up, getting the keys to the handcuffs and a towel to clean me up. He let me out of the restraints and then cared for me with such a gentle touch. When he was done, he laid beside me in bed and pulled the covers up around us. I snuggled into him, still a little dazed.

“Mads, I wasn’t too harsh, was I? I know you said you liked it but I feel bad if-“

“No, Jay, it was amazing. I loved it. I would tell you if I wasn’t okay with it, just like I hope you would tell me.” I smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. I could tell he was nervous if he had overstepped, but I trusted him whole-heartedly. At my words he seemed to relax, pulling me closer and kissing my hair.

As we were both close to falling asleep, I heard him whisper, “I love you, Maddie, with my whole heart.”

“I love you too, Jay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to hell, but It's worth it.
> 
> Don't forget to comment and leave kudos!


	22. Chapter 22

It was the Monday after the party, and after a very relaxing weekend, both me and Jay were ready to kick some ass. I had slept at Jay's last night, so we drove to work together. As soon as we arrived, we were bombarded with questions about the party and the venue. We both did our best to describe it in detail, of course leaving out the parts that weren't work friendly. Although, we both couldn't stop smiling and stealing glances of each other, so I'm pretty sure they suspected something of the sort went down.

I went to go get coffee for both me and Jay as we didn't have time to have some before going to the district. After I had poured out two mugs, I began making my way back to my desk when I saw two grown men acting like idiots.

I slowed to a stop in the doorway of the break room and looked out into the bullpen with an amused smile on my face. Jay held a segment of a tangerine and was aiming it towards Adam, who had his mouth open so wide I'm surprised he didn't dislocate his jaw. After a few seconds, Jay threw the piece and it miraculously landed in Adam's mouth. Both men started celebrating; jumping up, throwing hands up in the air, fist pumping, shouting and laughing. I shook my head and scoffed. "It's like I work with children." I said, chuckling, which caused both Kim and Hailey to laugh.

After that, the team filled us in on the case they got whilst we were off. A ten-year-old boy, Marcus Collins, was shot dead in Englewood, but the responding officers got there fast enough to stop the killer running away with the kid's backpack. Even though he escaped, the officers opened the bag to find five bricks of heroin and a gun that had been used in a murder three months ago. They had found that Marcus was at school the time of the murder, and all close family and friends also alibied out.

So that was where we started, looking for new leads and possibilities as to where the contents of the backpack came from. Hailey came up with the idea of questioning the suspects of the previous murder case, but I was pretty sceptical of that as the detectives from Homicide didn't have a strong case on any of them. Also, it didn't explain the heroin we found with the gun.

Me and Jay were sat in the bullpen, running background checks and waiting for the others to get back from interrogating their suspects. Honestly, to me, it felt almost useless. Sure, there was a chance that they did it, but it wasn't adding up in my head. But I had an idea.

I stood up and knocked on Voight's door. I heard a gruff "Come in." and I opened it, leaning in.

"Hey Sarge, I have an idea. Is it alright if me and Halstead chase it? We'll be half an hour, tops."

"Fine by me."

"Thanks, Sarge."

I shut the door behind me and turned around to find Jay looking at me questioningly.

"Get up, boy scout. We're off for a drive." I smiled, going to get my coat.

" _Boy scout,_ " Jay shuddered. "Not sure I like that one."

We both walked out of the district and got in the car. I decided to drive, mainly so I could do what I was planning and explain my idea to Jay without wasting any time.

"So, what's your idea?" Jay asked once we pulled out of the parking lot.

"When you're ten, most of your day is spent at school, isn't it?" I began. Jay showed he was following by nodding his head. "So, it's likely it had something to do with his school or the surrounding routine. Although it's not out of the question, I doubt his classmates will have had anything to do with it, or his teachers. But, the neighbourhood his school and home are in is the South Side Hustlers' stomping ground. No doubt that there are a few corner boys that Marcus used to pass daily on his way to school. Maybe they have something to do with it."

We arrived outside Marcus' school in half an hour. We had crawled up to it in the last few minutes, watching different groups on corners doing deals, but it was nothing to do with our case. Upon reaching the school, we saw a group of shady characters that looked promising.

"There." Jay said, pointing out the group then reaching into the back to grab the camera.

The main one in the group of three called over a young boy. When the boy reached them, someone else in the group grabbed a backpack out of the bushes and handed it to the boss. The boss gave it to the kid, said something, flashed some money and then the kid ran off. Jay took photos of everything that happened.

"Hear me out." I said, the cogs in my brain turning. "This guy is probably low in the food chain but is told to dispose or transport evidence in crimes that his superior is involved in and/or deliver product to whoever, and in return he gets to prove his worth to the gang. But he's chicken, so he pays someone to do it, and who better than a little kid who wouldn't say no to a bit of cash? I bet if we snatch him up, we'll be able to flip him, maybe with a bit of persistence and some tactics, and find out what happened at the murder. The first one, I mean."

"And maybe we can use that to find who killed Marcus. Whoever killed him wanted the backpack, so they must have wanted either the drugs or the gun. So let's grab him up." Jay added.

Before we could get out of the car, Jay's phone rang. It was Voight. He picked up the phone, and, apparently, we were needed back at the district for a briefing on what the rest of the team had found. Jay explained to him our theory and that we wanted to arrest someone who could help, but Voight told us to stand down and return. Jay begrudgingly agreed and hung up.

We arrived back at the district and went up to the bullpen. Each partnership proceeded to tell the rest of the team what they had found out, which turned out to be nothing particularly useful. Jay and I were the last to go. We explained our theory, and so far, everyone seemed on board, probably because it was the best of a bad bunch of options.

"So who is this guy?" Adam asked once we were finished. I had already run the photos through facial rec and printed one of them off.

"Kordell Perkins, 22, low level runner for the South Side Hustlers, must be pretty new as he only has drug possession and a DUI on his rap sheet. Also looks like there's an outstanding warrant for his arrest; he didn't turn up for court for the DUI. Bet we can use that as a bargaining chip." I said as I stuck the photo up on the board.

Voight nodded along. "Let's grab him up then. Got an LKA?"

Jay checked his computer. "It says an apartment in the block on Westerton, but they got torn down a few years back now."

"His mum?" I asked. Jay typed away at the computer.

"1321 South Karlov Avenue."

"Let's hit it. I want Turner and Halstead to go in as if they're wanting to question him or the mother, because we won't be able to get a warrant if we're not sure he lives there. The rest of us, we'll be waiting to move in if it gets hairy."

We all showed some form of agreement, went to get our coats and then left.

***

Jay and I got out of the car and walked up the steps to Angela Perkins' house. I knocked on the door.

Soon an older woman with chocolate brown skin and soft features answered the door with a warm smile. "Hello, how can I help you?"

"Mrs Perkins? I'm Detective Turner and this is Detective Halstead. Can we come in and ask you a few questions?"

"Oh, yes, yes of course." She said as she walked away from the door and into her living room. We followed her, shutting the door on our way in and checking for any signs of her son.

"Please, have a seat." She gestured towards the couch on the opposite side to the coffee table to her. We sat, our backs facing the kitchen.

"Have you spoken to your son recently, Mrs Perkins?" Jay asked.

"Please, call me Angela, and yes, I spoke to him this morning over the phone."

"Regarding?" I pushed further.

She sighed. "It's his little cousin's birthday tomorrow and we're having the party this weekend, I wanted to know if he could make it, but he said he can't."

"Do you know where he is right now?"

"No, sorry, I can't say I do."

"Do you know where he lives?"

"Not really. He says he's living with a friend, but I don't know who or where. Ever since he left-"

She was interrupted by a bang in the kitchen. Both me and Jay instantly turned around to look, as we had a pretty good view due to the open plan design.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" I asked, turning only my head to read the facial expression of the mother.

"N-no. It's probably the, erm, the cat." She stammered. She was nervous now. I looked to Jay as he looked to me, and without talking we both knew what the other was thinking and what we were going to do. Jay stood and went into the kitchen first, unholstering his gun in the process. I followed suit behind him.

There was nothing to be seen that had could have caused the bang, and no sign of any cat or traces of it.

"I'm telling you, it was the cat." Angela had appeared in the doorway, her voice now laced with agitation.

"Go back in there, ma'am." I said to her, sternly.

I saw Jay's head turn to a door, and he went and stood in front of it with his hand on the doorknob before signalling me to join him. I stood next to it, letting him take the lead. He opened it, gun raised, and revealed a very squashed-in Kordell in the pantry. You could see the shock on his face as Jay grabbed him by the shoulder and threw him to the ground.

"Hands where we can see 'em, Kordell." Jay shouted as he holstered his gun and got out his handcuffs. "You got me?"

"Yeah." I replied, my gun trained on Kordell as Jay cuffed him.

"How on earth did you fit in there, Kordell?" Jay laughed as he pulled him up to stand.

"Dude, there's a hundred ways you could've evaded us and not one includes you hiding in your mother's pantry." I chuckled, holstering my gun and reaching for my radio. "This is 5021 – James, suspect in custody."

***

We took Kordell back to the district and interrogated him. He broke after we promised to drop the DUI charge if he cooperated, and it turns out Jay and I were right in what happened. Surprisingly for a gang banger, he agreed to wear a wire and get a confession from the murderer, who also happened to be his boss, as long as when we busted him, we made it look like a coincidence that we snatched him up and say that we bugged his phone to get the audio. It went dow4n without a hitch and we got the guy.

We also managed to catch the guy who killed Marcus Collins. After collating statements from witnesses and surveillance footage from a nearby construction sight, we used facial rec to identify him and we brought him in. Turns out, he wasn't after the gun, didn't even know Marcus had it. He was only interested in the cocaine.

It's crazy what people will kill for. Hell, it's crazy they do it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment!


	23. Chapter 23

We didn't speak a word in the car. It wasn't that we had had a fight, or that there was an awkward tension between me and Jay, we just wanted to get this case over with as soon as possible.

The unit was on their way to a hostage situation, one that involved a whole family. The father of the family was a wealthy businessman, one that the hostage-taker, John Peterson, believed had killed his daughter after having an affair with her. The case wasn't pretty, and throughout it all there had been horrifying discoveries, mainly caused by Peterson kidnapping anyone that could give him information on where his missing daughter was, which soon turned into a personal investigation into her death. No matter what we did, we were always at least one step behind this guy, finding his victims either dead or severely injured. He was ruthless, and that's putting it lightly.

So when we had gotten a call about our guy holding a whole family hostage in their own home, we thought we had caught some sort of break, as horrid as that sounds. For once, we were in step with him. The main person he was after was Oscar Davidson, but his wife and 20-year-old twins got caught up in it too.

Therefore, the silence in the car was one of reassurance, determination, evaluation. We both needed it to get our heads in exactly the right space.

We arrived in very little time, jumping out of the car and standing in a misshapen circle on one side of Voight's car.

"Patrol says he's on the second floor, just out of sight. He has two adults, one female, one male, and two children. Halstead, grab the long gun, set up somewhere and wait for my green light. Turner, I want you leading the force in the house with Atwater and Burgess. The rest of you, get ready for any orders but hang back and help patrol. I'll try to get a line of contact out here, but if I can't or he doesn't listen to me, I want you to negotiate with him, Turner. We know this guy better than anyone else here, so we're taking the lead here. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sarge." We all chimed in a chorus before going to do our jobs.

We were positioned on the landing outside of the door to the room when Peterson had the hostages. We all had in-ear lines of communication, just so we don't startle him. I could hear him talking on the phone with Voight through listening to Peterson and through the earpiece.

" _What do you want, Peterson?"_

"I want to know where this son of a bitch buried my daughter, but he isn't talking for shit!" Peterson screamed, muffled female cries leading me to believe he put a gun to the someone's head.

" _I have people working to find that out, Peterson, but you gotta let me know that everyone is okay."_

"They are for now, but they won't be in a minute."

" _I need proof that they're all okay, Peterson. One of my officers is going to come in and check, is that alright?"_

"They better not pull anything funny, or I will put a bullet right between their eyes."

 _"They won't, you have my word."_ Voight said before muting the phone and radioing to me. " _Turner, you're up."_

I walked closer to the door. "John Peterson, I'm Detective Turner, I'm going to come in slowly, okay?"

"Show me your hands!" He shouted.

I gently pushed open the door, showing him my free hand and slowly moving inside, still holding my gun with my left hand but pointing it away from anyone.

"Throw me your gun."

"That's not going to happen, you know that, Peterson." I kept making my way inside. I saw all four hostages, duct tape covering their mouths (except the father) and their hands bound with zip-ties behind their backs. They were all sat back to back in chairs barring the daughter, who Peterson had a hold of. The window was to my right, a few steps forward from where Peterson was stood. "I'm going to radio to my sergeant now, Peterson. I'll reach for my radio slowly."

He nodded, so I did as I said and pressed the button to talk. "Hey, sarge, everyone's okay."

" _Good."_

I moved my hand away from my radio and put it back in the air, keeping the line open so Voight could hear what was going on in the room. "Why don't you let them go, John? These three didn't do anything to hurt you. Keep Oscar and let the rest go."

"No. They mean something to him. He cares about them. He might not care about his own life, but I'm damn sure he cares about his family's." He says, angrily, taking a step forward, gun still pushed to the daughter's temple as he holds her in front of him. "If I want to hurt him, I hurt them."

"Okay, that's fine, you don't have to."

"I need to know where my daughter is!" He shouted at the father, the daughter whimpering at the loud noise.

"I've already told you, man, I don't know!" The father shouted back, on the verge of tears.

"I guess I don't know why my finger is about to slip on the trigger then." Peterson threatened, a sickening grin spreading on his face. This is going to end ugly.

"Peterson, look at me." I said, catching his attention. "We'll find your daughter, but killing Oscar's isn't going to help."

"How would you know, bitch?" He seethed, taking another step forward.

 _"Halstead, if you have the shot take it."_ I heard Voight say through the earpiece.

_"Negative, Sarge."_

"Because my unit is the best in the goddamn city. If anyone can find her, it's us." I said, attempting to calm the situation. "So why don't we just take it back a notch and wait for us to find her before you do something you regret."

He laughed. "Bullshit." He took another step forward, and I knew he was in sight for Jay. But before the bullet could reach Peterson, he was kicked in the back of the knees by the father, and he fell to the ground, pulling the daughter so she was in the position where he was, even if it was for a split second. But a split second was all it took for Jay's bullet to pierce her skull, the last emotion in her eyes being fear before they went blank, and she dropped to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry 🤷
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment to let me know what you think! I'm super grateful for all the love on these chapters so thank you so much 🥰 It means a lot to me that you're enjoying this.


	24. Chapter 24

I froze. I was numb to the screams of the mother, the cries of the father, the shouts from the radio. It was like the sight of the bullet embedding in the girl's head triggered complete paralysis.

 _"Detective Turner, are you okay?"_ Voight screamed through the radio.

"Yeah...yeah, I-I'm okay." I stammered in a voice so quiet I don't even know if he heard me. I walked forward and kicked Peterson's gun away from him, which he had dropped as he fell. Even he was in shock. He didn't move, didn't resist or protest when I cuffed him. Even though he was merciless and psychopathic before, what happened had shocked him into a state of oblivion. I was also partially in one, seeing as I didn't register the other officers entering the room to care for the family. But I had a million thoughts speeding through my head each second.

Jay.

Oh my god. He's going to be distraught. I had to get to him. He's going to break.

But I had to do my job. I escorted Peterson out of the house, the once adrenaline-filled atmosphere now replaced by a sombre tone, people's eyes resembling broken Christmas lights and faces that conveyed anything between utter distress and no emotion whatsoever. I threw him into the back of a squad car and made my way over to Voight.

"Maddie..." He said, his fatherly nature being brought out.

"Where's Jay?" I muttered. I felt something wet on my cheek. I didn't realise it was raining. I reached up to wipe it away and found the small stream flowed from my eye. It wasn't raining; I was crying.

"Over there, in the attic." Hank placed a hand on my shoulder then used his other hand to point to where he meant. "But, Maddie, are you sure you're fine?"

He moved the hand that was pointing to wipe away something on my cheek. I looked at this hand and saw traces of a crimson liquid. Blood. The splatter from the shot.

"Yes, I'm fine, I just...I need to see Jay." I said, a little stronger this time, looking into Hank's eyes to show him I was genuine.

He nodded, and I ran off to the house, running my hands down my face to wipe away any blood that remained. I climbed the stairs and then the ladder into the attic. I peeked over and glanced around for Jay. The sniper was laid on the floor beside the window, which he had shattered to shoot through. Boxes of random objects were littered everywhere, creating an obstacle course for my eyes as I made my way up the ladder. Then I heard whimpering coming from the left of the window.

I walked closer, treading slowly and gently. I could now see Jay, or a man that looked like him but more dishevelled, vulnerable, weak, almost childlike. He had his knees drawn up to his chest, hugging them with his arms, and his hands were so tightly clasped together that his fingers had turned a ghostly white.

His eyebrows were tightly knitted, his eyes clamped shut in an effort to stop the flood of tears that had already flown and didn't seem to want to stop. His face was the epitome of emotional agony. And he just seemed so...small. The protective and caring soul who would stay up for hours at night with me just so I could get the pain of a case off of my chest had been replaced in an instant.

I practically ran to him, throwing myself down on my knees beside him and held him in my arms the best I could. He leaned into me, and he shattered. His feeble attempt at holding back his pain broke into a thousand pieces, and he shattered. Cries emanated from him like violent waves, and he shattered.

I don't know how long it was before his eyes dried up, but it definitely felt longer than it was.

"What have I done, Mads?" He whimpered. "I...I killed an innocent girl. Again. Just like Morgan. Just like in Afghanistan."

He'd talked to me about Morgan before, but not in Afghanistan.

"It was an accident, Jay. You were trying to save her; everyone can see that." I soothed as I ran my hand in circles on his back, my arms still surrounding him.

He was silent for a few more moments after that, but he didn't move to leave my embrace. No one came looking for us, which I'm thankful for.

"Mads...can we go home?" He mumbled.

I pulled away from him but kept my hands on his shoulders. He refused to meet my eyes, and I don't know whether it was out of shame or because he didn't want to know what I was thinking. I moved my right hand up to caress his cheek and bring his face up to see me. When he did glance at me, I gave him a look of sympathy, comfort and care, showing him that he hasn't lost any worth in my eyes. "I'll go get the car."

I ran my thumb along his cheekbone a few more times before I stood up and left. I walked over to Voight, seeing that most things that needed clearing up already had been.

"Sarge, is it okay if Jay and I go home?" I said the formality to begin with, before turning more sincere. "He's not in a good way. He needs to escape for a bit, and I need to help him with that."

He placed an understanding hand on my shoulder before answering. "Of course. Look after him, Maddie."

I nodded, then walked to the car and got in. I drove round to the back of the house and found Jay leaning against the back wall, his eyes closed but any signs of weakness were long gone. That is, if you didn't know him too well. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, probably to hide the shaking. His head was thrown back against the wall and his eyes were tightly closed; his attempt at controlling himself. When I pulled to a stop, he finally opened them, looked in my direction and then got in the car.

It was almost night now, shades of navy painting the sky like it was a canvas, the lights and people we passed being new elements in the masterpiece. But we couldn't enjoy it like we should, not after today, however hard we tried. Doesn't mean we couldn't appreciate it, though.

So instead of going straight home, I drove to a main point overlooking the city. It earned me a few questioning glances from Jay, but he didn't have enough energy to voice the questions. We arrived, and I got out of the car, but Jay made no move to join me. I wasn't sure if he was lost in his own thoughts or if he simply just didn't want to be here. I walked round to his door, opened it and took his hand in mine.

"Please?" I almost whispered. He looked up at my pleading eyes and complied, getting out of the car. I walked us round to the front of the car to sit on the hood. I shuffled as close to him as I could possibly get, making our knees touch and our shoulders lean against each other's. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he laid his on mine. We sat in silence for a while, our hands linked together and resting on his thigh, and it was as equally comforting as it was painful, but it was necessary.

"You know, if you want to talk, I'm here. Whether it's about today, yesterday, the hockey, what you had for lunch, I'm here. If you just want to sit here for hours and just be near to each other, I'm here. Although, it will get cold soon, so I advise against that," I said, which earned a little exhale in amusement. "If you want to go home and hold each other under a blanket on the sofa whilst mindlessly watching a game, I'm here. I'm always here, Jay. I know it's your first instinct sometimes, but, please, try not to push me away."

The only reply for a while was the rising and falling of his chest. It was steady now, unlike before, when sobs wracked through his body. He pulled me closer to him, if that was even possible, by tightening his arm that was wrapped around me. He lifted his head a little to press a kiss to my hair.

"I've made that mistake before, and I can't do it again, not to you. I...I just find it hard. No one has ever really cared enough to listen and understand..."

"I do. I always will."

"I know that now. And you will never know how grateful I am for that..." He whispered, now staring off to watch the sprinkle of lights that were dusted over the city. "I saw her face Maddie, before the bullet hit her. I had it aimed for him, I had him, but then...he fell, and-and she was there, where he was. And I saw her face. The last thing she felt before she died was fear, and that's my fault."

"No, it isn't. Peterson was the one that caused that fear. What happened was no one's fault, and if you had to pin it on someone it would be him. So you can't blame yourself, because no one else does, at all." I had lifted my head off his shoulder and turned it so I faced him, my left hand cupping his cheek so he could look at me to see I was being sincere. His eyes were glassy, the emerald trapped in a watery prison. "I'm not saying you're going move on from it easier, hell, you're never going to fully move on, but that's what makes you you, Jay Halstead. You're caring, compassionate, selfless, protective, loving. I can't even put it all into words. But that's why we love you, that's why I love you, and that's never going to change."

"I want to forgive myself, Mads... but I don't think I deserve it." His voice was strained, quiet, like he was ashamed to admit that.

"If anyone deserves forgiveness for a mistake they couldn't avoid, it's you. Think of all the people you've helped, all the lives you've saved, all the times you have put others before you, all the days you have brightened. If the girl today knew that, she wouldn't be angry, she would be grateful that you tried your best to save her. I've said this to you before, Jay, and I'll say it a thousand times again; you helped me love life again. I can't imagine a world without you. So you need to forgive yourself, you deserve it, because there are people who need you, and there will be more."

There was a comfortable silence, one where we communicated emotions through our eyes. No more words were said, not that any needed to be right now. He pulled me into a hug, and that was all the reply I needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just want to talk about this chapter. I know this isn't necessarily how Jay would react at this point in the show, but I believe that if he was extremely connected with someone, like how he was beginning to be with Erin and hopefully will be with Hailey, he would be able to show his vulnerable side to them and not shut down in front of them or push them away. I wanted to show through this chapter the strength of the connection between Maddie and Jay. She almost knows what he's thinking, and she knows how to prove to him that he deserves happiness, without pushing past any of his limits. He knows that he can show her a side to himself that he tends to lock away and hide by putting up a front and acting like everything is okay and then later dealing with it on his own. But the level of understanding that these two characters have between them is greater than anything I believe we have seen Jay have with someone on the show, and I wanted to showcase that and explain my reasoning for his actions in this chapter to anyone thinking that this isn't how he would react if this were to happen in an episode.
> 
> Anyways, as always, votes and comments are highly appreciated, especially on this chapter as I would love to know your thoughts on this <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4oS_-tOvU0&feature=youtu.be
> 
> So, as you can see, I've linked a song above. What I want you to do, is where I've written '(Play song)' , you play it. Simple xD. I've talked more about including a song in the note at the end. Enjoy :)

A few weeks have passed since the incident. And I can't lie; they've been painful. After our talk overlooking the city, Jay and I went back to my place, where I cooked dinner whilst he had a shower to wash away what he could of the day. Then we sat on the couch, under a blanket, cuddled up together whilst we played some quiet music in the background.

It was that night the nightmares began. I woke up to hear him whimpering, crying, reaching out then holding himself. I coaxed him awake as gently as I could, but no amount of care would have awoken him without a jump. He looked at me through terrified eyes, sweat dripping down his forehead and his muscles tense. I held him until he fell back to sleep, which took a long time.

The next day, we arrived at the precinct earlier than usual as we had to do our paperwork from yesterday. I offered to do Jay's for him, given that I didn't want him to have to relive what happened more than he already did when it tormented his thoughts, but he declined. He said I didn't know what happened whilst he was on his own, which I already assumed but I still needed to ask. Then we both did our paperwork, which also consisted of me giving several concerned glances over to Jay's desk.

Then an hour or so later, everyone started trailing in, asking Jay how he was feeling more times than he found to be comforting, but he didn't snap at them.

Several moments later and Voight came out of his office, asking for Jay. They both went into his office, and then after a few minutes, Jay came storming out, grabbing his jacket then leaving the bullpen. I looked to Voight, who was now stood in the doorway to his office, and he gestured for me to join him. He told me that Jay had to go speak to IRT about the incident and clear his name of any wrongdoing, just as a formality. I nodded and went back to my desk, waiting for Jay to return.

From then on, Jay got worse. More intense nightmares, more irritable, more shut-down, more cautious on the job. It was then I told him he needed to speak to someone professional, which he hesitated at first before agreeing. And when he did go to his therapist and PTSD support group, I supported him by driving him there, waiting for him in the car and then asking him how it went, happy with as little or as much as he wanted to tell me.

It took him a few weeks to get to where he is today, but he's better, almost back to his normal self. He's still a little uneasy at times, but that's only when he's having a bad day. He also seems a little distant, not just to me but to Will and the rest of our friends, but he isn't so bad that it's unbearable. It was almost as if he was scared to see what we think of him now, how our view of him has changed. Instead of saying it outright, though, that he is still the same to me, I have been acting as if everything is normal, doing ordinary things that would happen before, like suggesting we go to Molly's, cracking jokes, turning on the Blackhawks game to sit and watch with him. I still didn't understand ice hockey that well, and the concentration on his face as he explains to me the rules and what's happening along with the enthusiasm he shows when they score is a welcoming sight.

So tonight, when we got in after his session with his therapist, that was part of my plan. We went to his house, which isn't unusual, given that there had been few nights recently where we slept separately. It was mainly for Jay's benefit, as he didn't seem to have terribly bad nights when we were together, but also because we enjoyed each other's company.

He searched for his keys in his jacket pocket as we walked along the corridor to his apartment, engaging in light conversation about anything and everything. He opened the door and gestured for me to go in first, all with a smile.

I missed his smile for those few weeks where he wasn't the same. You don't realise how much you love the little things until they're gone. But he has been lighter these past few days, so there had been more smiles tugging at his lips which truly brightened my day.

"Why don't you go watch the start of the game whilst I have a shower, then we'll make dinner?" I suggested as I took his jacket and hung both of ours up on the coat rack, then smiled over my shoulder at him.

"Yeah, sounds good to me." He smiled back, but it was only a half-smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. Something was said during his session that had caused him to have some underlying thoughts, and I could tell he wasn't ready to voice them yet, which I can respect.

I padded into the bedroom to grab my towel and few other bits, and then I went into the bathroom and showered. When I got out, I put on one of Jay's sweatshirts that passed my butt and hung just above my mid-thighs, then pulled on a pair of my sweatpants. I braided my damp hair into Dutch braids, then left the bedroom. I expected to find Jay on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, but he wasn't there. I rounded the corner to the kitchen and found him leaning back on the counter, facing me, hands clutching the edge of it.

He wasn't in a daze, but he was thinking, and when he sensed my presence, he looked up with determined eyes at where I was resting my side against the wall. He walked over to me, encasing me in a hug that I wasn't expecting, but welcomed openly. He smelt inviting and comforting with the scent of eucalyptus and cedar wood I have always loved. He pulled away and looked into my eyes with his own, although for the first time in ages they were twinkling.

"Come on." He said with a mischievous smile, grabbing a hold of my hand and pulling me out of the apartment behind him.

I laughed at him. He pulled us towards the steps and proceeded to climb them very fast, almost quicker than I could keep up with. "Jay, I look ridiculous, what are you doing?" I chuckled.

He stopped on his mission, turning around to kiss me chastely on the lips. "You look beautiful. Now, come on."

We finally reach the top of the stairs, where we emerged onto the roof. His apartment building had a rooftop garden on it which was upkept by anyone in the building who wanted to. There were a large variety of trees, plants and water features, creating a magical wonderland full of secrets. In the centre was the main feature; a bandstand, painted in silvery shades. He pulled me into it, and we were at his final destination.

He held me close, looking down into my eyes with the passion I have been missing. He kissed my forehead then pulled away, getting out his phone. "Dance with me." He smiled, pressing play on his phone so that a song started then placing it on the side of the bandstand (Play song). He joined me once again, placing his hands firmly on my waist, causing my skin to tingle under his touch. 

"What?" I laughed, looking into his eyes to see his genuity.

"Dance with me." He repeated, a smile causing his words to tinkle.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as the song continued to play. We swayed with the beat, staring into each other's eyes and not breaking it. When it got to the chorus, he grabbed my hand, spinning me like a princess, which caused me to laugh uncontrollably, but we continued to dance. We didn't stop until the music ended, and when it did, we were practically hugging, with my head laid on his chest and him pressing whispers of kisses to my hair.

"Thank you." He murmured.

"Hmm?" I hummed contently.

"I know I've been distant recently, trying to sort my head out. I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else while I did so I just need some space. So thank you. Thank you for not pushing. Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for being there for me every step of the way. I can't tell you how much that means to me, but I hope I can show you someday."

I lifted my head to look at his face and the sincerity it showed. He smiled at me and I returned it.

"I told you, I'm always here for you, and I mean that. That's what 'I love you' means. And I love you, Jay Halstead."

"And I love you, Madeleine Turner. I always will."

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me, the type of kiss that said more than words ever could. Because there is no way on this earth that we could stop loving each other. Not now. Not ever. Not with the unbreakable bond between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you love the fluff as much as I do. 🥰 And I wanted to play around with including some songs into the story at times, so here it is in this chapter.
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment what you think!


	26. Chapter 26

A month or so later, and Jay was pretty much back to his normal self. After the night on the roof, he felt comfortable around us all once again, and I honestly couldn't be happier that he managed to overcome it. He had bad days, but then, who doesn't? At least now he reached out for our help when he needed it, no hesitation.

We were in the bullpen, chatting with each other whilst we updated some case files or asked our CIs for any intel. I was trying to find a case file in my drawer, which I was a little frustrated at as I had put in in the wrong place and I couldn't find it. It was pretty unlike me, so it was _extra_ frustrating.

I bit my lip in concentration, continuing to search around like I had for the past few minutes. I had just found it when I heard my phone buzz. I closed the drawer, put the file on my desk and picked up my phone from next to my keyboard.

It was a text from Jay.

_Jay: Stop biting that lip. You know it drives me crazy._

I looked up, finding him looking straight at me, his eyes darker than usual. _Oh._ I licked my lips, and then,once again, I took my bottom lip between my teeth, just to tease him. He closed his eyes and breathed out, then opened them and looked straight at me again with a sultry glint in his eye. I laid my phone down on my desk and tapped at the screen, typing out a message to him.

_Maddie: Then stop looking at me like that, it's making me wet._

He had his phone on silent, so when I looked up at him through my eyelashes, he got the hint to check his phone. He read it, then pressed his lips into a thin line, attempting to control himself. I bet he's getting hard, which in turn was only making me more aroused and inclined to tease him.

I hadn't noticed him writing out another message until it came through to my phone.

_Jay: I wish I could control myself better around you, but when I see you, all I want to do is rip your clothes off and fuck you._

Oh god.

_Maddie: Trust me, if it was just us in here right now, I would be on my knees with your cock in my mouth._

After he read that, he visibly shivered, inhaling sharply. I'm glad he is back to his normal self, and it isn't just about the sex we are both imagining right now (and don't get me wrong, the sex is fucking mind blowing), it was the connection we have with each other, the fact we feel so strongly about each other that a smile is enough to make my knees weak. That is one of the things I love about our relationship. Also, the teasing is a plus, both platonic and sexual.

"You okay, buddy?" Adam called over from his desk, looking over at Jay. Oh shit.

"Yeah, just reading over the file from that Johnstone case a few weeks back, still gives me chills." Jay replied, coolly. I have to give it to him, he played it off well.

"Same here." Adam muttered, turning back to his desk. I looked up and made eye contact with Jay. He smiled at me and shook his head slightly. I simply shrugged my shoulders and continued on with my work.

It must have been around twenty minutes later when I heard Kim groan very loudly. I turned my head in her direction to see her rubbing her face with her hands, then pulling them away and making eye contact with me. I quirked my eyebrow.

"Is anyone else sick of paperwork?" She asked, looking around the bullpen. She was returned a few mumbles of agreeance. "I really need some fun in my life."

"How about a girls' night?" Hailey spoke up from her desk, lifting her head to see if we agreed.

"I mean, I'm in. Maddie?" Kim asked.

"Sure, and I can ask round to see if others wanna join." I replied, nodding in the girls' direction before stuffing a file back into my drawer.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go make a lunch run, do you two wanna join and we can discuss in the car?" Hailey said standing up and pulling out her pad, ready to receive the orders from everyone.

We agreed and waited for Hailey to be done with her waitress duties before going down the stairs and getting in Hailey's car.

"So, who's place?" Kim asked as Hailey pulled out of the parking lot.

"I don't mind hosting." I chimed.

"And if we get everyone to bring something like wine or food then that would be good." Hailey added.

"I'll ask when I text them then." I said, making a mental note as I pulled out my phone.

***

"Are you sure you can't ditch girls' night and stay here with me?" Jay whined from his spot on the couch, where I was mere seconds ago, curled up next to him watching an episode of Black Mirror after our dinner.

"You can have me tomorrow night, but it's gonna cost you $10 an hour." I joked, pulling on my coat over near the door.

"That's pretty reasonable. You have yourself a deal." He jabbed back, finally hauling himself off of the couch and walking over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close for a kiss before I left.

"Drive safe." He murmured as he pulled back.

"I will. I'll talk to you later." I smiled as I walked through the door he opened for me.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

***

I got in five minutes before I heard the first knock at the door. Kim and Hailey were the first to show up, followed by Stella, Emily and Sylvie and then lastly, Natalie. We all got comfortable in the living room area, sat under blankets and on soft cushions, picking at snacks whilst we drank wine and talked.

"So, have you made a move yet, Sylv?" I asked, sort of out of the blue, which caused Emily to almost spit out her wine and Sylvie's eyes to almost pop out of her head.

"What? I, um, I don't know-" Sylvie stuttered out.

"Oh, come on, Sylvie, you know exactly what we're talking about." Stella teased, causing all of us to laugh, including Sylvie.

"Fine. No, I haven't ' _made a move'_ yet. It's just complicated, that's all. Plus, Matt doesn't even feel the same so what's the point in making a fool out of myself."

"Girl," Kim began. "If he looks at the you all the time the same as he does at Molly's, then he definitely feels the same. Just go for it. What do you have to lose?"

"Erm, a friendship?" Sylvie stated as if it was obvious. "Wait, he looks at me at Molly's?"

We all shared a chuckle at how her eyes lit up with that last sentence.

"He wouldn't throw away your friendship if you just confessed how you feel. Anyway, that wouldn't happen, because he feels the same." Hailey shrugged, sipping her wine.

"Can we move on from my miserable attempt at a love life?" Sylvie laughed. "Maddie, care to share anything?"

"Hm?" I hummed, looking up from the bowl of chips I was previously eyeing up.

"Yeah, Maddie, how about you tell us about your shower the other week?" Kim wiggled her eyebrows and I swear my eyes nearly shot out of my head. Laughter resounded throughout the room.

"My what?" I tried to play dumb, but my bright red cheeks did more than enough of the talking. She's talking about the shower me and Jay shared the other week at the district that turned out to be a little less innocent than just a shower.

"Don't even try to deny it. Adam told us all at Molly's when he got back after his CI meet up." Hailey laughed.

I smirked and shrugged my shoulders. "We just needed to spend some quality time together, that's all."

"I bet it was some quality time alright." Nat murmured, and we all erupted into laughter.

"Have you two thought about moving in together yet?" Emily asked once the giggles died down.

"It hasn't come up." I shrugged. "I mean, we spend nearly every night together, so I guess we already kinda live together, in a way. We moved pretty fast in getting together in the first place, so I'm happy savouring what we have right now. Don't want him to get sick of me too fast." I finished off with a joke, not wanting to get too sappy.

"Maddie, Jay Halstead loves you more than the night sky loves its stars. There's no way on this earth that he could get sick of you." Natalie smiled at me. I could feel another blush threatening to tint my cheeks.

"I second that. The boy is like a lovesick puppy dog." Stella chuckled, and we all laughed too.

"I'm gonna go see how that popcorn's doing." I said, standing up and going to kitchen.

I could feel the tears that were threatening to fall, and I didn't want to cry in front of my friends right now. I wasn't sad, not in the slightest. The tears were there because it hit me; Jay Halstead loves me. I knew that before, of course I did, he shows me that every day. But with the lovely words the girls were saying, it just hit me like a ton of bricks dropping from a skyscraper. The man I love loves me back, and I will never get used to hearing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment! It really motivates me to write more, as I know people actually want me to xP


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wv5G58YRAU
> 
> So, same deal with the song in this chapter. Where I have written '(Play song)' is where you play the song above ^^^

"Hey, so do you really think this kid knows about the abductions?" I asked Jay as we drove in the car to arrest someone who could be vital to our investigation.

We were on a case about a girl being kidnapped nearly a week ago now, and although we originally thought it was your average case, with every piece of evidence the plot thickened. That, and there were more abductions. Overall, there had been four, each different in nearly every way. Different genders, different ages, different races, different areas, different times. We were baffled, to say the least. Until we found security footage of the fourth kidnapping, showing a gang member harassing the young woman outside her place of work, then following her to her car in a nearby alleyway before pistol whipping her and knocking her out cold. We ran that guy through facial rec and got a name; Leon Sanchez, a know member of the Latin Kings. Problem is, we have no idea how to find this guy. He wasn't at his last known address and hasn't been for days and wasn't at any of the Latin Kings hangouts. The only lead we have on him is his little brother, Dominic, who happens to be one of his latest recruits. He's pretty fresh into the gang, so we're hoping it won't take him long to flip. So that's where Jay and I are driving to.

"Probably, but who knows? He's still pretty new and young, so they might not tell him much if they're still hazing him in." Jay replied, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yep..."

We pulled up to his parent's house and got out of the car, jogging up the front steps. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. We heard footsteps approaching before the door swung open.

"Yes?" The short, Latino man with no hair and tired eyes asked in a very thick accent.

"Hello, sir, I'm Detective Halstead and this is Detective Turner. Is your son, Dominic, home?" Jay asked, showing him his badge on his belt.

"He's not." Suddenly the man seemed more alert and stand-offish.

Before we could push further, I saw someone walking down the stairs behind the father.

"Dominic Sanchez?" I asked, peering around the father, who was stood very guard-like in the doorway.

The kid behind looked like a deer in the headlights, before taking off running out of the back of the house. I tried to push through, managing to get past the father as Jay went around the side of the house, but the father grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me back, harshly.

"Let go of me!" I shouted, squirming and tugging to get out of his grasp. His grip remained firm, tight around my arm as he stared into my eyes. It reminded me of Roger, his forceful hold to cast his control over me. But I couldn't let that seep any further into my thoughts, so I yanked my arm as hard as I could, hitting his upper arm with my balled-up fist, but it was to no avail.

"Please, mi hijo is innocent!" He pleaded, desperately. Then, finally, I managed to pull myself away from him and I ran out of the back door. He was shouting behind me, but from what I could tell, he made no advancements towards me, settling for breaking down in the doorway to his home.

I stood in the empty street, gun in my hand, looking around frantically like a lost child for any sign of Jay or Dominic, but it was like a wasteland. If I was in a mood for humour, I might have seen a tumbleweed.

"Jay, where are you?" I radioed. No answer.

I tried again: "5021 – George, do you copy?" But again, no answer. I was panicking, even though I desperately wanted to remain in control of myself. My feet moved in a certain direction, not because of reason. If I had to guess, I think my mind was subconsciously controlling them.

"Jay, are you there?" I was worried now, my eyes darting around as I jogged down the street. Was he shot? I didn't hear gunshots, but I was so focused on releasing myself from the father's grip that I wasn't listening out for anything. I didn't hear screams, but I'm not sure if that was a good or bad sign, which is a little sadistic. Mainly because if I did hear them, I would know which direction to run, at least.

I had no idea where they were, or if my partner was okay. Why wasn't he replying?

Then I heard gunshots.

They were coming from the direction I was going, so I sped up, racing to the end of the street.

"This is 5021 – George, shots fired at and by the police at 44th and Michigan, offender down, roll an ambo to my location." I heard Jay say over the radio. 44th and Michigan? That was 3 blocks away.

I continued sprinting and found a crowd of people outside of a corner store. I pushed through, shouting for everyone to clear out before my eyes landed on Jay knelt next to Dominic on the pavement, putting pressure on a chest wound. When he heard my footsteps, he turned his head to look at me. I gave him a 'what the hell' look and he gave me an 'I'm sorry' look. Sure, I'm glad he caught the guy, but I'm pissed that he didn't radio where he was. There's a reason you have back-up.

I looked down at the kid then knelt on the other side to Jay. I could hear his chest hissing, which wasn't good.

"Wait, do you hear that?" I asked Jay.

He looked at me weirdly before looking down at Dominic, listening for a few seconds and then nodding. "Yeah."

I got out my wallet and pulled out a debit card. "Move your hands." I said to Jay.

"What are you doing?" Jay asked, confused, as I tried to move his hands away from the wound.

"Trust me." I said, looking up and into his eyes.

He did as I said, and as he lifted his hands, I place my card over the hole, stopping any air from entering the hole and stopping the kid from having a tension pneumothorax.

The ambulance soon arrived, and Brett and Foster jumped out and came over to us.

"Dominic Sanchez, took a bullet to the chest." Jay said.

Sylvie knelt beside Dominic where Jay was before. She looked at what I was doing.

"It was hissing, classic sucking chest wound. I put my card over the hole to create a seal and made sure he didn't develop a tension pneumo." I said to Sylvie.

She nodded and smiled, a little impressed. "Good idea, nice job. Foster, I need a chest seal."

Sylvie applied the seal and I stepped back, letting her work, and went to stand by Jay.

"Why the hell didn't you call in where you were going? And why didn't you answer my calls?" I whispered at Jay, a little pissed off.

"He was jumping over shit and going around corners, plus they were all back streets until he ran onto here. Then he turned and pulled a gun, so I shot. I'm sorry, I really didn't get a chance."

I sighed, looking at my feet. "There's a reason you have a partner, Jay. It would have taken two seconds to radio in."

"I know, I know, I just didn't want to lose him. This is the only solid chance we have at finding his brother after hitting so many dead ends, so I couldn't risk losing him. Still, I'm sorry."

Fair. But still. Anyways, I nodded and waited for Brett and Foster to get Dominic into the ambo.

"Med?" I asked Foster.

"Yeah, one of you coming with us?" She asked, looking between me and Jay. I motioned for him to hop on.

"You go, I'll get the car and meet you there." I said. He nodded and got in the back with Foster, still looking a little remorseful and reluctant. Probably because it felt like there were some words still left to be said, but now wasn't the time.

I shut the door behind them, banging on it twice to let Brett know she can go then walked back towards where we parked when she drove off.

I arrived at Med a fair few minutes after them. Jay was leaning against the nurse's station with his back to me, waiting for the doctor to come out from treating Dominic, passing the time by talking to Will. I walked through the doors from the waiting room to the ED. Will noticed me and nodded in my direction. Jay turned around as I got to them.

"Hey Maddie, how are you?" Will smiled.

"I'm good, you?"

"Yeah, all good here." He replied. Jay was looking at his feet whilst I was looking into the room where Dominic was being treated. Will looked between us, noticing something was up.

"What did he do?" He asked, glaring at Jay and crossing his arms. I chuckled.

"Why do you always think it's me?" Jay asked, feeling like he can't win today.

"Because it always is." Will deadpanned with no hesitation.

Before anyone could add anything, Dominic was pushed out on the gurney towards the hybrid OR. Dr Marcel walked out after, pulling off his gloves and throwing them away.

"The bullet's lodged in his chest cavity so I need to operate to remove it, but I'm optimistic he'll pull through. You won't be able to speak to him for a few hours yet, though." He told us.

"Thanks, doc." Jay said, and I nodded, before Dr Marcel left.

"We'll be seeing you, then, Will. Have a good day." I said, waving as I turned to leave.

"You too." He said, smiling.

"See you, bro." Jay said.

"See you later."

We both went to the bathroom to wash our hands of blood before going out and getting into the car.

I was driving this time, but I could feel Jay's eyes burning into the side of my face every so often before he turned to look pensively out of the window. He finally had enough.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked, quite quietly, about halfway back to the district. He had called Voight as we left to let him know the situation.

"Not really," I replied, keeping my eyes on the road. "But I need time to decompress. I'll be good soon, I promise."

"...decompress?"

"Shut it." I laughed, turning to see his smile.

When we arrived back at the district, we walked up the steps to the bullpen to find the team in a misshapen semi-circle around the board. They turned around as they heard us.

"It's gonna be a few hours before we get anything from him." I said, going to put my jacket over my chair then joining the rest of the team.

Voight didn't look impressed. "It's late, you should all go home and come back early tomorrow with a fresh set of eyes."

We all nodded and went to our desks or lockers to pick up our things. As Jay and I started walking down the centre of the desks, Voight called out. "Halstead, my office."

We stopped and looked at each other. Jay sighed, throwing his head back, then put his hand on my shoulder. "My place?"

I nodded.

"You've got that key I gave you, right?"

"Yup." I dangled my set of keys then left down the stairs, but not before throwing a glance over my shoulder to watch Jay closing Voight's door behind him.

***

I assume whatever Voight wanted, it wasn't good. So when I got in, I got changed into one of Jay's sweatshirts and then began making his favourite meal; lasagne. I turned on some music, singing and dancing around the kitchen whilst making the food, enjoying myself. I didn't even hear Jay coming in half an hour later, so I jumped when I felt his hands on my waist, interrupting me mid-routine.

He kissed my neck from behind, causing me to smile and put down the spoon in my hand before turning around to kiss him on the lips.

I pulled back and examined his face. He looked pretty stressed, with a tightened jaw and eyes more tired than when I saw him last, so I left his hold to go turn off the music.

"What's up?" I asked, jumping up to sit on the counter to face him. He leant back against the island and sighed, closing his eyes. He stuffed his hands, which were previously balled up into fists, into his jean pockets.

"Just Voight. He wasn't happy about me not radioing in fast enough when chasing Dominic, and that I was lucky he didn't shoot me, because you wouldn't have been able to help." He said, opening his eyes to look at me, radiating how defeated and sorry he was.

I shrugged. "Hindsight is a wonderful thing. At least you know for the future, but don't dwell on it, it won't do you any good."

"I guess..." He was still feeling down. "I really am sorry."

"I know."

"I wasn't thinking properly, I was just so focused on getting him."

"I know."

He attempted a small smile in my direction, but it was weak, not to mention he immediately cast his eyes down after.

I had an idea.

I hopped off the counter and pressed play on the music (Play song). I spun around to Jay, who was now looking very confused.

"Dance it out." I said, going over to him with a bounce in my step, taking his hands in mine and beginning to dance a little.

"Erm, what now?" He smiled, furrowing his brows – which is pretty damn cute- but not doing as I said.

"C'mon, dance it out." I laughed out, shrugging my shoulders then starting to jump around and sing along, very out of tune, throwing my arms up in the air, my hair flying everywhere.

He continued to chuckle but joined me, and soon we were dancing like crazy people around the apartment, singing so loud we nearly overpowered the music and most likely warranting a noise complaint, but we didn't care. We were two happy idiots having a fun time to shake away the stresses of the day. When the song finished, we were both very out of breath, a little sweaty and smiling like fools, but Jay was happier for it.

"Better?" I asked, walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Better." He smiled, kissing me chastely on the lips. "Thank you."

We kissed again, before we both went to get the lasagne out of the oven and continue with our nights, but with a lighter atmosphere in the apartment and a few more laughs than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave kudos and comment your thoughts!


	28. Chapter 28

****_Smut Warning_ ** **

It was another normal day at work. I suppose that's if you can call my job normal. Everyone had just gotten in, and we were strewn about all over the place: locker room, bullpen, break room. It was just...ordinary. Which is a good thing, of course it is, but I just didn't feel like having an ordinary day.

A few minutes later and Voight came out of his office, saying we caught a case. Apparently, a CI of Kevin's had a pretty good tip involving an arms dealer, who also happened to be a very old-fashioned criminal. Which meant no phones and strictly family or people he trusts wholeheartedly with his business. His name is William Richardson, and from the outside, he looks like your average businessman who struck lucky and rose to the top of the societal food chain. However, delving deeper, you discover a whole treasury of illegalities that have wrongly awarded him his wealth.

The tip from the CI was that Richardson was bringing his cargo to Chicago and was looking for customers. Our plan was to set up a buy, with Adam posing as a potential customer. It took three whole days to come somewhat close to Richardson accepting a deal, only for him to cut it off completely once we thought we were getting somewhere, making most of what we had done so far completely worthless.

"Damn it." Adam said, punching his desk. We had all just returned from where Adam was supposed to meet Richardson and his crew. But instead of a huge bust and getting hundreds of firearms and dozens of criminals off the street, we were given the news that "the deal is off, and we are severing contact". It was even more frustrating that it came through a simple, five-second phone call from one of Richardson's guys. So now we were all sat on the edges of our desks or pacing up and down, examining the board as if the answer to intercepting the deal was written on it in very small writing.

"Okay, so looks like we're not gonna have luck with setting up a deal." Hailey stated, arms crossed, brows furrowed in frustration. To be fair, she mirrored the majority of us right now and it expressed perfectly how we were feeling. It's like having the world's most amazing meal wafted right under your nose, only to have it ripped from your reach as soon as you'd picked up your knife and fork.

"That was Atwater," Voight said after putting down the phone. Kevin had gone to see his CI to find out why the hell Richardson called off the meet. "Apparently Richardson got a bigger and better offer for the guns from another buyer."

"And we can't make a better deal than them?" Jay lifted his head to look at Voight, a trace of hope evident in his voice.

Hank merely shook his head, then, before Jay could explode with questions, he offered an explanation. "We have no way of contacting Richardson, and even if we did, there's no way I can get the higher-ups to agree on signing out more of the 1505 funds with such short notice."

"It's still something to work with though. At least we know there is still a meet going down." Kim offered.

"Yeah, but we have no idea where or when." Adam countered. It felt like we were going round in circles.

"I think I know how we can find out..." I said, the cogs in my brain turning as I put together a plan. Everyone turned to me with intrigue evident on their faces. "We know he's staying at the Four Seasons, right? We could plant a bug to listen into his conversations."

Voight was scratching his chin in thought. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

I explained my plan about going undercover as someone who works at the hotel, possibly have to flirt my way in a bit but to be honest, it's part of the job description. The boss nodded along with what I was saying, so we all developed the plan a little more and then Voight said he'd make the necessary phone calls for us to go through with the plan, so we were left to our own devices to go over whatever we needed to again.

***

Since it was my idea, it was decided I should be the one going under, and apparently I am so good that I missed my 'calling as an actor', as Adam put it. I had just gotten changed into the uniform, and I swear to God, I felt so out of character. I suppose that's a good thing, seeing as I was supposed to be a business manageress who might have to act a little flirty to make her way past the bodyguards at the door. Even so, the low neckline and _very_ tight skirt weren't going to go unnoticed. As satisfied as I will ever be with the uniform, I slipped on my heels and then left the locker room to go downstairs where the rest of the team were suiting up.

They must have heard me before they saw me, as when I emerged at the bottom of the stairs, nearly everyone's eyes were on me.

"You can stop gawking, now. I'm looking at you, Adam." I chuckled, stepping off the bottom step and walking over to the table they were somewhat gathered around.

"You sure look like a manageress, but how's your English accent gonna pass?" Kim smiled, tilting her head questioningly as Adam sorted out her vest.

"What English accent? I was born and raised in Canaryville." I replied in the best Chicago accent I could muster, cocking my head teasingly.

"Well, you sound more like a Chicagoan than I do so I say you're good." Adam chuckled and everyone laughed.

"I want Hailey and Jay in the surveillance van and dropping Maddie off around the corner from the hotel, and the rest of you in partners in your own cars." Voight said as I was setting my earpiece up, and we all nodded.

Speaking of Jay, he seemed a little distracted ever since I walked down the stairs. He was finishing strapping Hailey's vest up when he caught sight of me, and he immediately stopped. I thought nothing of it, but even now whilst getting in the van he seemed a little on edge. His knuckles gripping onto the wheel were white, and the one finger that wasn't tightly wound was tapping annoyingly. Hailey sat in the back whilst me and Jay were up front, and me and her were having a conversation that Jay didn't attempt to join in on once. In fact, I don't even think his eyes wandered from the road. However, his mind wasn't on driving at all times. He almost missed two red lights _and_ a stop sign, which is unusual for him. I turned around in my seat to look at Hailey and she simply shrugged her shoulders, as she had no idea what was on his mind either.

We soon pulled up to the hotel and I was out, walking into the hotel and being greeted by the actual manager. She told me all I needed to know and gave me her spare name badge. I made my way up to the floor where Richardson was staying, and even if I didn't know the room number, I would have known where he was staying.

Two tall men dressed in immaculate black suits were stood either side of the door. Their facial expressions were stone cold until they realised I was making my way towards them, which caused them to emit a flash of human emotion before standing even bulkier than before. Getting into character, I continued down the corridor, my sweetest smile gracing my lips.

"Good morning, gentlemen. I need to speak to Mr Richardson regarding an issue with his room. Am I okay to enter?"

They both looked me up and down like I was a piece of art, and I could almost hear Jay's scoff from here, given that they could see and hear what was happening from the wire I was wearing. I attempted to use their interest to my advantage, shifting ever so slightly to give them a better view, no matter how much it disgusted me.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I can't allow you in."

Now for the proper act. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and tilted my head slightly, batting my eyelashes. "It won't take long, I promise. I'll be out of your hair in no time."

After exchanging a glance with each other, the one on the right held his sleeve up to his mouth and spoke into it. "Sir, there is a hotel manager here wanting to speak to you."

I can't believe that worked. Some bodyguards, am I right?

A few moments passed where none of us moved, and then the one on the right opened the door to the room. I smiled graciously at him before making my way inside. The room was luxurious, to say the least. Gold trimmings adorned the room from corner to corner, and the hotel definitely didn't spare any expense. Soon Richardson appeared from around the corner, dressed in only a bath robe, smoking a cigar. He was a stubby man, just older than middle age, and despite all of the grandeur and glamour that surrounded him, his aura was thick with rigidity and hardship.

"Good morning, sir, I've been sent to check your landline. Other guests on this floor have been having trouble with theirs."

Not even polite enough to use words, he waved his hand to tell me I can do whatever before he returned to wherever he came from. I placed three bugs around the room, keeping an eye on the doorway Richardson left through. I could hear a TV in the other room, so I assume he wouldn't be joining me anytime soon.

"Are we up?" I whispered, knowing the team could hear me. There was a beat of silence before I got a response.

_"All good. You can get out of there."_

But before I could get out of there, Richardson appeared once again, a confusion planting lines between his brows.

"Is everything alright, sir?"

The glare he shot my way was definitely something, and it was exploratory. He had a suspicion.

"Why did they send you? A technician come to sort out the landline."

I inwardly gulped, not physically doing it, but having all of the feelings associated with it.

"We wanted to give you the best service possible, sir, and we weren't sure if you would trust the technicians to not _disturb_ your room."

He thought about that pensively. It was almost as if I were able to remove the first layer of the stare he still had fixed on me to see the thoughts floating around in his head.

"What's your name?"

"Daphne Fischer."

" _Daphne,_ how gorgeous." He drew out his words as he stepped towards me, stopping close enough that I could smell the cigar scent that lingered around him. He moved his focus away from my face and down to the name badge, which just so happened to be situated on my breast. _Great, I bet he's loving this._ "Such a lovely Roman mythological name for a beautiful woman."

I smiled at him. He was testing me, trying to catch me out. "Close. It's of Greek origin. My parents loved the story of the nymph daughter of river god, Peneus. He saved his daughter from Apollo's romantic obsessions by turning her into a laurel tree."

He smiled his hideous smile at me, and I could feel the need to throw up rising. Still, I smiled back.

"I hope to see you again, Miss Fischer." He said, then retreated back around the corner. I quietly let out the breath I didn't realised I was holding, then recomposed myself before I left.I closed the door on my way out, turning to the bodyguards before I went.

"Have a good day, gentlemen." I smiled before I walked back to the elevators, all the while feeling their eyes fixed on my ass. I would feel a little objectified if I hadn't just fooled their asses.

***

“Good job everyone.” Voight said once we got back to the district. He carried on talking about what we do next whilst we were putting everything away (something about me and Jay taking the first shift to stay to listen and watch the wire footage live for any clues whilst the rest of them could go home and rest, ready for when the deal goes down), but all my attention was on Jay, who couldn’t take his eyes off of me. Or more specifically, off the lower half of my body. His stare held an undeniable heat, so much so I’m surprised he didn’t burn a hole in my pencil skirt. I kept stealing glances at him, both normally and out of the corner of my eye, but each time he had barely shifted.

When Voight was done, we all moved to put away our things, like the vests and long guns that the team had prepared. I chatted to Hailey for a little as she put away her things, seeing as I only had my earpiece to sort out. By the time she was done, everyone else had cleared out and gone back upstairs, just like she was doing now.

Everyone else but me and Jay.

I looked over in his direction to see him cleaning the barrel of his gun, despite it not needing to be cleaned. I thought nothing of it, going into the little tech room we had downstairs to put away my earpiece. I was just reaching up to the shelf when I heard the door to the tech room close.

I brought my arm back down and turned to see who it was, although I already knew. Jay was stood, his back against the door as he stared at me, the fire in his eyes momentarily stunning me.

I start walking over to him, a little concerned at his whole demeanour today, but before I could reach him, he was drawing the blinds and locking the door. Okay, now I was really concerned.

“What’s going on, Jay? Are you okay?” I reached out my hand to touch his arm.

But before I could, he wrapped his arms around me so that I was flush to his body, kissing me with so much fervour and passion it almost made me dizzy. In this position I could also feel the hard on growing in his pants that I had failed to notice before.

I pulled back, both to take a very much needed breath and to find out what had caused this spur of the moment make-out session.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s caused all this?” I smirked, the breathless undertone of my voice very noticeable.

“That fucking pencil skirt.” He said before diving back into my mouth eagerly. I had to stifle a laugh as his fingers began to fumble at my blazer buttons. I laid my hand over his before pulling back once more.

“That’s what’s had you so distracted?” I asked, very amused. He looked at me as if I’d asked the most stupid question in the world before nodding, a slight blush tinting his cheeks.

I lifted my hand to cup his cheek as I ran my thumb over his cheekbone. I leaned in closer to his ear, then whispered, “So what are you waiting for?” which I punctuated with a nibble at his ear.

And if he wasn’t turned on already, then he definitely was now. Whilst our tongues and lips fought in a battle, he finished opening the buttons on my blazer before pushing it off my shoulders. He went to undo my blouse, but I pulled back again.

“We don’t have time for that.” I breathed out, reached down to brush my fingers over the bulge in his pants before I began to unzip them.

He mentally agreed as he unzipped my skirt and bunched it up around my waist, pulling down my panties and allowing them to drop to my ankles, just like his trousers and boxers were.

We both kicked our garments off from our legs before I jumped, wrapping my legs around his hips as he grabs my ass, indulging in another kiss. He walks towards the desk until we bump into it, then he set me down on it, our lips parting for a split second. I lace my fingers through his hair as we explore each other’s mouths, holding off for as long as possible before the carnal need takes over.

I snake my other hand down his chest to his hardened and practically throbbing erection, causing him to suck in a little breath before he grabs my hips and pulls me to the edge of the desk. I heard how the papers underneath my naked rear crumpled up, but I couldn’t care less right now.

“I love you.” Jay whispers against my lips, and when I opened my mouth to respond, he thrust into me, deep and hard, making me yelp in pleasure as quietly as I could, a pleasure that rushed like a wave, coursing throughout my entire being. I clutched onto Jay’s shoulders, laying my forehead against his, trying to ignore the little smug grin that he wore and that I so wanted to wipe off his face but couldn’t seem to find the energy to. He slid his palms down my thighs, then raised my legs and push them against his hips before he starts moving, fast and animalistic.

He lowered his head and began drawing shapes on my neck using his lips and tongue, causing me to lean my head back to give him more access.

“Oh god…” I breathed out, trying to be silent but I’m barely holding on, so I bite down on my lip, whining through clenched teeth.

He continues drawing shapes but adds little nibbles that barely graze my skin but are enough to drive me crazy, so I dig my nails into his shoulders from the arousal radiating through me.

“Harder, Jay, _harder.”_ I whisper, and he finally lifts his head from my neck to face me, then attacks my lips with his before making his thrusts deeper and stronger, making the bliss that is already on the horizon closer and closer.

I ran my fingers through his hair again, tugging lightly at the short strands, but when he catches my bottom lip between his teeth, I became undone, trembling and quivering against him as his own ecstasy hits him. He moaned into my mouth as his hips slow and our joint euphoria ebbs away. His head falls into the crook of my neck as I lean my head against his.

When we have both regained enough energy to move, we pull apart, ever so slightly, smiling at each other.

“Remind me to wear pencil skirts more often.” I teased, looking into his eyes with a mischievous glint, to which he replied with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comment! It really means a lot to me and motivates me to write, as I know people actually want me to xP


	29. Chapter 29

"What's your favourite colour?" I mumbled as I aimlessly drew shapes with my finger in the sudsy water, causing small ripples to course along the surface of the bath.

"Blue...I think. Where is this coming from?" Jay chuckled as he traced lines up and down my thigh with his fingertips. After a long and hard case, we both decided a bath would be good for us, so now we were almost melded together in a concoction of bubbles and semi-warm water, which doesn't sound great, but it was doing wonders for my aching muscles.

"I don't know. I know it's a very high school thing to do but it just came to me, sorry."

"You don't have to apologise..." Jay said, trailing off towards the end of his sentence. I sensed he had something on his mind so I looked up from my spot on his chest and looked into his eyes, which confirmed my suspicions.

"What's on your mind?" I whispered, lifting my hand to cup his jaw.

"Is it because of that girl today?"

I smiled sympathetically at him. "Yes and no. Yes, because I realised that tomorrow isn't promised, and I want to know as much about you as you'll let me. And no, because I trust you, so I know that the person you show me is the person you really are. Her boyfriend led a double life and she was none the wiser. Maybe she would have realised if she wasn't so blinded by her so-called 'love' or even if she asked questions. Maybe she would be alive today."

We stayed silent for a moment after that, but I carried on.

"It's just...I feel like I'm finally happy and it'd be typical of the world to take that away right about now, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle it. I just want to make the most of the days we have, you know? Especially with our job."

"Yeah, I know." Jay said, kissing the top of my head, and silence rippled through the air once again

"So what's yours?"

"Hm?"

"What's your favourite colour?"

"Oh." I chuckled. "Yellow."

We laughed at how silly we sounded, smiling at each other before laughing again.

"I love you." I mumbled, looking up to kiss his cheek. I felt his cheek pull and his lips formed a smile.

"And I love you." He leant down to kiss my lips instead, a sweet kiss that told me more than words ever could. But then I heard a phone ringing from outside of the bathroom.

"Sounds like yours. You might want to get it." I said, starting to sit up so Jay could get out. Only Jay pulled me back down to his chest and nuzzled his face in my hair.

"If it's important they'll ring me back." He mumbled. I shook my head lightly and smirked. We waited for the phone to stop ringing and then when it did, it started ringing again. I chuckled as Jay groaned – which almost changed my mind about letting him leave the bathtub – and got out.

"Put a towel on, you're dripping all over."

"Don't act like you're not enjoying the show." He smirked over his shoulder and threw me a wink. I rolled my eyes and sank lower in the bath, leaning my head back on the tub and closing my eyes.

I heard Jay pick up the phone and talk to someone on the other end, pacing around outside of the bathroom before his voice got quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him. A few minutes passed before I heard footsteps approaching once more. I cracked open one eye to see Jay leaning on the doorframe, wearing only a pair of sweatpants, smiling at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just look so calm." He smiled, walking over to plant a kiss on my forehead. As he stood back up, he splashed me, giggling like a schoolboy.

"Not cool, Halstead." I said, shaking my head as I wiped away the water from my face, still smiling.

"I'll get started on dinner." He smiled at me before leaving.

I stayed for about five more minutes before I decided to get out and help Jay with dinner. I trudged into the kitchen in a pair of my own sweatpants and a t-shirt, admiring the view of a shirtless Jay working away in the kitchen, completely focused. I watched him for a few seconds, enjoying how the muscles in his back rippled as he moved, before he turned around and caught me staring, my eyes half open. He padded over to me, a jar of sauce still in his hand, and kissed my forehead, before sidestepping me and going to the refrigerator.

"Are you tired?" He asked, attention fully on the contents of the half-stocked refrigerator.

"Mm-hmm." I hummed my answer, standing up from my leaning stance on the wall, and walked over to where he was making dinner. "Noodles? Thought you were bored of them."

"To be honest, angel, you don't have much else." He chuckled as he joined me at his workstation.

"Translated from Jayish I'm guessing that means 'Mads, you need to go grocery shopping'." I smiled, lowering my voice to imitate him, causing a loud laugh to escape him before he could stifle it.

"Yes, yes it does." He chuckled. "It's nearly done, why don't you go sit down and I'll bring it to you."

"Ooh, table service, might have to keep you around." I teased, doing as he said, turning to look over my shoulder at him shaking his head in amusement.

***

We were almost finished with dinner, chatting and laughing, when my phone started to buzz. I looked over at it on the kitchen counter and thought to leave it, so I turned back to Jay and continued the conversation. That was until my phone buzzed again. And again. And again. I sighed, rolling my eyes, and stood up to go over to it.

"And I thought we'd be able to have a quiet night in tonight." Jay mumbled, a little frustrated, and rightly so. I was too. Even more so when I read the texts.

"You're gonna hate me for this," I groaned. "But I gotta go see a man about some drugs. I won't be long."

I walked over to the doorway to slip on my boots and a coat, grabbing my badge and gun from the side and stuffing them into my coat pockets. There was no way I was changing into something with a belt, so my pockets will have to suffice. I turned to look at Jay, who had yet to react verbally to my statement, which made it funnier when he looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Sorry, what?" He managed to strain out.

"My CI, dumbo." I laughed, and his face relaxed. "Did you really think I'm a crackwhore on the side? I'd have hoped you would've realised by now."

He shook his head whilst biting his lip as I collected my keys and unlocked the door. "Well, you do act like one at times but now I'm pretty sure it's just a part of your personality."

I gasped and clutched my chest in fake a offence, keeping up the act until the smile I was holding in finally emerged.

"Be safe." He called.

"Always." I replied, slipping out of the door and into the ridiculously bitter night.

***

It was about an hour later when I returned, and I swear my hands were like bricks of ice. It was abnormally cold in Chicago, and that's saying something. I was shivering so much it took me four attempts to get the key in the lock to open the door, so when I stepped over the threshold into my home and got hit with the warm air, thanks to the central heating, I almost cried with happiness. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I was freaking ecstatic.

I couldn't bring myself to take off my coat just yet, but I did slip off my shoes and put my badge and gun back in their previous spot. I noticed Jay sitting on the couch, sipping a beer, one of two set out on the coffee table his feet were propped up on as he indulged in whatever sports game was on the TV tonight. As much as his eyes may have been glued to the screen before I got home, he immediately looked over at me in the doorway as soon as I got in.

His eyes were flicking between me and the TV as I padded over to him, still shivering. I heard him murmur something about the second beer being for me as I practically threw myself on the couch next to him and snuggled up to his side, wrapping my arms around his torso as much as was humanly possible in a feeble attempt to use his radiating body heat to warm me up.

"Fucking hell, Maddie, does your CI live in the Arctic? You're freezing cold." He exclaimed, encasing me in his arms as his hands rubbed up and down me furiously to create friction and therefore heat.

"Well that's why I keep you around, silly." I mumbled against his chest, lifting my head slightly to see his furrowed brows in confusion. "You're my own personal heater. Like one of those stuffed animals you stick in the microwave."

"That's all I'm good for, is it?" He chuckled.

I shrugged, the smile I hadn't noticed on my face till now growing even wider. "Eh, it helps that you're easy on the eyes too."

That had us both laughing, and when we settled, we sat, unmoving, watching the hockey until it was finished, which also came with a bonus crash course from Jay on how it all works for the twelfth time this month, and I still didn't understand it that well. But there we were, sat so close we could give huddling penguins a run for their money, enjoying a quiet, albeit cold, night in.

"Move in with me."

It was almost so quiet I couldn't hear him, but absolutely nothing would have prevented me from hearing those words. The intitial shock caused me to sit up straight, almost fully out of Jay's embrace. I looked at his face, a smirk beginning to grow on his lips.

"Move in with me." He repeated, starting to sit up from his slouched position. "It doesn't have to be tomorrow, or next week, or this month, but I want to wake up every day with you next to me."

I didn't know I could smile as wide as I did, but I was so elated I was close to crying.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He laughed. "We've been together nearly 7 months, and that's a tiny fraction of the time I hope to be with you."

"Yes, yes, of course I'll move in with you." I smiled, leaning down to kiss him, a kiss so sweet I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a bit of a fluffy filler chapter to make your hearts feel warm and fuzzy 😂 
> 
> However, at the minute I have a massive case of writer's block, so that may mean slow updates, which I am extremely sorry about in advance. I majorly appreciate all of the love and support this story is getting. It really means so much to me that something I have created and put my passion into makes your days a little brighter.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated, and thank you so much for reading! ❤️


	30. Chapter 30

I love a good coffeehouse as much as the next person, but apparently so does every other citizen of Chicago at 8am on a Wednesday morning, as they all seem to be here at the coffeehouse around the corner from my apartment. That meant me and Jay were both stood in an abnormally long line waiting for our turn to order our first caffeine hit of the day. We started off our waiting with a conversation about a case Intelligence had before I got there, then moved on to one I had in SVU and then one I had back in London, which were never as dirty as the ones in either American unit. Not that there weren't some brutal goings-on in my hometown, just that my unit never got the gruesome ones.

But now we were stood in a comfortable silence, watching our surroundings like the detectives we were. I was examining the kid in the corner: still a teenager but dressing as adult-like as she could pass off, her brown hair flowing into blonde further down her back. As presentable her exterior was, the worried gaze of her fleeting eyes and the bouncing knee (that was starting to get on my nerves) showed she was anything but calm. She had a file laid out in front of her, not like our beige case file covers, more like an art folder to protect her work from grime, dust and the wandering eye. I turned back to face the counter and looked over at my partner, who was also people-watching, until he felt my eyes on him. When he looked at me, we shared a smile, knowing that we were both so achingly similar at times but can also be complete opposites.

For example, now that we had both moved on from our little personal test of our skills, Jay was stood very nonchalant with his hands in his jacket pockets, reading the board above the heads of the servers and biting the inside of his cheek. I, however, was very fidgety, running the pads of my fingertips over the cool metal of the badge attached to my belt, then moving on to fiddle with the hem of the part of my shirt I had failed to tuck into my pants like the rest and finally settling on fumbling with the radio I had in my hand. I twisted the dials to find different channels, settling on citywide, played around with the antenna and made sure all the components were in place and doing their job correctly.

That's when Jay rested his hand on my forearm, silently urging me to stop, which I did, and then I looked up at him. He wore an amused expression, a question dangling on the edge of his tongue that he so desperately wanted to ask. I raised an eyebrow to encourage him.

"Two things," He stated. "One: Is that my shirt?"

I laughed and looked at him, shrugging my shoulders. "Maybe. It looks better on me than you, anyway."

Jay squinted his eyes and tilted his head as he considered it. Content with his answer - which will probably be some witty comeback, knowing him – he leaned in closer to my ear. "Possibly, but it'd look best on my bedroom floor."

I tried to bite back a gasp but was too late, and the quick intake of air only fuelled his ego more. I looked at him and rolled my eyes, earning a chuckle. "So, your second thing?"

"Oh yeah, why do you play around with your radio? You always do it."

I chuckled to myself, turning to check on the status of the line, and it still looks like we've got a good three minutes left to go. I twisted my head back to look at Jay to tell the story, and he looks very intrigued.

"I guess I've always found radios cool, and not just the science behind them, even though that is really interesting, but the actual radio itself. I remember when I was a kid and I saw a police officer walking around with their radio, talking into it, hearing the buzz as it comes to life and just thinking 'That, that is what I want to do when I'm older'."

When I've finished, Jay is smiling at me, like an ear-to-ear grin.

"I know," I say before he has the satisfaction of dragging out the anticipation. "I'm a massive nerd and a bit of a freak, but that's what you're stuck with, I'm afraid."

"Yes, but not that. It's really sweet imagining a cute little Maddie running around London with pigtails and light-up sneakers being absolutely mesmerised by an officer. Where'd that cuteness go?" He teased, and I scoffed, swatting his arm playfully then smiling and shaking my head.

A few moments passed before I revealed something else. "I actually think I have a photo of me somewhere, about five years old, where a cop let me hold their radio." I laughed.

"Oh, I _need_ to see that." Jay chuckled. "I'm sure I have a few good ones to show you too."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

That's when Jay's phone started ringing. He answered it, and I immediately knew it was Voight. They talked for about a minute before Jay ended the call with a "Yes, sarge, we're on our way."

"Guess we won't be getting coffee this morning." I said as we stepped out of the line and then out of the store.

"Yup." Jay answered.

***

Voight's call, as Jay relayed on our drive, consisted of him telling us a woman had called in saying that her boyfriend had gone missing, and that patrol had requested Intelligence go to question her after sending a squad car out. We arrived at the house and got out of the car, knocking on the door and being met by a patrol officer who took us into the kitchen to meet the woman.

We greeted her and shook her hand. She looked to be in her late-30s, her blonde hair cut in a short bob that hung around her face, one that held a somewhat concerned expression.

"Hi, miss, I'm Detective Turner and this is Detective Halstead."

"Vanessa Anderson." She replied, punctuating her sentence with a small smile that didn't involve her eyes.

"So, Miss Anderson-" Jay started.

"Call me Vanessa, please."

"Okay, Vanessa, can you tell us what's going on?" Jay finished with a reassuring smiled.

"Yeah, okay," she breathed out, taking a moment to compose herself before continuing. "Well, my boyfriend, Patrick, never came home last night. So, I called 911, the officers came over and started asking me questions." She started pacing around the kitchen, gesturing frantically with her hands as she spoke, her voice wavering ever so slightly. "Then they said that the Intelligence unit would be better equipped handling this?"

"Has Patrick ever not come home before?" I asked, as Jay started wandering around the home, still within my view, to gather information.

"No, when he says 8:15, he means 8:15. He's very organised and disciplined." Vanessa said. She was searching around in a drawer now, for who knows what, but if it was keeping her mind busy and allowing her to answer our questions then I didn't have a problem with it.

"When did you last speak to him?" I continued my questioning.

"Um, last night, about 7:30. He was down near the Riverwalk, close to Navy Pier, just walking and clearing his head. He called to say he was on his way home, but then, he, um..." She walked past me and towards the main room, frantically shaking her head trying to remember. "He got r-real nervous. Like-like something had happened. Or was happening."

"What do you mean?" Jay, who was now stood behind me, asked.

"He said called the police. And I was like 'What are you talking about? What's going on?' but he didn't respond. I heard him saying to someone 'Please don't do this'." She turned around once again to go to a set of drawers in the corner of the room as she shuffled through its contents.

Me and Jay took a moment to glance at each other. This was...strange, to put it lightly.

"Did you hear anything else?" Jay pushed.

"I mean, yeah, I heard some voices, some yelling, but then the phone went dead."

"Has anything unusual been happening in Patrick's life? I mean any recent altercations or arguments." I said.

"Yeah, he got into an argument yesterday with a student. Said the kid tried to punch him. That's why he went down to the Riverwalk, he was feeling really bad about it."

"What was the kid's name?"

"I don't know." She laughed, nervously almost, more hopeless. "I can call the principal if you want?"

"It's okay, we can take it from here." I smiled at her, feeling a little sympathetic as I laid my hand on her shoulder, passing her a card with my number on in the process. "If anything else comes up, please call me."

***

Back at the district, we're all stood around the board, which has both Patrick and Vanessa's photos on it, ready to recap what we already know.

"Alright, we're looking for a man named Patrick Miller, he's an English teacher at West Harbour High. Been missing since yesterday evening. His last communication was with his girlfriend, Vanessa Anderson, at 7:27pm. During the call he told her to call the police, and his phone went dead shortly after. Based on what we know at the moment, Mr Miller appears to be an upstanding human being. Captain of the wrestling team, voted teacher of the year at West Harbour High not once, not twice but three times." I started.

"I was able to track the phone call Miller made to his girlfriend," Adam added. "Pinged off a tower four blocks from the Riverwalk."

"Alright, Ruzek, Atwater, start pulling surveillance footage in the vicinity of the Riverwalk. Burgess, put a BOLO out of Miller's car. Upton, ask Sergeant Platt to get some patrol officers canvassing down there. Miller's car can't be too far from that cell tower."

***

It didn't take long to find Miller's car, so we all went down to the scene. Hailey, Jay, Voight and I were walking towards the car.

"That's a lot of blood on the pavement." Hailey pointed out as we approached. It looked like whoever's it was had been dragged into another vehicle too.

"And on the side of the car, too." I added.

With gloves on, Jay opened the driver side door, peering inside. "There's more on the inside as well."

"The victim was trying to get into his car." I theorised. "So he opens the door whilst on the phone to his wife, then gets attacked, line goes dead. Blood starts to spill, he falls to the ground and his head lands right about...here." I pointed to the pool of blood gathered just below the car door.

"And then the offender or offenders drag the body that way," Hailey adds, gesturing to the drag marks as she walks beside them. "And into a vehicle to get the hell out of here."

"Alright, lets get CSU out here right away." Voight says, and Jay walks off to radio in for them.

_**To be continued...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh a case 😂 I may or may not have borrowed this from another TV show, so sorry if that's a little bit cheating. I am putting my own bits into it, if that's any consolation 🤷♀️
> 
> There will probably be about 4 chapters to this case, seeing as it's extremely long, but I don't know for sure as I haven't finished writing it out yet.
> 
> Still got a bit of writer's block, but I am slowly getting past it. Thank you to everyone still sticking around and supporting the story during my personal hiatus 🥰
> 
> Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, I really appreciate them! ❤️


	31. Chapter 31

A few hours later and we had gotten the results from CSU and followed a few leads. Miller had been attacked with a baseball bat or a pipe, hit at least twenty times, meaning it was very unlikely he was still alive. The principal of the school he worked at called back and told us the name of the student who threw a punch at Miller, but after following that lead we found that the kid was just angry and stressed out due to finals and lost his temper, but alibied out for the time of the attack. He did put us onto another lead though. Apparently, he saw Miller and another guy arguing in the school parking lot a few days ago, which was backed up by pod footage. The argument got pretty aggressive, and the person who was fighting with Miller was a guy called Max Bailey, who happened to be Vanessa Anderson’s ex-husband. We snatched him up, and he had some strong accusations about Miller. He said he was a paedophile, that he was dating one of his students. Bailey admitted to following Miller and caught him hugging a female student on the corner of some street a few days ago. So, we searched around, and it turns out he was actually telling the truth. We couldn’t find anything in his apartment or car that could tie him to the attack, and we found video evidence supporting his story; Miller and a girl were caught hugging on a nearby store’s surveillance video. After asking around the school who she was, we got a name and an address. Jessica Sanchez, senior at West Harbour High, came to the US two years ago from Tampico, Mexico after being granted temporary asylum along with her six-year-old little sister, Sofia, and they both live with their grandma in Pilsen.

After we got that information, me and Jay headed off to go speak to Jessica and see if she could shed some light on our case. We arrived at the address in no time, getting out of the car and knocking on the door. Now, we were just patiently stood on either side of the door waiting for and answer. We heard the bolts inside being unlatched before the door opened just a crack.

Only, we didn’t see anyone on the other side. That was until we looked down to see a young girl staring up at us. I looked over at Jay, who had his brows furrowed in confusion, before squatting down to the girl’s level and sending a smile her way.

“Hi, sweetie. I’m Maddie and this is Jay. We’re detectives. You must be Sofia.”

She nodded slowly, and you could see the suspicion in her eyes and her stance, so I pulled the badge, that I was wearing around my neck, fully out of my coat and showed it to her. She examined it cautiously before looking back into my eyes.

“Is Jessica in? We need to speak to her.” I asked.

Sofia looked behind her before opening the door, walking off down the corridor. I stood back up and followed her in, Jay right behind me.

“Jess, there’s police that want to speak to you.” Sofia said sweetly, tapping her sister on the shoulder, who was sat at the dining table, before going to sit back down on the couch and watch TV.

Jessica turned around in her chair, and we saw her face for the first time, one that held a very nervous expression.

“Jessica, we just want to ask you a couple of questions about your English teacher, Patrick Miller. Do you two spend a lot of time together?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We’re just trying to understand the nature of your relationship.” Jay defended. “Do you two see each other outside of the classroom?”

“Yeah, but, I don’t wanna talk about any of that.”

I glanced over my shoulder at Jay, showing him a look that he understood, so he left me and Jessica alone to talk and went over to see Sofia. Meanwhile, I sat down beside Jessica.

“Look, Jessica, if your relationship is in any way romantic, or you’re having sex, it’s not your fault.”

She spun her head round to face me and she looked horrified. “Sex? What are you talking about? He was my teacher. He was my friend. He was t-trying to save my life.” She said, her voice wavering more and becoming quieter the more she spoke.

I furrowed my brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“He was trying to help get me out. You know, of gang life.” She showed us the small tattoo on her hand as a single tear dropped down her cheek before she continued. “I’ve been part of DT-15 since I was thirteen, but I can't take it anymore, I just, I wanna live a normal life, I wanna do normal things. And Mr. Miller was gonna help me do all of that, but...now he's dead.”

My eyes widened slightly in shock, and I looked over my shoulder once more at Jay who had a similar expression to mine, which showed me he was listening.

“Dead? You know that for sure?”

“Yeah. Some people told me.”

“Do you know where his body is?”

***

Once Jessica told us where, we called Voight and the team, who said they’d meet us at the location with a dog unit. Both Jessica and Sofia had to come with us, seeing as we needed Jessica and we couldn’t leave Sofia at home on her own. Before we got to the scene, We decided that Jay would stay in the car with Sofia.

So now here we were, canvassing the area and following the dogs who were trying to find the body of the man that for hours we hoped was still alive. The dog stopped and barked at a mattress, which Adam went to overturn. Underneath was the battered and bruised body of Patrick Miller, the skin of his face so beaten there was barely a patch of white in the purple sea.

“Oh my god.” Jessica gasped when she saw him, despite being told to stay back. I immediately pulled her out of the way and began walking back to the car. “It’s my fault. This is all my fault.”

“Why would you say that?” I said softly whilst placing my hand on her back to comfort her.

“Some of the guys in the gang overheard that Miller was trying to help me. That’s why they killed him.”

“Wait, so the gang doesn’t know that you want out?”

“No,” she cried. “Because if they did, I’d be laid right there next to him.”

***

After getting Jessica and her sister back to the station, Kim took Sofia into the breakroom whilst Jay and I took Jessica into an Interrogation room. She told us all she knew, which wasn’t a lot, but she had connections. She’d had a hard life, being forced to commit crimes in return for the gang not killing her and the rest of her family. But when some members joked that Sofia was nearly old enough to be initiated, she knew she had to do something. So she made Sofia feign an illness; a rare form of leukaemia that required a bone marrow transplant from her that could only be done in a special hospital in the states. Both Jess and her sister escaped to Chicago, living with their Grandma until three months ago, when she passed away suddenly, leaving Jessica to take care of Sofia since.

Unfortunately, she was discovered by the branch of her gang that had moved to Chicago, who were helping out the Latin Kings with some drug running. And now she was being forced to do her bit in the gang, to prove her loyalty after disappearing for so long. Despite this, she had no definite knowledge of who killed Miller, but she had a few likely individuals on her mind.

Marco Gomez was the person she thought was most likely to do something like this. He was the leader of the Chicago set of the DT-15, a ruthless killer with psychopathic traits. She managed to set up a meet with him, but according to Jess, he never went anywhere alone. He always had his tight-knit group with him, acting more as bodyguards than friends. But like Voight said, it was our best shot at a confession and therefore justice, and despite my numerous objections, I knew that too. We all did. But still, we didn’t like putting Jess in so much danger.

I felt so sympathetic towards Jess. She’d been born into bad news, and couldn’t escape it, however hard she tried. Even her attempts to protect her little sister had been fruitless, and now she was having to put her life on the line to save them both once again and get justice for one of the only people who had ever shown her a shred of kindness.

And now I had to get her set up for the meet. She was sat in the break room with her little sister, who was drawing with some crayons I’d found for her earlier to keep her busy whilst our team discussed the plan on the other side of the door. I’d let Jess know ten minutes ago what we had to do, and she courageously had no protest. The only thing she requested was some time with her sister before entering the lion’s den.

I rapped my knuckles lightly against the door, gently opening it and smiling over at the girls sat beside each other at the table. I walked over, my arms folded over my chest, and crouched down beside Sofia.

“Wow, Sofia. This is really good.” I praised, looking at her drawing.

“Gracias. It’s mi familia. This is my mamí and this is Jess.” She proudly pointed out each one, and I placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a little squeeze, to which she beamed brightly at me, and I returned a smile just as bright. Guiltily, I gazed over to Jessica and nodded, and she replied with a knowing look on her face.

“Sofia, I’m going to have to go somewhere for a while, but you’re safe here. I love you.” Jess said, wrapping her arms around her sister and hugging her tightly, kissing the top of her head before letting go.

“I love you too, Jess.” Sofia smiled, and she went back to her drawing. I stood, leading Jess out of the room as Trudy went in to look after Sofia whilst the whole of Intelligence got ready downstairs.

I brought a wired-up necklace and phone over to Jess, who was sat alone at the table where I left her.

“So we have a camera and microphone in this necklace, and there’s another microphone as a backup in the phone.” I said, handing her both items. She began unclasping the necklace to put around her neck. “Most importantly, be careful; don’t push for information. Let your friends do all of the talking. Hopefully someone will admit to the murder.”

“Yeah, I get it. I know how to play these dudes.” She said, smirking at me, which I chuckled at. Then her tone became more serious. “Hey, I just wanted to say thank you, you know, for helping me instead of jumping to conclusions. You’ve been so kind to me and Sofia, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

“Jess, you don’t have to repay me.” I sighed, sadly, but still smiled at her. I grabbed her hands, which were clasped nervously on the table, squeezing them ever so slightly. “We’re gonna get you out, and then I’ll help find a good foster home for you and Sofia, get you new identities and you can live your life freely with no fear.”

She nodded with glassy eyes that mirrored my own. It was going to be difficult tonight, but she knew it would be worth it. That’s when Adam rounded the corner, catching my attention.

“We got a hit on the saliva: Marco Gomez.”

Jess sighed. “I thought so.”

“Well, the fact that we got a hit means that he was probably there for the murder, but its not enough for an arrest. We need a confession or at least something incriminating, so try and focus your attention on him.”

Jess nodded, taking a deep breath before standing up, looking me dead in the eye with determination burning in her pupils and saying, “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's been so long, I'm terribly sorry. I'm really struggling writing out these chapters for this case, but the next one should be the last one for it and hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things with my writing. 🤞 I have loads of Ideas left for the story, so there will definitely be more chapters, don't worry. 😜
> 
> I just wanted to thank you all for sticking with me, even with the slow updates at the moment. I really appreciate all of your comments and messages. They really bring a smile to my face and I love talking to you guys, so so much. 🥰
> 
> I just wanted to let you all know that I have finally started taking Tumblr requests for one-shots/imagines at https://ld-1204.tumblr.com so if you have any ideas, feel free to send em in! This is my way of trying to get past my writer's block and to share any ideas that wouldn't fit into this story. 😄
> 
> Once again, thank you for all the love. Seriously. You're all so amazingly kind! You will never understand how much I adore all of you and enjoy talking to you, it means so much to me that you like my stories. So thank you. This story wouldn't be the same without all of you. ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated 🤗


	32. Chapter 32

I never liked these types of cases. Not even on my first week on the job. You become a police officer to do something, to make a change in the world, be it big or small, so when you're sat outside in the warmth and safety of your car watching someone untrained on a wire trying to help your investigation, it hurts.

This time it was especially painful. In the short time I had known Jess, we had talked quite a lot, mainly five minutes earlier whilst we were waiting for her buddies to show up. She'd had a hard life, yet she was still a bright, charismatic young girl who had her whole life ahead of her. She was telling me about her abuelita's job as a nurse when Jess got a call saying they were ready to meet. She looked brave as she caught my eye before she left the car, but I saw a hint of terror in her eyes. You can't blame her at all.

"Hey, Mads?" Jay said softly, reaching a hand over to place reassuringly on your knee. "She knows what she's doing, and we have her back."

"I know." I breathed out. Something didn't feel right, but I can't place it.

It was an abandoned warehouse, and as Jess walked down the stairs to the basement, you saw at least five guys, some just a little older than her though they all looked young, stood near each other at the bottom. When she reached the bottom step, one of the guys walked over to her, and you immediately recognised him.

Marco Gomez.

 _"What's up, Jess?"_ He passed her a beer.

 _"Nothing much. What's going on here?"_ She asked, looking around at all the guys strewn about on old couches and chairs.

 _"Just a party."_ He smirked.

 _"A party?"_ Jess' voice seemed more strained now, and I swear I could hear her swallow harshly through the mic. _"You mean an actual party or..."_

 _"I mean we have some business to take care of_." Gomez still had that smug grin on his face as he walked over to one of the couches, picking up a machete. I felt my heart go into my mouth, and I'm not even the one in the room. I can't imagine how Jess is feeling.

That's when one of the guys on the couch stood up and left the room, re-entering seconds later dragging a girl behind him, her arms bound behind her back and her face more bitter than a lemon.

 _"So, Jess, I'm gonna be straight up with you."_ Gomez smirked as he walked slowly over to Jess and played with the machete in his hands _. "I like you, but I've been getting nervous. So, if you do this, it means a lot for your integrity."_

He handed Jess the machete, and it hit me. He was asking her to kill this girl.

"Sarge, are you seeing this?" I said to Voight through the two-way.

 _"Stand-by. We may have to roll in."_ Was all I got back. I looked over to Jay, and he seemed to have adopted a more on-edge stance.

 _"Why Kayla?"_ Jess asked. She knew this girl?

_"She ain't been loyal, spending too much time with the Latin Kings, alone. You feel me?"_

_"Yeah, I feel you."_

_"So, we've gotta send a message. Or should I say, you have to send a message. And its gotta be cold-blooded and messy. Slit that bitch's throat."_

Gomez went and grabbed Kayla from the other guy and dragged her over in front of Jess, forcing her to kneel down. Jess was hesitant, but eventually raised the machete to her throat.

 _"Hit it."_ Voight said over the radio. We jumped out of the car and raced to the doors, keeping the audio open but unable to see the visual. Just as Kevin was about to kick open the door, I heard the metallic ring of the machete as Jess raised it above her head. I was bracing myself for the next ring as it was swung and the screams that were bound to happen, when laughter erupted, from everyone in there.

 _"Stand down."_ Voight's voice came through the earpiece. There was a communal sigh of relief as we all fell back, staying somewhat in position but getting down behind cover to hide. " _It was a test."_

Sick freaks. If they thought this was hilarious, they have a very strange sense of humour.

 _"Can't believe you were gonna kill me, Jess."_ Kayla chuckled, getting to her feet and snatching the machete from Jess' hands. _"I thought we were friends."_

 _"I love you, Kayla, but the gang comes first."_ Jess replied, an evident shake in her voice that had grown in intensity since the last time she spoke. Luckily, it seemed as if the gang members hadn't noticed or cared. Still, my heart wouldn't slow to a normal pace until this was all over.

 _"I told you she was down_." Kayla turned to Marco _. "All that BS with that teacher had nothing to do with Jess, it was all him; Miller."_

 _"Wait, so you thought that was me? That I wanted out?"_ Jess chuckled nervously.

_"I started hearing things, Jess. Lucky for you, Kayla had your back, said you were loyal. The rest of us just wanted to make sure."_

_"It's not my fault my teacher was some sort of do-gooder. He kept trying to help me, even when I didn't want the help."_

_"I know."_

_"So, how'd you do it?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"You know, how'd you kill him?"_

_"What do you care?"_ Gomez snapped, getting up from his chair to stand in front of Jess and stare her down.

_"Just curious."_

_"Well, you're asking a lot of questions, Jessica. You're making me nervous."_

A fire lit within Marco's eyes. This didn't look good. She was pushing too hard for a question. Her nerves must have gotten the better of her.

_"You wearing a wire or something?"_

_"What? No! Are you crazy?"_

_"Pass me your phone."_ Marco demanded, hand out, palm up. Jess was hesitating. " _Now!_ "

She did as she was told, handing over the wired phone that we gave her. He took it apart, taking of the back and the battery to find the small microphone hidden behind it.

"You bitch." Gomez seethed, pulling out a gun and pointing it at Jess.

 _"Move in!"_ Voight shouted, and we breached. I heard a loud bang, most likely a gunshot, but I tried to convince myself it was just the door slamming against the wall, however much I knew it wasn't true. Kevin led us, barging straight into the room we were watching through the camera just moments before.

"Chicago PD! Show me your hands!" We all shouted, our guns raised at the assailants in front of us. Some complied, but most reached for their waistbands, probably to pull out a gun. Only I couldn't focus on that, and I was lucky that my team were there to pick up my slack.

Because down on the floor, laid on her back and clutching her chest, was Jess. She had white hot fear in her eyes as I knelt down beside her, placing my hands over the bullet wound that was dangerously close to her heart. She was ghastly pale already, her skin a harsh contrast to the dark pool of crimson that flooded her limp body.

I lifted one hand off, using it to grab my radio. "5021 – James, woman down, GSW to the chest, roll an ambo to our location." I managed to get out, though it sounded more like a cry than I would have liked.

" _Copy 5021 – James, ambulance is on its way."_

"Jess? Jess! Stay with me, Jess, c'mon." I shook her gently to wake her up, though her eyes were starting to get heavy.

"Maddie? Did you get em?" Her voice was merely a slight croak, weak and quiet.

"Yeah, we did, thanks to you. Now you gotta stay with me to see these suckers get put away." I chuckled, a small, soggy laugh, as did she, only she was cut off by a coughing fit.

"That's good." She smiled somewhat, trying so hard to focus on my eyes but it was getting more and more difficult with each passing second. "Maddie, make sure Sofia is safe and happy."

"No, Jess, don't talk like that." I shook my head, trying to get rid of the tears threatening to fall. She was coughing and spluttering blood now, and we both knew she wasn't going to make it. She lifted a hand and rested it on mine that were still putting pressure on her wound.

"C'mon, I know...I know you're not stupid, and we both know I'm...not getting out of here alive." She wheezed, and we exchanged sorry smiles. I removed one hand from her chest to hold her cheek in my palm. "Where I'm going, I'll be at peace for...the first time in my life, and I'll...I'll be able to see my abuelita again."

"Yes, yes you will. You have my word, Jess, Sofia will be happy and safe, I promise." I smiled as a tear fell down my cheek.

"Thank you, Maddie, for everything." She breathed out heavily. That's when her eyes glazed over and the grip she had on my hand, albeit very weak to begin with, went lax as her arm fell to her side once more.

I took a moment, releasing a very shaky breath as I closed her eyes. I laid her head gently back down to the floor and then got to my feet, turning around to see Jay, Voight and Hailey stood watching me. Jay was closest, with his thumbs tucked into the top of his vest as he made his way over, unlatching them once he reached me so he could place a hand on my shoulder. He didn't say anything (what could he say?), just stood, reassuring me with his hand for as long as I needed.

My face was blank. For someone I had met mere hours ago, I feel like I connected with her more than I ever would have expected. She reminded me of...me. She wanted to escape, to have a fresh start away from all the evil in her life, and she utterly deserved it, only to have it ripped away from her.

"I...um...can we..." I couldn't look up from the blood stained on my hands, but Jay knew what I meant.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." He murmured, his hand sliding across my back to put his arm over my shoulders so he could guide me out. As we went up the stairs, he pressed a kiss to my hair, squeezing me a little tighter once the harsh sunlight hit our faces and the ambulance ran past us. I couldn't lift my eyes from my hands for even a second, not until the water from Jay's bottle made me come to my senses and look up, meeting Jay's soft eyes. He helped me wash the blood from them, or at least most of it.

Then we drove back to the district in silence, his hand laid over my thigh, or fingers interlaced in a show of support. We arrived back quite soon, about five minutes after the others arrived, who were currently booking the rest of the gang that we busted into holding. I took a moment to wash my hands whilst Jay took a call from Voight, who had decided to escort the ambulance to the hospital in respect.

I just stared at myself in the mirror. It was like I couldn't recognise the person staring back for a few moments, and when I did, I just felt disappointed in myself. I couldn't save her. She trusted me and I let her down. Now there was a little girl a few rooms away without a sister.

But I had to stop thinking like that. Jess wouldn't want me to. I did my best, I know that and she knew that, but I wasn't in control. But now I owe it to Jess to keep my promises.

I checked over my shirt for any blood that I hadn't noticed, and when I found no stains, I dried off my hands and left the locker room. I made my way to the bullpen, seeing Jay sat at his desk speaking into his phone, not noticing me until I opened the door to the break room. Trudy was still in there with Sofia, sat at the table together watching something on an iPad. She looked up when she heard me come in, and she knew from my face what the bad news was. I confirmed her thoughts with a shake of my head, and she drew in a sharp breath at the realisation of the pain this was going to cause Sofia.

"Hey, Sofia. Whatcha looking at?" I asked, smiling and walking over to look over her shoulder.

Sofia beamed up at me, a bright light in her eyes. "Moana. Where's Jess?"

I internally winced. The time had come. I glanced over to Trudy, who muttered something about having to go check the desk, leaving me and Sofia alone.

"Let's go sit on the couch." I smiled a small smile at Sofia before taking her hand and leading her to the couch. She sat on the side closest to the door, facing me, her back to the rest of Intelligence who were now gathered outside the room in the bullpen, all watching in.

"Sofia, I just want to say how amazing you have been today. You've been very brave, and you should be very proud of yourself..." I started, slightly stalling. "You know how your sister was helping us out with catching some really bad people?"

She nodded at me, a slight concern beginning to show on her face.

"Well, sadly..."

**_Jay's POV_ **

We all watched Maddie from the bullpen, a sombre atmosphere flooding the room as we watched her tell a little girl the worst news she could hear. Her face was sincere, sympathetic, comforting, as her lips moved to tell Sofia about her sister. Though we couldn't see Sofia's face, it was obvious she was distraught; her shoulders wracked with sobs, she started lashing out when Maddie hugged her (though soon was too exhausted and possibly numb to use so much energy) and we could hear her screams and cries through the door.

Maddie had Sofia cradled in her arms within seconds of her beginning to cry, and when she had mostly calmed, Sofia curled up as small as she could withing Maddie's embraced, neither of them moving for what felt like an eternity before the rest of the unit went back to their respective desks, one by one. I stayed leaned against the wall, looking through the slits in the blinds at the two girls in the couch, an overwhelming admiration in my heart for the comfort Maddie provided Sofia. She stroked her hair, whispering what I can only assume were assurances that Jessica was in a better place, that Jessica loved Sofia, that she had promised to make sure Sofia was safe and happy.

She was amazing with children, that I already knew, but every time a case comes up that involves a child, Maddie just excels at comforting them, making them feel safe, making them laugh.

So it really wasn't a surprise when I properly realised how badly I want a future with this woman, to bring a child into this world together, sharing our love with them forever.

And to think just a year ago I was completely against having children at all, especially with my job.

I didn't realise how long had past until Maddie emerged from the break room, gently closing the door behind her before walking over to me with a sad smile gracing her lips. I immediately pulled her into my arms, letting her decompress before speaking.

**_Maddie's POV_ **

"You did great, you know." Jay mumbled into my hair.

"Thank you. There was no easy way to do it, I just couldn't keep her in the dark much longer." I replied, pulling slightly out of his embrace to look up at him. "I wanted to give her a few minutes alone, just to take it all in and think for a bit, let her feel whatever she needs to."

"That's a good idea."

I smiled, looking around at everyone sort of working. They were all just staring at their screens or playing with a pen. Not that I blame them. No one would be ready to jump straight back into reports after what just happened.

"I'm gonna order in some pizza for everyone, including Sofia. She hasn't eaten yet this afternoon, I don't think." Jay offered, and I nodded, letting go so he could go get everyone's orders.

I took a moment to watch Sofia through the half-closed blinds. She was curled up into a little ball, her back still wracking with heavy sobs. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain she felt. I decided to call DCFS, wanting to be sure there were no problems that could make this day any harder for her than they already were. So I walked off and past the interrogation rooms to find a quiet spot, pulling my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and calling a contact I had at DCFS who I was sure Voight would have called to handle this situation, seeing as we had worked with her before.

" _Good afternoon, Detective Turner."_

"Hi, Tina, I just wanted to check on the situation with Sofia Sanchez."

" _Ah, yes, your sergeant called me earlier to request a more secure group home or family, but unfortunately there isn't one available. She'll have to go into a normal security home. I'm sorry."_

I knew she couldn't help it, but my blood boiled. She wouldn't be safe in a normal security home. DT-15 would be after her for revenge, not that Sofia had anything to do with what happened today. A normal home wouldn't be good enough, but I had an idea.

A few months ago, we worked a homicide case. The victim was a young woman who also happened to be a new and single mother. I got quite attached to the baby boy, and there was no family for over 500 miles, so he would have had to go to a foster home for the night whilst his grandparents drove up from Atlanta. None of the unit felt safe letting the baby go to a foster home, seeing as we hadn't found out the motive for his mother's murder and so he could still be in danger. I asked Voight if he would help me get foster parent status so I could take him home for the night, and after he pulled a few strings with some old contacts that he had, I was awarded a foster parent status. I still was, but my apartment was in no shape to look after Sofia for as long as was needed, as it would most likely be more than a few nights that she would be staying with me. I only had one bedroom, I was halfway through packing up my stuff to fully move in with Jay next weekend and, seeing as I was practically living with Jay already, I had basically no food in the kitchen.

"I have an idea, Tina, but can I call you back in a few minutes? I just need to check something."

" _Sure, no problem."_

And with that, I ended the call. I took a deep breath before making my way back to the bullpen. I immediately saw jay at his desk, his eyes glued to the screen before he saw me out of the corner of his eye, so he looked up and smiled in my direction. I smiled back, gesturing with my head for him to come over to me, which he furrowed his brows at but did so anyway.

"Hey, what's up?" He whispered once he got to me.

"Can we go somewhere quiet for a minute?" I whispered back, and he nodded, leading me to the locker room.

Once in there, he leaned his shoulder against a locker as I faced him. I explained to him how there wasn't a secure home available for Sofia, but that I was able to take her, only my apartment wasn't suitable.

"So, I just wanted to ask if we could both take her in at yours? I'd understand if you didn't want to-"

"Of course I want to, Mads. I'd love to. She'd be safer with us for now than any group home." He smiled, and I instantly relaxed.

"Thank you." I smiled and leaned in, his lips meeting mine halfway to kiss me sweetly.

"I really admire what you're doing." He muttered after he pulled away, smiling at me softly, which I returned. "I'm gonna go check on Sofia if you wanna call DCFS back and let them know."

I nodded as he walked out of the room, throwing a smile over his shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

I called Tina back, who was more than happy to let Sofia stay with us until somewhere more permanent was available, and then left the locker room with a smile on my face. I looked around at my team, grateful to see that they had all begun to decompress after earlier. It was a tough situation to be a part of, losing someone on your side. Obviously, it was the hardest when it was a member of your team, who you love and they love you back every step of the way, but there's something about losing a CI or a civilian who risked everything to bring about justice that doesn't sit well at all. I know I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt, and I probably will get pangs of it every so often, so from the similar looks on their faces and the general atmosphere, the rest of Intelligence must too.

The only person who wasn't at their desk was Jay, and after looking around for a few seconds, I noticed a second figure inside the break room. He was sat at the little table with Sofia, smiling at her drawing as he relaxed next to her, his arm on the back of her chair in a show of support. My own smile grew on my face as I made my way over, knocking lightly on the door before entering.

"Hey you two, having fun?"

Both of them sent beaming smiles my way, and I felt my heart swell at the sight. I could tell Sofia's expression had a sombre undertone, but I'm honestly amazed at how she was smiling anyway, and it is definitely a good thing. I'm pretty sure Jay worked his magic; he always was good with kids, and I swear it made my love for him grow even more every time.

"Yeah! Look, Maddie, Jay said I could draw something for Jess for her funeral." Sofia exclaimed proudly, lifting the paper up to show me. I walked over to them so I could see It better, standing next to her and crouching to get to their level.

On the paper was a scene; a police car with a man and woman in front of it, with who I assume is Sofia and Jess stood beside them.

"Oh wow, Sofia, this is beautiful!" I smiled, putting my arm around her shoulders and giving her a gentle squeeze.

"That's me and Jess, and that's you and Jay. She really liked you both, and I do too." She pointed as she relayed what she had drawn.

"Well, we like you too." Jay chuckled, looking over to me for confirmation that Tina had given us permission. I gave a slight nod, to which Jay's smile got brighter.

"Hey, Sofia, I need to ask you something." I smiled at her, turning my whole body to face her as I grabbed her hands. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad. I wanted to see if you'd like to come home with me and Jay for a few nights until we can find you somewhere more permanent to stay."

"Yes!" Sofia practically squealed, causing me and Jay to giggle as Sofia launched herself forward into my arms and squeezed me tightly with her little arms. I wrapped mine around her, smiling over to Jay, his eyes full of love and affection. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

***

After dinner and a few more drawings, the three of us headed home, stopping by a store on the way home to grab some essentials for Sofia. Whilst walking around the aisles, I got a call from Tina again, saying there was a family interested in fostering Sofia who were capable of protecting her, with the father being a security guard and the mother an army veteran. I told her I'd run more thorough background checks on them, regarding the situation, and meet them personally for somewhat of an interrogation, but if all went well then Sofia would be with them in the next few days.

Back at home, I got the guest bedroom ready whilst Jay and Sofia enjoyed whatever cartoon was playing on the TV until she could barely keep her eyes open. Today had been draining for all of us, no further explanation needed, but especially for her. We both tucked her in and said a sweet goodnight coupled with a bedtime story before we retreated back to our own bedroom.

Once settled down, Jay wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me into his chest. He drew soothing circles on my back as I listened to his heartbeat.

"Mads?" He whispered gently into my hair, a sweet sound that seemed to sweep through the fuzziness that swam in my sleep-bound brain.

"Mmm?" I mumbled, an incoherent answer but that was all he needed.

"After today, I know for sure that I want to have children with you."

That seemed to completely eradicate any exhaustion as I propped myself up on my arm to look into his eyes. I needed to know he was telling the truth, not that I had any doubts.

"When I think about my future, it's not just mine anymore. It hasn't been for a long time. It's ours. And I see the house that we have bought together and renovated, getting covered in paint because we got too distracted to realise it before its too late. I see me building the crib in the nursery while you dictate to me how to do it from the rocking chair in the corner because you're sat spooning ice cream into your mouth from the tub rested on your bump. I see us telling our kids to be careful as they run around like mad men in the yard. I see us sat together at our children's weddings, nostalgic but happy that they've grown up to become wonderful people." His eyes had been darting around as he imagined all of the different scenes, until at once his eyes locked onto mine and his grin grew impeccably wider. "I see us, Maddie."

I'm surprised I hadn't started sobbing with elation, but then Jay's thumb reached out to swipe a tear from my cheek.

"I see that too, Jay. I see that and more. And it's scary, but I know we can do it. Together."

He leaned down and kissed me sweetly, a kiss that conveyed a message deeper than words could attempt to describe. And I knew then for definite that I had found the person that knew me better than I knew myself. Someone who loves me, which is something I had been terrified that I would never find. But like two pieces of a broken star, we had slotted together like magic, a feat so terrific you would only believe it happened in fables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy. Sorry, I took a long break. And updates aren't going to be regular. I have one more chapter written out after this, but then I don't think there will be any more until the new season of Chicago PD starts up. It also doesn't help that I'm super busy, so I'm sorry. This is also unedited, so expect mistakes 😜. I've also been watching other shows too, but if you ever want to see me being active, I am relatively on my Tumblr, which is @ld-1204. 
> 
> Also, thank you so much for all the nice words and support you have given me. It all means so much, and I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed!


	33. Chapter 33

Even though I have never been formally diagnosed with PTSD, I have some of the symptoms. And you may think, how can I be so scarred from seemingly mild trauma from the night of the fundraising gala. I must say, after Roger explicitly showed me what his intentions were, it made me realise that some previous incidents, that I simply noted down to my imagination going wild, weren't as innocent as they appeared to be. Not only that, but after that night, Roger's confidence only seemed to grow, and exponentially at that. Little caresses of the arm as he passed me, lingering eyes that housed a dark fantasy, words that could be interpreted as menacingly as they could innocently. All of which wore me down, grating persistently on my mental health, my confidence, my entire life. I have always prided myself on being strong, fierce, brave, I still do, but somehow that vermin who doesn't deserve to be called a man was able to strip all that back and find a fragile part of my core I wasn't even aware existed.

And I'm terrified.

Terrified that he still has some sort of grasp on me, wherever I go. Terrified that I couldn't stand up to a man who is so weak and unsure of himself that he needed to exert control over something to convince himself he is still a _man._ Terrified that he could be doing the same to my mother and I'm none the wiser, even going so far as to run away when I could have held my ground and tried to save her.

Though, whatever I let my mind spiral into, it always comes back to my mum. The sweetest woman I have ever met, who also showed me that even when you show amity to some, you need to keep the fire in you alight in case it is needed for others. For years I grew up with only her consistently by my side, and she moulded me into the woman I am today. But then Roger came along, charmed her, and gradually she began to change. She grew colder, less empathetic, and her heart, that was once of gold and unwavering love, decayed and withered as Roger poisoned it. So now I barely know my own mother, and even though I moved to another continent, she became somewhat of a stranger months before I even considered leaving. I never told her the reason why I moved, in fact, I had never told anyone before Jay, even though I'm pretty sure Olivia Benson knew. Especially after she found me shaking in the corridor of the precinct after interviewing the most disturbing serial rapists I have ever met, and that's not an achievement to be proud of.

The shrill metallic slam of a nearby locker is what rips me from my train of thought, followed by one of patrol's boots playing a melody on the ground, the sound dissipating the further away from the locker room they got. I checked my phone, rereading the text I received this morning from Sofia's foster mum about how well she was settling in, which calmed me slightly. I closed my locker with less anger, shaking my head slightly as I slipped my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and left the locker room.

On my way down the corridor, Kim was to the left, cradling a to-go cup of coffee, staring contemplatively at a poster on the bulletin board. Her usual softly sparkling eyes were bare of all shine, a somewhat radiating disappointment coming from the chocolate rings.

"Hey, Kim, you okay?" I said quietly, laying a hand gently on her shoulder as I looked at the board to see what she was staring at.

"Have you checked your emails?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"They're looking to cancel the first responders' fundraiser because the place hosting it has had to drop."

"What? Damn, I was really looking forward to it." I mumbled, genuinely disheartened. The first responders' fundraiser was held every year, with a special twist every five years. The aim was to raise money for all sorts of things related to emergency services; new gear, to help out the families of those lost in the line of duty, scholarships for new recruits. This year, being the twenty-fifth one, they were holding it as a masquerade ball, and the posters distributed to the precincts and main police buildings were exquisite. The details had been decided down to the colour of the tablecloths, the extravagant nature of the event not being unusual, but they seemed to have really outdone themselves this year. Which made the fact they were probably going to have to cancel even more of a shame.

"Have you bought your dress yet?" Kim asked as we wandered, relatively slowly, towards the bullpen.

"Yeah, I have." I smiled in her direction, being met with earnest eyes which showed her genuine interest. "I am - _was –_ looking forward to getting to wear it. What about you?"

"Me too, last week. I went for a lovely dark green satin with little embellishments trailing down the skirt."

I swallowed harshly, grateful that she had looked away to reminisce about buying it. The way she described it made me realise it was very similar to the dress I wore to the London gala. And today wasn't the best day to have that flashback. I managed to reply with a small but warm, "Sounds gorgeous." as we crossed the threshold into the bullpen. Her desk being the closest, she sat down first. I noticed that Voight had had the desks rearranged so that the partners faced each other, each desk being parallel to the way he had his in his office as opposed to how they were perpendicular to it previously.

My partner wasn't at his desk, so I carried on and into the break room to see Jay stirring a mug of coffee, looking up and smiling when he notices me enter. I joined him at the counter near the coffee machine, leaning my hip against it. He handed me the mug he was previously stirring.

"Thanks." I mumbled, graciously accepting and encasing the mug with both of my hands.

Jay looked over my shoulder and out into the bullpen as he poured another coffee out, this time for himself. "What's up with Kim?"

"She's just, um, disappointed about the fundraiser, you know?" I murmured, not really thinking about my answer as I watch the little bubbles swirling about on top of my coffee like my thoughts were swirling about in my head.

"Hey," Jay almost whispered, placing a soothing hand on my shoulder, encouraging me to lift my eyes to meet his. They looked like consoling blankets of jade wool, ready to accept the challenge of listening to my thoughts. "How about you? Are you okay?"

I offered a small smile, and though it didn't quite reach my eyes, Jay didn't push, at least not yet. "Yeah, I'm okay, just, brings back some memories, you know?"

He returned the smile, nodding softly. "Yeah, more than you probably realise."

I let out a deep breath before he gently took the mug from my hands, placing it to the side. He wrapped his arms around me, showing me love, safety, companionship, and I melted into his embrace, allowing his comfort to seep through my skin and relax all of the tension in my muscles. It felt like minutes, though it was probably a fair few seconds, before I felt his lips press against my hair as his arms became fractionally looser. This allowed me to look up and into his eyes as I whispered, "Thank you."

"Of course, angel. And if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate, I'm always here for you."

"Same for you. I love you."

"I love you too." He replied, leaning forward to steal a chaste kiss before he left the room, but not before meeting my eyes once more as he smiled over his shoulder at me. And for the first time that day, the smile that graced my lips was reflected in my eyes.

***

It was a few hours later when the buzz of my phone on the desk made me tear my eyes away from the computer screen. For the past three hours or so, we were all dotting the i's and crossing the t's on the paperwork for the major cartel bust we pulled off in conjunction with narcotics before the weekend. All of which makes the text I received very heavily appreciated. It was from Sadie:

_S: Hey! I'm in town, want to grab a bite?_

Let me tell you, the loud erupting growl from my stomach made it sound as if I hadn't eaten in a week, so when that text came through, it was like it was heaven-sent.

_M: Oh definitely, I'm due a lunch break anyways. Where do you wanna meet?_

_S: My hotel's restaurant, 10 mins?_

_M: See you there!_

Smiling, I stood up, grabbing my jacket and pulling it on as I walk towards Voight's office. I knocked on the doorframe and said, "Hey, sarge, can I take a personal half hour, an hour at the most? A friend from back home asked if I could get lunch."

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Thanks." I smiled, walking away and towards Jay. I laid a hand on his shoulder, and I swear I got butterflies when he looked up with the boyish grin of his.

"Hey, babe, what's up?"

"I'm gonna grab lunch with Sadie so I'm taking the car, but I'll leave my radio on."

"No problem, I'll grab a ride with someone else if I have to. Say hi for me."

"Will do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, this is the last chapter I'm gonna put out for a while. I just don't have the time to write out new chapters right now, and that along with my loss of inspiration isn't gonna be good for storytelling. I do have ideas, but I probably won't be writing them until the new seasons start up, and that's at the earliest.
> 
> Again, thank you for all the support. I love you guys so much, you're all amazing <3
> 
> If you enjoyed, please leave kudos and comment!


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